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March 26, 2019, 01:58:51 AM
618330 Posts in 47773 Topics by 6407 Members
Latest Member: Sharonasype Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  OT - Good fences make good neighbors « previous next »
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Author Topic: OT - Good fences make good neighbors  (Read 6653 times)
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2004, 09:01:13 PM »

Tell him to get a real hobby.  Honestly with his attitude he reminds me alot of my supervisor...which I ignore. Just to spite him you should paint your house pink

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« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2004, 03:52:06 AM »

Hell yeah Burgo!

Fred Willard is a perfect choice!
(he played Michelle''s dad in American Wedding)
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« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2004, 11:21:39 AM »

I'd be careful about this part, it could be perceived as a threat.

Eirik wrote:

>   I must also add that any
> attempt by any neighbor to handle the squirrel problem for us
> will be met with strong resistance from my son who received a
> beebee gun for Christmas.
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« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2004, 01:15:58 PM »

Good letter. It's polite, but with just enough mocking to p**s him off. Personally, I would not have given in on anything, but that's just me.

I'm inclined to think that Bill doesn't understand the nuances of property values much more than your kids. I doubt you'd gain enough from the landscaping to make back the cost of doing it. And unless your place currently looks like Sanford and Son's, I can't see any improvement bringing up values throughout the neighbourhood by any significant amount. This guy is full of baloney.

Forgive me if I seem especially annoyed. I've covered lots of municipal council meetings where selfish, ignorant people have tried to control what others do, for the sake of property values. Whether somebody wants to build affordable housing in a nice part of town, build a pool on his own property, operate a home for the handicapped or run a small home business, the a***oles will be out in full force to defend their "property values" even though the planners and consultants can give a dozen reasons why there will be no significant effect. The arguments from these people usually don't support a lowering of property values so much as they reveal a lot of prejudice and snobbery. It's really disgusting.

On a lighter note, does anybody watch Gilmore Girls? This neighbour of Eirik's reminds me so much of Taylor, it's unbelievable.

Post Edited (01-14-04 12:27)

"Join me in the abyss of savings."
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« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2004, 03:23:35 PM »

Uh... I'd be REAL careful how you treat that guy.

Did you ever see the episode of the X-Files about the "perfect neighborhood?" The neighbors were REAL hard on new people to keep their lawns and houses in perfect condition, because the leader of the community had summoned a trash monster to go kill anybody who's house wasn't perfect after dark.

So.... I'd just be careful how you handle the situation.

As for the Squirrils, wouldn't it be funny if you tried feeding them toxic waste, only to make them grow into huge monsters that barfed and crapped all over the neighborhood, like in "Class of Nuke 'em High, part 2?"  That'd teach him.... ^_____________^


"Cotton candy is made from people!"
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2004, 05:18:41 PM »

Erik -- Your answer was masterful but probably waaayy too subtle for this asshat.  Please let us know if there's any follow-up.
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2004, 11:04:19 PM »

Humor is wasted on some people (you were exactly right, Bernie).  Here's what he wrote back, my comments in brackets:

Mr. [witholding my last name]:
It is with some shock and disapointment that I read your letter [sic - it was an e-mail] of yesterday, January the 13th.  Disappointment because you do not seem interested in being a part of our community here in [neighborhood witheld].  We have a fine community of friends who look out for each other and you are not interested in this.  But most of all shock that you and your wife allow your children to dictate your homeowning decisions.  In my house, my daughter knows who is the boss and does not question my decisions.  It is also very disturbing to learn that your 5 year old son owns a "beebee gun."  I wonder if CPS [that's Virginia's Child Protective Services] would be interested to know about this?  [I hope he reports me because I made that s**t about a beebee gun up]  The [neighborood witheld] Neighborhood Association sincerely hopes that your family reconsders its planned course of inaction ["course of INACTION!"  oooh, he zinged us!].  
Sincerely, [I bet]
William [witholding last name, and I guess I can't call him Bill anymore]
p.s.  A squirrel got inside the roof of our sun room last year and ate through the ceiling!

So did everyone catch the threat about CPS followed up by his hopes that we reconsider?  Who the hell does this guy think he is?  Boss Tweed?  While his threat is as empty as threats can get, it did set me off.  I fired this back to him:

My children have directed me to abandon any correspondence concerning the beautification project.  Furthermore, they have threatened to take away my internet priveleges should I continue to contact you, so this will be my last message.  My son has projected the cost of our dish relocation study and found it to be prohibitive.  I am sorry, but the dish stays where it is.  [my daughter] is indicating to me that it is past my bed time.  Gotta go!
ps- Why is it you think the squirrels launched that attack on your home?  They seem to like everyone else.

All future e-mails, phone calls, neighborhood association invitations, and doorbell ringings by Bill will be ignored.
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« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2004, 11:30:05 PM »

>He tells us that eliminating the squirrel problem could prevent future damage to
>EVERYONE's property (i.e. he wants me to get an exterminator). He offered

We live in the suburbs and at any given moment, you can look out the window and see a squirrel running across the fence, climbing a tree or just exploring the yard. I don't think anyone in the enighborhood has ever suffered any damage because of them. The worse they do is dig holes in the yard.

>He also noted that "if you HAVE TO have Christmas lights on your home, white
>lights are less disruptive to the look of the neighborhood than colored lights."
>(We had colored lights).

Good for you! I hate white Christmas lights, there's nothing decorative about them! Whenever I see those plain white lights I always have the urge to sneak back at night and paint them different colors.

>I feel you must check out a book I never did get to finish called "The

Sounds like the USA movie The Colony. John Ritter and his family move into a gated community and find out there are too many rules (workers pull up his wife's garden because she planted the wrong kind of plants, the dog has his vocal cord severed to stop his barking etc).

If you're in the mood to do more than just ignore him, a couple gallons of bleach should do wonders for his yard. :>
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« Reply #23 on: January 15, 2004, 01:15:04 AM »

What a f**king pompus prick that guy is.I can't believe he actually threatned you.What a dick.
But that was a great response you sent back to him Eirik.


Smells like popcorn and shame
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« Reply #24 on: January 15, 2004, 05:34:34 AM »

This guy is the lowest common denominator.

A goody two shoe who does more harm than good whilst all the while thinking that he is right.
With great clarity I imagine the negative discussions about you and your family that he and his wife have had at the dinner table or while lying in bed together, each with a magazine or book in their hands with the light still on.
Letterman or Leno was probably on their bedroom TV while they were talking about you.
Assuming that a woman has ACTUALLY accepted him as her husband of course!

But the truth is that he is NOT right.
I've had dealings with his type before and there is no real easy way to handle him.
According to him, HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT.  
That's how he sees it.
Tolerance of him is your only choice.
Believe me when I say that you've made an enemy here. (him I mean)
This guy hates everything you represent which from your writing I take to be middle-class working people with children who are somewhat relaxed in your methods of raising your kids. (that is the conclusion I drew from your text...I may be wrong)
What I DO know even without ever meeting you or your wife is that you both know that you're good parents and you'll do how you please and damn him if he doesn't like it.
Am I right?

I look down on ANY man who would even dare make threats that he would call DHS.
Any man who would threaten to upset the balance of and possibly destroy a family even in jest is an insect that deserves to be stepped on....plain & simple.

Even if his assumption was based upon your lie, I believe he seriously took it to be true out of simple ignorance.
(I do not discredit you for that falsehood Eirik...I would've probably made up something like that myself...Hehe!...and who gives a 5 year old a BB gun anyway!?...I have no children and even I know better than that!)

You're dealing with scum...a vile person who thinks he's in the right.
He is arrogant and has illusions of grandeur.
And all in the name of the neighborhood association!
If he lived in old times I'd bet that he'd be in charge of a drumhead trial or a witchhunt!

He obviously has psychological problems if he has made it his hobby or directive to make the best community possible.
While that may be a good thing if done right and by the right person, this man however has taken your words very personally and has issued a threat to involve representatives from DHS to hurt you and your family which to me, indicate a total disregard for you or your family's well being.
It is his method of reprisal which you cannot deny is attempting to hit you below the belt...even if it is an empty threat.

He is a snake in the grass.
His needs to be community leader and to make a sort of utopian society within the 1/2 mile radius that he lives in has spiraled into OBSESSION.
Why else would he organize a "community meeting" and spout out directions and orders to his fellow members?
This man NEEDS to have control.
Your e-mail back to him has upset that.
He is angry that he cannot control you or members of your family.
(Yes I watch too much Dr.Phil)

I urge you to be vigilant and consider yourself ABOVE him.
I know I would!
Also congrats to you for sending him that e-mail which basically tells him to f**k off!!

If all else fails we'll send Wyckednick over to CHOKE SLAM HIS ASS!!!

Post Edited (01-15-04 07:55)
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« Reply #25 on: January 15, 2004, 09:37:11 AM »

This is by far one of the funniest posts I have ever read.

Eirik your response to Bill's email was absolutely amazing.  I applaud your smartass skills!


"The greatest medicine in the world is human laughter. And the worst medicine is zombie laughter." -- Jack Handey

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« Reply #26 on: January 15, 2004, 10:56:54 AM »

There are few things I hate more than pompous self-righteous for-your-own-good more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger passive-aggressive types (my mother-in-law is one so I know of what I speak).  

As we discussed before, Erik, subtlety, humor, logic, all is lost on them.  All they understand is a very simplistic black or white, with me or against me mindset.  Hopefully it will just stop here.  But if it doesn't, you will probably have to make it clear that if he DARES to try to interfere with your family in any way, you will take any and all legal actions open to you (i.e., suing for slander, harrassment, etc.).

OR you could just invite him over for a friendly night of movies, and show him Larry Buchanan films until his head explodes!  ;- )
« Reply #27 on: January 15, 2004, 11:17:31 AM »

Thanks Bernie.  To be honest, I'm not the slightest bit worried about this sock puppet.  Since we don't live in a condo association or chartered community situation, the guy has zero power to compel me to do anything as long as the maintenance of my yard is in compliance with the law (which it always has been and always will be).  The worst he can do is talk me down to all the other neighbors whose opinions I don't care about either...  and if he does that, I suspect their reactions to this will be similar to the people on this site.
« Reply #28 on: January 15, 2004, 12:22:47 PM »

I didn't catch if this yo-yo is an elected "official".  If so, I would encourage you or your wife to run against him in the next election.  Better yet, run your son against him if there is no age restriction.
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« Reply #29 on: January 15, 2004, 02:59:48 PM »

(ASHTHECAT's speech) YAAAAA! Bravo speech sir! Bravo! I'd keep it simple I'd just tell that control prick to p**s off (do it with an english accent that really p**s off people that hate you.)

"p**s OFF! You control prick! My goodness it's time fore a spot o tea. Good day to you sir and p**s OFF!"

(Please accept my apologies if I have offended anyone from the U.K.)


Now it's time to sing the nation anthem IN AMERICA!!!

Bandit Keith from Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series (episode 12)
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