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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  one very bad movie I'm surprised is not reviewed here « previous next »
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Author Topic: one very bad movie I'm surprised is not reviewed here  (Read 1393 times)
WyreWizard
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« on: March 05, 2004, 08:40:36 PM »

I have had the displeasure of losing money at the theaters while watching a particularly bad film (example:  Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, DareDevil, Gloria, Good Fellas, Pitch Black and My Blue Heaven)  But there is one movie I think is so terrible, that just thinking about it just gives me the chills (and you can imagine the courage I had to get together to write about.  And that movie is none other than Mars Attacks.
Why is this movie so bad?  Is there anything good about it?  If there is, I didn't see it.  But to answer the former, I would have to give some detail.
First off, I know this film is a spoof.  But nothing about it is even remotely funny.  I admit I have a nasty habit of shaking my head whenever I see a scientific flaw in a film.  But this film had so many of them, that I was popping an advil for 2 weeks afterwards.  I will show you a few of the scientific flaws about this film.

The first is very obvious.  THERE IS NO LIFE ON MARS!

Another is the aliens.  I mean, these are perhaps the most ghoulish aliens I have ever seen.  Anyone agree?  Well one thing about them their language (or lack of one.)  All they say is "Ack."  I mean c'mon.  One word does not make up a language.  A language consists of hundreds of words, syntax, structure, sentences,
nouns, verbs, etc.  What these aliens speak does not have any of these.

Another thing about these aliens is their biology.  They apparently breathe and atmosphere that is very nitrigen-rich.  HELLO!  Mars' atmosphere is mostly carbon dioxide and methane!  There isn't enough nitrogen there to support a nitrogen-based ecology.  Earth's atmosphere is 70% nitrogen.  Why couldn't they breathe it safely?  They showed one of them surviving Earth's atmosphere by chewing a piece of gum!  Gum?  If we needed to chew a piece of gum to survive going through a lethal gas, we would need to chew a piece of gum bigger than our bodies!

But the biggest scientific flaw I've seen in this movie is how they ultimately defeat these aliens.  By playing a certain Wayne Newton (?) song.  I mean, it wasn't played at a superloud volume or anything.  But somehow, this very song is lethal not only to their biology, but also destructive to their technology.  Is it possible for sound to kill a person?  Yes, but it has to be played at a superloud volume (more than 7,500 decibels)  In the right conditions, a sound at the right volume can shatter eardrums and cause fatal internal bleeding.

Well, that's about all I can stand to write about.  I must stop now because I am beginning to feel very nauseated!

-WyreWizard
« Last Edit: December 20, 2009, 06:10:15 PM by WyreWizard » Logged

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Ash
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« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2004, 09:12:47 PM »

You said,
"I have had the displeasure of losing movie at the theaters while watching a particularly bad film"

Ummm...

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?



Post Edited (03-05-04 20:35)
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JohnL
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« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2004, 09:34:03 PM »

>The first is very obvious. THERE IS NO LIFE ON MARS!

No, we just haven't found it yet, because the martians live underground! :)

>All they say is "Ack." I mean c'mon. One word does not make up a language.

Maybe their language is like morse code, where the speed and number of "ack"s indicates which word they mean or maybe even an entire sentence.

>If we needed to chew a piece of gum to survive going through a lethal gas, we
>would need to chew a piece of gum bigger than our bodies!

Their biology is obviously much more efficient than ours, so they need less.

>Is it possible for sound to kill a person? Yes, but it has to be played at a
>superloud volume

Glasses can shatter with sound at the right pitch, it doesn't necessarily have to be loud enough to shatter someone's eardrum. Maybe the alien's bones are brittle, like glass.
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WyreWizard
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« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2004, 10:22:01 PM »

A typo on my part.  I meant to say money, not movie

-WyreWizard
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ulthar
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« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2004, 11:15:14 PM »

My wife and I like Mars Attacks.  Thought it was fun.  Haven't yet, but are planning to add to our dvd collection.

In keeping with my earlier posts on everybody liking the same movie, I'll start with the disclaimer that you can dislike Mars Attacks all you want...I am not offended.  :)

However, having said that, I do want to mention that you seem to forget that Mars Attacks is science FICTION.  So they took poetic license with some details.  I find that annoying sometimes in movies, but Mars Attacks was, to me at least, fun.  Perhaps not the greatest movie, but fun to watch.

"We want to be your friend" .....  BLAST

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Vermin Boy
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« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2004, 12:22:39 AM »

Now, come on-- can you honestly say that Slim Whitman doesn't make *your* head explode? :)

I will confess to having a huge soft spot for Mars Attacks. I look at it as the evil twin of Independence Day-- Both were released around the same time, and have basically the same plot, but Mars Attacks completely deflates ID4's seriousness. One of the few Gonzo Blockbusters!

Also, I just realized that Billy Glen, the dumb redneck kid who gets zapped holding an American flag, is a pre-stardom Jack Black!

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Ash
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« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2004, 01:57:32 AM »

I loved Mars Attacks!

Saw it in the theater when it was released and laughed my ass off.

My favorite part is when the flying saucer is flying from side to side trying to get the Washington Monument to fall on those people.

Great stuff!

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Mr_Vindictive
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« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2004, 09:09:08 AM »

Mars Attacks is quite obviously a SPOOF of 50's SciFi horror.  Wizard, try not to take the film so seriously and you'll see the pure oozing genius behind it.

As for Goodfellas being a bad film.......I'm going to have to vehemently disagree about that one.  By far one of my top 3 films!

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Yaddo42
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« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2004, 10:57:34 AM »

I agree with the other posters. Everyone involved in the film was very overt in pointing out that the film was meant to be a parody of the old alien invasion paranoia films from the 50s and early 60s. The Washington Monument scene was the most overt spoof, of the well-known "Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers".

As for the dodgy science and logic, the kind of movies this film was poking fun of had the same improbable technology straight out of old pulp magazine stories and comic books. In fact, Tim Burton's oroiginal inspiration for making the film (and much of the look of the aliens and their technology) in the first place was a short-lived "notorious" alien invasion trading card set from the early 60s.

I wasn't even that big of a fan of the movie, but the accidental discovery of Slim Whitman being the aliens' Achilles' heel was very funny and fitting with many movies and TV shows of the time. There's even an old "Twilight Zone" episode where Andy Devine (I think) escapes alien abduction by playing his harmonica.I just wish the rest of the film had been as much fun as that part.
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Flangepart
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« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2004, 01:10:38 PM »

"If you wonder how he eats and breathes, and other science facts..."

Its was a parody! A take on those gross old tradeing cards. Perfect Burton fodder.
BTW, Ash, the saucer was dropping the monument...on a bunch of Boy Scouts! Somehow, that made it funnier.
Jack Nicolson as the prez and the drunk....the man was funny! Logic goes out the window in flicks like this. As well it should.
Next someones gonna complain about the science in Top Secret!
"Latreeeeeine!"

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pepak
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« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2004, 05:04:08 PM »

I didn't see the movie, but one thing that's good about it is the music. Crazy, yes, just like most other Elfman's scores of the time, but good nonetheless.

Pepak
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Max Gardner
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« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2004, 12:51:55 PM »

I think Burton threw science and logic to the wind here, as might be expected from a parody of unscientific, illogical and relentlessly gory trading cards.  Mars Attacks! remains one of the most violent, meanspirited films I have ever seen, and as such I can't help but like it, even if the jokes often fall flat.
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Lee
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« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2004, 09:25:10 PM »

This movie kicks ass! All star cast, cartoony cgi, constant weirdness, how can you hate this movie. If it was overly stupid, yeah I could understand not liking it but this movie is DAMN funny.

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Bargle5
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« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2004, 11:22:08 PM »

Folks, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think WyreWizard's original post is meant to be a joke and y'all are the ones not getting it. If I'm wrong, so be it.

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JohnL
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« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2004, 12:45:54 AM »

I love the scene at the beginning with the herd of flaming cows. I think that would have fit well in a more serious movie.
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