Off Topic: Toilet Paper

[Dave:Blackeye15]

"The Thing from Another World"

-the first rule of fat club-

[Scott]

With "grammer nazi's" and "I hate nudity" bringing in high hits (ratings)  I thought I would bring back an oldie, but a goodie. ASHTHECAT'S Off Topic: Toilet Paper. One of my favorite.  

With only 31 responses I thought it could do better.

[Susan]

Well then - what did they use before toilet paper , newspaper and the sears robuck catalogue?
I've read of the following:
leaves
sand
wool
stones
Corn cobs (colonial america..ahh those were the days)
mussel shell

tidbit:
The use of water to clean oneself is common in southern India, where people use their left hand to clean themselves, and their right hand for eating. In parts of Africa, the converse is true, and a right-handed handshake could be considered rude

The average tear is 5.90 sheets of TP.
44% wipe from front to back from behind their backs.
60% look at the paper after they wipe.
42% fold, 33% crumple, 8% do both fold and crumple, 6% wrap it around their hands.
50% say that they have wiped with leaves.
8% have wiped with their hands.
2% have wiped with money!

Oh - and here ya go. This is what happens when you don't let a thread die:
bathroom survey
And on that note..i'm outta here!



Post Edited (12-19-03 23:49)

[Mofo Rising]

I'm sorry, Susan, but having those statistics handy is creepy.  (Get it?  Handy?  Huh?  Huh?  Oh, nevermind.)

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Dr. Seuss wrote a book about this.

Personally, I prefer over the top, but only because it reminds me of the movie, which reminds me of the Sammy Hagar, and anytime I can sing Sammy Hagar at the top of my lungs while taking a crap is a high note in my book (set to be published 2004).

But then again those child welfare agents in the Simpsons were pretty adamant that the proper hanging fashion was underhand.

At any rate, I'd like to share this poem I wrote:

"What could be worse than finding a spider on your toilet paper?"
I asked, staring into the eyes of my deepest love.
With unwavering gaze, she kept an enticing silence,
And slowly, languidly she replied in black velvet voice,
"Finding that spider six seconds too late, my love."
In that moment, I died.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.  (No, I'm going on vacation on Sunday.)

[Ash]

Hey thanks Scott for reviving this dead thread...now it's UNDEAD!!

Susan wrote:

The average tear is 5.90 sheets of TP. / Not with the female roommates I've had!  We're talking a roll every other day!  
I myself am superconservative.  I try to see how much can be collected using the fewest squares possible.

44% wipe from front to back from behind their backs./ I fit into this category.  
And WHY would you want to wipe from back to front?  
It would be like a clock going backwards!  
It wouldn't look or feel right!

60% look at the paper after they wipe./ Ok I disagree with this one...You MUST look at the paper...how else are you to know when you're done wiping if you don't look at it!  
More like 90% I would imagine look at it.
What was left out was how many people hold it up to their noses and snff it!  
YUCK!

42% fold, 33% crumple, 8% do both fold and crumple, 6% wrap it
around their hands./ I'm a crumpler

50% say that they have wiped with leaves./ Yes I do admit that I have indeed wiped with leaves...several oak leaves when I was about 11 to be specific!

8% have wiped with their hands./  Now that's just disgusting!

2% have wiped with money!/ I wish I was that rich!

Maybe now you all know me a little bit better. (Maybe more than you probably wanted to!)
Hehe!



Post Edited (12-20-03 06:14)

[Flangepart]

Heh....get a roll on a vertical post. Then you have to choose....left or right! Botton whipeing and political pursuasion, all in one!
Do you like the paper lip to hang to the right or left?
Bwahahahaha!

[trekgeezer]

Over the top please!  People really count  the little squares? Is this some kind of  fetish?

[Neon Noodle]

Should be over the top. That way your fingers aren't touching the wall when you grab the paper. 'Nuff said.

[Scott]

It gets my vote as # 1 ASHTHECAT (or is that # 2). The post left me in stitches (quilted) in September and thought it deserve better.

Phew ! Susan those are statistics. (They say you can make statistics say anything you want them to. You proved them right. )

Flangepart has given us a whole new angle on the subject.

[Ash]

Oh......I just couldn't resist bringing this "UNDEAD" thread back for a little more carnage!

Since there are a few new people here I thought it'd be nice to hear their opinions!

Hehe!

[wickednick]

Ash you are inhuman.Remeber children shouldn't play with dead things.

[Scott]

With this being the bug season you have to ask yourself "did I buy TP?".

[Ash]

Bug season?
It's February and there are no mosquitos hovering around my head itching to suck my blood.

Oh BUG SEASON!
Flu bugs and cold bugs and strep throat bugs...

I get it!
Hehe!

[Rombles]

Apologies for dragging this particular thread up, considering that the general theme of this is being discussed elsewhere more recently, but I have to add my few cents worth to this specific issue.

Toilet paper should hang over the top.  Not sure if you get printed toilet paper in the US, if so, have a look at it.  If you hang it so it rolls off the bottom, the pattern is upside down. Therefore it is the manufacturers intention that toilet paper hang over the top.  Those who prefer it from the bottom are the same sort of people who open the milk carton at the wrong end - you know, the one that says "Open Other End".

Yes, I turn around toilet paper hung incorrectly.


A similar hatred of mine is public toilet doors.  ALL public toilet doors should either open outwards, or be able to be operated automatically.  Count the number of people who don't wash their hands next time you are in a public toilet.  They all leave via the door.  If the door opens inwards, they use the door handle to open it so they can exit. Without washing their hands.  So the inward-opening toilet door handle is the first point of contact for those who do not wash their hands. Oooooo! I am getting the shakes just thinking about this.   If you are lucky you can use the door-closing mechanism above the door to lever it open, so that you can leave without sharing their disgusting habit, but as I cannot see on top of this, I get concerned about just how clean these are, too. I have been known stand in the "airlock" bit between the two doors in my local shopping centre, and hold both doors open with my feet after other people enter or leave, while waiting for my son to wash his hands, so that we can escape without having to touch any of the door handles.

[The Burgomaster]

I prefer the "over the top" configuration.  And I always buy Charmin.  My butt will accept no substitutes.