Eye-watering moments

[Steve.]

Male members (tee-hee) of this madhou..message board will know what I mean, when I say that a certain part of the anatomy is not to be messed with. Last night I saw VENOM, a very average Brit kidnap-gone-wrong flick with a bizarre cast - Susan George, Ollie Reed, Klaus Kinski and poor old Sterling Hayden. The scene in question happens when Ollie is shot and badly wounded by the cops. He's lying on the stairs of a house, unable to move when he looks down to see a black mamba crawling up his trouser leg (the hose-pipe...er snake is loose in said house). Now, we all know what is about to happen, but it doesn't stop that awful feeling. It bit Ollie's nuts 3 times! I've heard of instinctive reaction, but my legs crossed faster than than a nun's in a Ken Russell epic, and I thanked de lawd that black mambas are pretty rare hereabouts. Anymore for anymore? Another example was when Belial lifted Duane by the balls in "Basket Case".

[Gerry]

How about THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW when the voodoo priest spikes Bill Pullman's...er...serpent to the chair?

[Chadzilla]

"I Spit on Your Grave" - Death by Bobbit.  Blood curdling.  Later the heroine performs a pendectomy with an outboard motor.

"The War of the Roses" - Kathleen Turner puts the bite on Michael Douglas, funny as hell but ouch!

"House on the Edge of the Park" - David (Last House on the Left) Hess takes a bullet in the groin and lets out a slow motion screech of pain that must be seen to be believed.

"Grim Prairie Tales" - After seeing this I didn't want have sex again, ever.

"The Toxic Avenger" -  Guy takes a punch...and a punch...and a punch...ouch.  Nice soprano voice later in the movie though.

"Street Trash" - Game of severed penis keep away!

"Anaconda" and "Sniper" - Both films contain verbal references to Amazonian Aquatic Lifeforms that can go up the urinary tract and make themselves at home.  Eek!

"Stand By Me" - A leech on your nuts.

The novel "Cujo" - Although not shown in the film. Cujo goes for Joe Camber's (Ed Lauter) crown jewels.

[Steve.]

I'd forgotten that one Gerry (OW!). Those AALs have tiny little spines on them I believe, Chad (shudder). "Cross Of Iron" - when that German soldier takes the soviet partisan (female, doesn't remotely resemble a shot-putter) into the barn to "play a game". What's worse is that his CO leaves him to the tender mercies of the rest of the partisan unit. Oh, those pitiful screams.

[David]

Elves - Mall Santa dies by stab wounds to the groin...with a PEN no less, if my memory serves me correctly. Ouch.

Dead Alive - Uncle Les takes a variety of shots to his nether-regions in this one, topped off by the super-zombie Vera applying the Vulcan Death Grip on said area right before she rips out his spinal cord. No wonder he had trouble urinating.

[Vermin Boy]

Death Race 2000 - Sylvester Stallone is driving a car with a serated knife for a hood ornament at high speeds. A banner-painter freezes in the headlights. I think you can guess the rest...

Also in Dead Alive, there's the scene where the mother drags Void down into the grave by his, uh, you know...

[AndyC]

Just a question. When watching a scene in which some guy gets his naughty bits mangled, does anyone else experience a slight sense of relief when the character is killed immediately, like you're glad he won't suffer?

[Steve.]

I experience a slight sense of relief that it isn't me. Being the humanitarian that I am, I do sympathise with anyone who suffers damage to their unmentionables (on a family message-board, anyway).