OT: No more alcohol for me

[wickednick]

As I right this topic I am still recovering from my friends birthday party were I drank WAY to much.Im not much of a drinker and until a few months ago I did not drink at all, but of course my friends eventually pressured me into it.Tonight I got pretty drunk, bout half a bottle of Captin Morgans and a couple of cherrys soaked in 151.Now of course it was my friends birthday party and the night of the Royal Rumble (Which totally kicked ass. WHAHO GO BENOITE) and because I don't regularly drink much in the first place I decided that for my friends birthday I would drink with him.
I was feeling pretty good for a while but then I started feeling sicker than hell, which led to me being passed out on my friends floor.After about an hour I woke up feeling worse than I ever, even compared to my worst case's of food poisoning, and ran to the bath room were I threw up all over the walls and my self.
I had to have my friend drive me home, which made me feel terrible because I felt helpless and stupid for drinking that much. But the kicker is that just before we left his apartment we got a call from anouther one of my friends, girlfriend who told us that he had just passed out behind the wheel of the car, while she and his baby son were passangers in the car.She had called up my friend so he could pick them up.
Now my friend  that passed out behind the wheel of his car, is not unfamilar with this experince.About two weeks ago he almost died because of alcohol poisoning.Luckly one of my friends is a EMT and nursed him back to health.
After all of the dramas that I have seen played out over my friends getting s**t faced drunk and those who are sober trying to keep them alive and worrying if they would get trough the night, I have decided once and for all to say f**k ALCOHOL.
Sure it can make you feel good, but its way to easy to go overboard and get sicker than hell.I never want to experince what happened to me tonight again.I have never felt so terrible in my life and I have been pretty sick because of food poisoning and a severe reaction to certin medications.
Honestly I don't see whats so good about getting drunk.You wake up with a hangover, you have a good chance of throwing up, you pass out and don't remeber what you did the night before, and because your judgement becomes so impared you can't think rationally and get behind the wheel and end up into aciddents.And what for? A couple of hours of lowered inhabition and a false joy brought on because the alcohol is slowing the functions of your brain to the point of mental retardation.
Of course there is a certin level of responsibility involved with alchohol consumption, but because of the side effects of achohol that responsibility can easly be forgoten.
Thats all I have to say, sorry if I have seemed to go on a rant, but what I have experinced in the last couple of weeks is now boiling over in anger.

[Ash]

Hey Nick dude, more power to you for seeing a truth that many people aren't able to.

I do consider myself an alcoholic...and have for some time now.

I am a beer drinker....NO hard stuff for me...YUCK!

I was a moderate drinker until I got fired from my old job last April.
While on unemployment benefits, I started drinking more each night because, well let's face it, I live in Iowa where there's almost nothing to do, and I wasn't working.

Then came July 12th 2003.
The day my brother died in that motorcycle accident.
Since that day my depression has deepened and my beer drinking has skyrocketed.
I would estimate that since July 12th, I've gone a total of about a month without drinking.
Meaning I've drank every night since then minus about 30 days or so.
That's a lot of f**kin' beer and money.
That's about 5 months of drinking every night...and I drink at least 6 to 12 beers a night.
The other day I think it was Deej who said on here, , "Ash I think you're losin' it!".
Maybe I have to some extent but the good thing out of all this is that I RECOGNIZE that I have a problem.
You must admit that I have gone through a lot of s**t within the past year but that is no excuse...which I DO admit.
I know what to do about my predicament and what actions need to be taken but right now at this exact point I'm not ready to take action and I don't know why.

Stephen King, my personal mentor who had his own bout with alcoholism in the late 70's & early 80's stated in his "On Writing" book that, "Trying to tell an alcoholic to control his drinking is like trying to tell a person with the world's most cataclysmic case of diarhea to control his s**tting."
Like King, I see all those "dead soldiers" (empty beer cans) sitting in my kitchen as a reminder to me everyday and I'm not proud.

My paternal grandfather died when I was a baby of chirrosis of the liver from drinking his entire life and to this day my mother constantly tells me, "You know that runs in the family...do you want to end up like your Grandpa Weldon?"

I do feel that the urge is in my DNA and that I'm most definitely predispositioned to drink.

The saddest fact is that all of this drinking I do is done alone.....
I do have friends but they don't see me drink behind my closed door except for a select few who are also alcoholics.  
I have spoken to them about this as well and they are even more worse off than I...they do not think that they have a problem when I can see that they do so clearly like I do myself.
To me, they are in the early stages where denial rules with an iron fist.
Other than them and a few friends who do not drink, I have no one...only the beer and my thoughts to keep me company right now.

And you guys.
That's probably why I write so much on here.  My mind is so creative with new ideas and I love to write so much that....well I don't know.
I love to see my words in print and it's an outlet for me.
Hopefully now some of you can see why I've become irrational now and then on here.
Would you believe that at least 90% of what I've written here on this board has occured while I've been drinking in the last year or so?
Many of the threads that I've wrote that p**sed you all off were written when I was hammered out of my mind....then I wake up the next day and regret what I wrote.
It's a sorry thing to be able to write well and to be able to control that but when it comes to those beers calling me from the refrigerator, I seem powerless to stop them.

I feel that a GOOD job that I love to do is the only thing that will break me out of this vicious cycle that I'm now embroiled in.

Until then....I continue the battle.



Post Edited (01-26-04 05:25)

[ashcampbell]

i think i speak for everyone on this board when i say that you have my support if you need it fellow ash.

"To the workshead........Groovy"

[Eirik]

"Would you believe that at least 90% of what I've written here on this board has occured while I've been drinking in the last year or so?"

To be perfectly honest with you ASHTHECAT, yes I would.

Listen, I have some personal experience with alchoholics and my observations are these:

1)  You realize you have a problem - that's good.
2)  You can pinpoint two events in your life that triggered the problem (getting fired and your brother - forget genetics, it's an excuse not a reason) - that's very good.
3)  You don't seem so interested in getting better - that's bad.

A great job isn't going to make you kick drinking because until you kick it, you're not going to land such a job.  You need to get help and you need to get it now - either AA or a professional or rehab or someone else who has training and experience.  I've seen alchoholics try to get better without help.  I've never seen one succeed.

These are just my opinions for what they're worth.  Good luck with your problem.

[Neon Noodle]

>ASHTHECAT said:
>
>I feel that a GOOD job that I love to do is the only thing that will break me out of >this vicious cycle that I'm now embroiled in.

ASH - speaking from personal experience, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Seven and 7's became my only friend after my sister died, and I have had 3 jobs in the last 2 years. I know how hard it was to admit I needed help. I finally got myself on medication and things are starting to get better.  I used to say that if I don't contribute to the world around me through a good job, my life is worthless.

This is not true for several reasons - I have a wife and daughter that I love dearly. I have a support network of friends that genuinely want to see me get better. Just remember ASH, your job doesn't make you who you are.

I have started doing a few other things to better my moods - for as cliche as it sounds, giving blood is a wonderful thing for me to do. Only 5% of people who can give blood do, and the Red Cross usually sends me a card saying that my blood is used for accident victims and so forth. Maybe this could help you on the road to feeling better.

I occasionally check my Yahoo messenger - name of NeonNoodler. Let me know if you need any help. Good Luck.

[The Burgomaster]

I've done plenty of drinking in my life, but I can honestly say that I have never had a hangover.  Even on nights when I drank enough to make me throw up, I was still functional the next morning.

I think my keys to success are the following:

* After a night of drinking, I always eat before I go to sleep (something bready or doughy, like pancakes or pizza).  Nothing will induce a hangover more than sleeping with a stomach full of liquor and no food.

* I always drink an Alka Seltzer before I go to sleep.  If you wait until you feel sick, it's too late.  You have to drink one BEFORE you get sick.

* I avoid drinking things that I suspect will make me sick.  For instance, I can drink things like beer, scotch, and sambuca all night with no ill effects.  I suspect that if I tried to do the same with something like tequila or gin, I probably wouldn't last as long.

On the other hand, I have seen some people get knocked off their feet for a day or two by drinking too much.  I might consider quitting if I ever got to that point, but it hasn't happened yet.

I once quit drinking for 5 months . . . I didn't even have a sip of beer.  But I don't think I could (or would want to) quit forever.

[FearlessFreep]

I do a little bit of drinking:

I'll drink a beer while  watching sporting events: football or baseball.  Usually one beer per game but occasionally two, but never more than three over back to back games. This is not a rule I have for myself, just my desire for drinking beer is pretty low.

I'll drink a bit when I go out to listen to musc.   And I really mean 'a bit'. I love listening to Jazz, especially live, and when I'm out to listen to Jazz, I'm there to listen to the music, not drink.  You can't really enjoy it unless you're clear headed.

I'll drink a bit when watching a bad movie, sometimes, in my house late at night

I always eat before I go to sleep (something bready or doughy, like pancakes or pizza). Nothing will induce a hangover more than sleeping with a stomach full of liquor and no food.

Conversely, I've found it also better to eat some food before you start drinking, or while you're drinking

[Ash]

I thought this was funny.....

"You know you're drunk when you're in a cab and you think the fare is the time."

Hehe!

[Susan]

>>"You know you're drunk when you're in a cab and you think the fare is the time."<<

I forgot which comedian said it back in the 80's, maybe carlin

"you know you're drunk when you get down on your knee's and hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth"

[Mr_Vindictive]

Nick,

Night before wedding.

5th-Bacardi Lemon

30 mins

Empty Bottle

No memories of night.......................................

[ulthar]

If you want to quit drinking, go for it.  I completely quit drinking about 5 years ago for reasons similar to what you describe; not so much the hangover, but I decided that I just really did not like feeling 'tipsy' or drunk anymore.  Add to that some possible health considerations, and the decision was not too hard.

I think our society is 'alcoholic' in some ways: I have been to very, very few social functions that did not involve some rather heavy drinking.  It is sometimes unbelievable for me how much pressure there is to drink.   Sometimes I just want to scream "COME ON, WHAT'S IT TO YOU IF I DON'T WANT TO DRINK???"

I was at a Halloween party about 12 years ago (I was a heavy drinker then) as designated driver for some friends.  I decided that as designated driver, I would not drink one single drink, however much earlier than the time to leave.  I got so much pressure from so many people, it really, really bugged me at the time.  Most of the people at the part were late twenties or older 'adults,' many 'professionals' and such, and it really p**sed me off how they reacted to my decision.  I had a miserable time and (for other reasons) had a falling out with those friends.  Heck, maybe it was not for other reasons, who knows?

My own family has done it to me, too.  We have gotten together for holidays and they will offer me a beer, which I decline.  Then I get 15 minutes of "it's just one beer, you sure you don't want one?"

Truthfully, it is this kind of pressure that has kept me from taking a beer or my favorite Rum once in a while-the rebel in me, to just SHOW them that NO, I DON'T WANT A DRINK.

Now, I don't care to be around people drinking.  My wife and I go to functions with her work colleagues sometimes (formal banquets, less formal dinners, etc), and when you are not drinking, you become acutely aware of how obnoxious a lot of folks drinking really are.  I shudder to think how I acted in times past.  ;)

[Brother Ragnarok]

Something that surprises a lot of people, I don't drink except maybe a glass of wine or something here and there,  and I've never been drunk.  The idea of waking up in a puddle of my own vomit with a migraine has never sounded appealing to me.  Plus, I've seen the f**ked up s**t alcohol can make people do, and no way in hell will I ever put myself in that position.
As for the cab fare joke, that's Dane Cook.

Brother R

[Velvet Brotha]

Good choice Wyked... I quit drinking at the ripe old age of 21. I started drinking when I was about 16 and my stomach hasn't been the same since. No more dairy products, no more spicy foods, no more Orange juice!!! It sucks man, and if you wanna be like me, keep drinki'n. ; )

[Eirik]

"I quit drinking at the ripe old age of 21."

That strikes me as really really ironic.

[jmc]

I've drank for years and have never had a real problem with it...only gotten sick maybe four or five times, mainly when I was younger.  I usually just have a few drinks or beers or whatever and then stop.  I enjoy being tipsy sometimes but that's as far as I care to go.