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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Is this a suggestion box? Can I drop a movie into it? (Warning: stink bomb!) « previous next »
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Author Topic: Is this a suggestion box? Can I drop a movie into it? (Warning: stink bomb!)  (Read 1295 times)
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« on: May 14, 2004, 02:49:05 PM »

I love this site! The worse the movie being reviewed is, the funnier the review. I hope you'll continue to gag and wretch your way through many more reviews. (It's always fun hearing you articulate just how bad a given movie is--kind of a Rodney Dangerfield thing.)

Anyway, I've watched a few really bad flicks myself and had a lot of fun mocking them, but I've noticed that of the three that come immediately to mind for me, only one is reviewed on this site: Crash and Burn. (Liked the bit about  RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DISPLAY CASE! by the way. What's really funny about that scene is it comes right after the RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! That is one blatantly B-movie sequence: "Okay, I've bedded the girl; now it's time to go get the gun.")

The other two are the Guyver, which your associate over at Cold Fusion has reviewed (but I'm still eager to see your take on it, what "lessons" it taught you, etc.) and a really rotten piece of trash, Red-Blooded American Girl. (A single slimer, most likely, maybe even worth a skull. I mean, this movie is torture to watch; one GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! after another, and a plot thinner than an average porn film. Granted, the girl's rather easy on the eyes, but really, this film sucks! It even says something about being "an exotic film" right on the cover.)

I'm eager to get rid of the latter, so I'm wondering if I should toss this dead skunk into your back yard. Would you mind if I mailed it to you? If you don't want it, sooner or later I'm going to toss it in my own burning barrel, but since these B-movie reviews are your thing, I figured maybe I should let you have a whack at it. I wouldn't blame you if you threw it into your own burning barrel once you'd gotten done with it.

Interested?
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Haze
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2004, 01:19:29 PM »

Referring to your title, the last I remember, you could make suggestions but it didn't mean anything would be done with it. I haven't around in a while, so this could have changed.

The Guyver movies were great, have both of them and enjoy them thuroughly. Crash and Burn sounds familiar, what was it about? The other ones don't ring a bell.
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Writer
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« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2004, 02:01:37 AM »

Well, I just figured a bad movies site might be interested in a video tape I'm thinking to give away for free. Red-Blooded American Girl is a real stinker of a film, and I want to see how much someone can rip it in a review.

There's a review for Crash and Burn on this site, so if you want to know more about it, check that out for some background. From having seen it myself, what I can say is, it's kind of a cross between a dystopia and post-apocalypse scenario with global warming supposedly having turned most of the planet into a desert.  Most of the movie is set in an old power company that's been converted into a TV station, where a bunch of people end up holed up together during a thermal storm. There are androids among them, and these androids end up having their moral restraint programs (which keep them from killing people) destroyed by the "Crash and Burn" virus so that they go around killing people. In other words, this movie's sort of what Blade Runner and the Terminator movies would be like if they had no budget.

The movie is not only hilariously bad itself, but comes with commercials for Full Moon (the studio which made it) and a line of cheesy Full Moon products as well. When I was in college, my roommate and I laughed ourselves silly doing our private MST3K impressions of it. Something I did say at the time, though, was that its no-name actors were actually rather good-looking and the film could have been quite respectable if it'd had better dialogue. (In fact, the best way to improve it would simply have been to cut out most of the dialogue altogether.)

Basically, it's good old predictable schlock: everybody who survives to the end (er, that is to say, the happy couple) drives off through the wasteland, presumably to live happily ever after in a shelter somewhere else. The end.
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Andrew
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« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2004, 02:11:56 AM »

Thank you for the offer.  I do love collecting movies, but have to honestly say I have no idea when I would be able to review the film.  Heck, if I am sent to Iraq it could be a year or more.  Things have been plenty slow (for posting reviews) anyway - and I have been in country for 5 months out of the last 6.

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Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org
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« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2004, 03:44:44 PM »

Can't review it right away? Not a problem. I've noticed your section for reader reviews, so I may just review it myself before I send it to you.
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