Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
December 10, 2018, 04:00:01 AM
611463 Posts in 47205 Topics by 6295 Members
Latest Member: WendiWhiti Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Firewalker (1986) « previous next »
Pages: [1]
Author Topic: Firewalker (1986)  (Read 2141 times)
« on: March 08, 2001, 07:45:54 PM »

Chuck Norris, Lou Gossett Jr., and Melody Anderson go hunting for treasure in Latin America, much non-merriment and non-excitement is had by all in this 'action/comedy'.  This was 'directed' (and this term is used oh so loosely) by J Lee Thompson, the man behind Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, and The Guns of Naverone.  Oh yeah, he directed a whole lot of cinematic sludge for Cannon in its oh so brief life as a 'major independent' producer/distributor (1985-87 more or - much - less) and this is the worst of it.  The movie really looks like he channeled the spirit of William 'one shot' Beaudine and just set up the camera and then only made sure the actors said their lines without flubbing them.  I mean this movie has a huge amount of technical snafus in it (just read the review over at Jabootu to see the biggest problems), the most interesting is that Sonny Ladham's eye patch kept movie from one eye to the other from scene to scene.

Side bar - this movie is rated PG, so I watched it with my son.  Whenever Norris and company appear in the act of transit (riding on horses, climbing mountains, driving cars, whatever) my son asked "Where are they going?"  Quickly this grew insanely tiresome and, fatigued with saying "They're looking for the treasure" over and over I simply began sighing "Nowhere son, they're going nowhere."

Nonetheless Cannon was my favorite studio, they put out such a great deal of lovable crap that is near and dear to my heart (most of it seems to star either Chuck Norris or Charles Bronson)
Here is a small list of their movies, see if you can find a legitmate good movie in the bunch -

Invaders from Mars
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Death Wish III
Death Wish IV: The Crackdown
Missing in Action
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning
Braddock: Missing in Action III  (BRADDOCK!!!)
52 Pick-up
Messenger of Death
Invasion U.S.A  (It's time to DIE)
Platoon Leader
Murphy's Law
10 to Midnight
The Delta Force
Alan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (Chamberlin and Stone!)
King Solomon's Mines (Chamberlin and Stone)
The Hero and the Terror
Ninja 3: The Domination
Down Twisted
Dangerously Close
American Ninja
American Ninja 2
American Ninja 3 (w/Marjoe Gortner as the bad guy!)
American Ninja 4
Hannah's War

there was also a Most Dangerous Gamesque movie that starred Michael Dudikoff, Steve James (R.I.P. friend), and John P. Ryan but the name escapes me.

And now Menacham Golan is forming New Cannon!  Alright BRING 'EM ON!
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2001, 02:20:21 AM »

That Michael Dudikoff movie you're thinking of is AVENGING FORCE.
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2001, 02:08:11 PM »

I KNEW the title was something similiar to American Ninja.  Avenging Force, great fire gag with James in that one.  Too bad Steve James was the Designated Worm Food Hero's Black Buddy Guy - a fate he befell in Hero and the Terror as well.

side bar spoiler:

Steve James was a little put off at how his character in Avenging Force was handled and dispatched.  He told my best friend during an iterview that he felt that having a white man avenge the slaughter of his black friend's entire family was just wrong.  He thought the movie would have been better if his character had lived and he and Dudikoff would have gone after the baddies together rather than just having the White Guy Hero doing the work the powerless minority seemed incapable of.  It was something that grated on him.
Pages: [1] Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Firewalker (1986) « previous next »
    Jump to:  

    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email

    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.