"Top Ten" Robots

[onionhead]

AOL posts this list of all-time favorite robots, in response to the release of I, Robot:
No. 10 The Fembots

 FROM ''Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery'' (1997)
PLAYED BY Cindy Margolis of Internet-download fame (foreground), plus a bevy of unknowns (Cheryl Bartel, Donna W. Scott, Barbara Ann Moore, and Cynthia Lamontagne)
PROGRAMMING These swingin' synthetic sirens, done up like bedroom Barbies, are designed by Dr. Evil to lure Austin Powers to his doom.
SPECIAL FEATURES Each of the fembot fatales has, as Austin calls them, ''machine-gun jubblies.'' Oh, naughty!
MEMORABLE MOMENT Austin short-circuits the fembots, sending their heads spinning with nothing more than his hairy-chested mojo.
WHY THEY PUSH OUR BUTTONS Actually, the existence of these lethally sexy androids explains a lot, especially in ''Austin Powers in Goldmember,'' which reveals that Britney Spears is a fembot too.
EW MOVIE GRADE B
 
No. 9 Robby
FROM ''Forbidden Planet'' (1956)
PLAYED BY Designer Robert Kinos**ta's creation Robby the Robot, which went on to appear in a handful of other movies and TV shows
PROGRAMMING In this sci-fi version of Shakespeare's ''The Tempest,'' Robby is the Ariel figure, at the beck and call of solitary Morbius (Walter Pidgeon) and his daughter Altaira (Anne Francis, pictured).
SPECIAL FEATURES Though he looks like a jukebox (especially the way his parts awaken and twirl when someone asks him to do something), he's a skilled butler, capable of making dresses for Altaira or synthesizing gallons of whiskey.
MEMORABLE LINE ''I rarely use [oxygen] myself, sir. It promotes rust.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS Although today he seems quaintly stiff and clunky, Robby was clearly influential -- such mechanical men as the Robinsons' robot on ''Lost in Space'' (also designed by Kinos**ta) bear his classic imprint.
EW MOVIE GRADE A-
 
No. 8 Maria
FROM ''Metropolis'' (1927)
PLAYED BY Brigitte Helm, once she's fully animated
PROGRAMMING In a future world where masses of industrial workers toil underground while the elite live in the spires of skyscrapers, a scientist (played by Rudolf Klein-Rogge, pictured) kidnaps radical labor leader Maria and replaces her with a robot doppelgänger to defuse a potential rebellion.
SPECIAL FEATURES Looks like the real thing but is more inclined to dance with erotic abandon than to give fiery speeches
MEMORABLE MOMENT The android Maria offers a lascivious, unsettling wink, an instant re-created in 2004's ''I, Robot.''
WHY SHE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS Robot or not, Maria is a captivating presence and an apparent influence on a range of electric-powered film females, from the Bride of Frankenstein to the T-X of ''Terminator 3.''
EW MOVIE GRADE A-

 No. 7 Gigolo Joe
FROM ''A.I. Artificial Intelligence'' (2001)
PLAYED BY Jude Law
PROGRAMMING Humanoid hustler Joe accompanies young ''mecha'' David (Haley Joel Osment, above left) on his Pinocchio-like quest to find the Blue Fairy and become a real boy.
SPECIAL FEATURES Joe, who struts to his own soundtrack of old love songs, can alter his hair color and his accent according to the whims of the client he's, um, servicing.
MEMORABLE LINE (Talking to David about humans) ''They made us too smart, too quick, and too many. We are suffering for the mistakes they made because when the end comes, all that will be left is us.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS David may be ''A.I.'''s protagonist, but it's cynical Joe, with his contempt for the humans who've built him, used him, and discarded him, who gives the movie its kick.
EW MOVIE GRADE A-
No. 6 The Iron Giant
FROM ''The Iron Giant'' (1999)
PLAYED BY Vin Diesel (voice)
PROGRAMMING He may have been designed as an interstellar weapon, but the alien android makes an ideal companion for a fatherless boy, Hogarth Hughes, who in turn teaches the massive robot that he actually has a soul.
SPECIAL FEATURES Like any alien invader in a movie set in the early Atomic Age, this metal-munching robot can take on an entire army. Also, he can fly, learn a few English words, and make-believe he's Superman.
MEMORABLE LINE ''I am not a gun.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS We like his retro-cool design, but we also choke up at his self-sacrificing stand against a paranoid army, a tearjerking climax worthy of ''E.T.''
EW MOVIE GRADE A-
 
No. 5 Robocop
FROM ''Robocop'' (1987), ''Robocop 2'' (1990), ''Robocop 3'' (1993)
PLAYED BY Peter Weller (''Robocop,'' ''Robocop 2''), Robert John Burke (''Robocop 3'')
PROGRAMMING Killed in the line of duty and brought back to life as a cyborg, Officer Murphy fights both street thugs and the white-collar criminals at OCP, the corporation that built him.
SPECIAL FEATURES His mind is a crime database, his body is bulletproof, and he's quick on the draw.
MEMORABLE LINE ''Your move, creep.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS In the first film, at least, Weller puts his wry deadpan to good use as the monotone law-enforcing machine who retains a flicker of his old humanity.
EW MOVIE GRADE A (''Robocop''), C+ (''Robocop 2''), D- (''Robocop 3'')

No. 4 Ash
MOVIE ''Alien'' (1979)
PLAYED BY Ian Holm
PROGRAMMING The most villainous computerized space traveler this side of ''2001'''s HAL 9000, Ash keeps the fact that he's an android secret from Ripley (Sigourney Weaver, above left) and the rest of the crew until he's well on the way to accomplishing his mission: to bring one of the predatory, parasitic aliens back to Earth for the Company.
SPECIAL FEATURES Even after his head is knocked off, he can still speak, offering a final, chilling warning to the crew.
MEMORABLE LINE (Before he's disconnected for good) ''I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS Ash says of the alien, ''I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.'' We could say the same about him.
EW MOVIE GRADE A
 

No. 3 Lt. Commander Data
FROM ''Star Trek: Generations'' (1994), ''Star Trek: First Contact'' (1996), ''Star Trek: Insurrection'' (1998), and ''Star Trek: Nemesis'' (2002)
PLAYED BY Brent Spiner
PROGRAMMING A twist on Mr. Spock from the original ''Trek,'' Data is an efficient science officer aboard the Enterprise -- but he's also an android who yearns to experience human emotion.
SPECIAL FEATURES In ''Generations,'' Data installs a chip that enables him to feel everything from fear to glee.
MEMORABLE LINE (In ''Generations,'' recalling a joke he'd been told seven years earlier) ''I get it! 'The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to leave!' I get it!''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS Like many of the best robot characters, Data makes us wonder what it really means to be human.
EW MOVIE GRADE B (''Generations''), B+ (''First Contact''), C (''Insurrection''), B-
(''Nemesis'')
 

No. 2 The Terminator, Model T-800
FROM ''The Terminator'' (1984), ''Terminator 2: Judgment Day'' (1991), ''Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines'' (2003)
PLAYED BY Arnold Schwarzenegger
PROGRAMMING Having failed to kill Sarah Connor, mother of anti-machine resistance leader John Connor, in the first movie, the time-traveling T-800 is reprogrammed to protect young John against even scarier new-model Terminators in the two sequels.
SPECIAL FEATURES Though he lacks the molten-metal-morphing ability of ''T2'''s T-1000 (Robert Patrick), or the ability to turn his limbs into complex weapons like ''T3'''s T-X (Kristanna Loken), T-800 is just as relentless, nearly as indestructible, and much more charismatic (in ''T2,'' he's even an unlikely father figure for John). Also, he looks good in leather and sunglasses.
MEMORABLE LINE ''I'll be back.''
WHY HE PUSHES OUR BUTTONS Like the actor-turned-California governor who plays him, T-800 has proven surprisingly adaptable for such an inexpressive, monotone guy. Good or evil, he's an all-purpose golem, a double-barreled horseman of the apocalypse.
EW MOVIE GRADE B (''Terminator''), B+ (''Terminator 2''), B+ (''Terminator 3'')
 



No. 1 R2-D2 and C-3PO
FROM ''Star Wars'' (1977), ''The Empire Strikes Back'' (1980), ''Return of the Jedi'' (1983), ''Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace'' (1999), ''Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones'' (2002)
PLAYED BY Kenny Baker (R2-D2) and Anthony Daniels (C-3PO)
PROGRAMMING The Laurel & Hardy of the ''Star Wars'' saga, the droids provide comic relief, though they also frequently help Luke Skywalker (or, in the pre-Luke episodes, his father Anakin) out of tight jams.
SPECIAL FEATURES Fussbudget 3PO can speak 6 million languages; headstrong R2 can play holographic movies, help navigate X-wing fighter ships, and, as we discover in ''Attack of the Clones,'' fly.
MEMORABLE LINE (3PO to R2, as the latter is about to leave with Luke on a mission to destroy the Death Star in ''Star Wars'') ''Hang on tight, R2. You've got to come back. You wouldn't want my life to get boring, would you?''
WHY THEY PUSH OUR BUTTONS Scrappy, heroic R2 is the most lovable of all movie robots. Even though he has no face and a language of only beeps and whistles, he's wonderfully expressive. And you can't beat his odd-couple chemistry with 3PO.
EW MOVIE GRADE A (''Star Wars''), A (''The Empire Strikes Back''), B+ (''Return of the Jedi''), B- (''Phantom Menace''), C+ (''Attack of the Clones'')
 
Personally, my favorite is omitted from the list:  Yul Brynner's Gunslinger from "Westworld".  Memorable line--"Draw."

[BeyondTheGrave]

this is pretty much a coincidence. i went to my comic store this past wed.and spent over $20 dollars you get to choose a free action figure and i picked Maria from "metropolis". noone in the store knew who she was expect me.

"I know I know ive been exposed permeant psychoses..
at least the colors are nice"- Aeon Flux

[JohnL]

>i went to my comic store this past wed.and spent over $20 dollars you get to
>choose a free action figure and i picked Maria from "metropolis". noone in the
>store knew who she was expect me.

Wow, I didn't think any stores still had those. I haven't seen them in months.

[BeyondTheGrave]

JohnL wrote:


>
> Wow, I didn't think any stores still had those. I haven't seen
> them in months.

i am regular at that comic store and the other ones from the silent screamers series like the dr. jekyll and mr.hyde and  frankenstien were sold out months ago. the store was cleaning out the inventory (hence spend over 20 get free action figure sale) and they still had a bunch of marias. dont know why she kicks ass.

"I know I know ive been exposed permeant psychoses..
at least the colors are nice"- Aeon Flux

[The Burgomaster]

I'm shocked that AOL did not include Yul Brynner's gunslinger character from WESTWORLD.

[daveblackeye15]

I think Robocop's memoriable line should have been: "Dead or alive you're coming with me." it's slightly better than "Your move ,creep".

They should have mentioned the Bot team from MST3K those Robots kick ass. Crow,Tom Servo, Gyspy and Cambot should have been in there.

[AndyC]

I know this is going to be controversial, but I always thought Hector, of Saturn 3, was one of the coolest robot designs, and delightfully menacing in the movie.

And the Cylons are also conspicuous by their absence, although that doesn't really count as a movie, even if there was a theatrical release.

The choice of Ash, from Alien, is good. I liked him, and Ian Holm is always good. I just wonder if Lance Henriksen's Bishop might have been at least as good, if not better.

Apart from that, I agree with most of the choices on the list.

[Pus]

I agree that it's a decent list, but to exclude Yul's gunslinger from Westword is a shame. From my B-movies favorites I love the Venutian Robots in "Target Earth". Really clunky, but really cool looking, And what about "The Day The Earth Stood Still"? Gees. "Klattu Verada YoumissedthatoneAOL !"

[loyal1]

Anyone know when this is on?  Use to watch years ago, along with Space Ghost Coast to Coast...would love to see again.

[BoyScoutKevin]

And while not in a theatrical film and thus apparently not elegible for this list, you have to love the robot from the television series "Lost in Space." Voiced by Dick Tufeld and given motion by Bob May. "Danger! Will Robinson! Danger!"

[onionhead]

My personal list would be:
The Gunslinger--Westworld
Gort--The Day the Earth Stood Still
Hector--Saturn 3 (no, you're not alone, AndyC)
The Terminator--The Terminator
The Colossus--The Colossus of New York
Robocop--Robocop
Mechagodzilla
Mechakong
The Flying Robot--Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot  (AKA Jaianto Robo, and anybody who can find me either DVD or VHS copies of this Velveeta series from the 60s PLEASE LET ME KNOW!)
Ro-Man--Robot Monster.  You have to admit, he is memorable

[Flangepart]

Ah, so many great bots!

Although, technicaly, Robocop is more Cyborg, as he has some residue human parts. The brain, anyway. Why else would he eat baby food?

Tobor was a cool design....hummm...who do i choose?...

In no particular order...

#1 : Crow, Tom and Gipsy! Masters of sarcasim, and verbal fu!

#2 : B-9! Saved Billy Mumy's ass, and would have fit in with Tom and Crow with the verbal Fu!

#3 : Robby! See above. Also has vital talent at Mixology.

#4 : Mecha-Kong! Underrated because of MechaGodzilla's better press agent. Give him a 20inch cannon, and a double headed ax, and watch the Kaiju parts fly!

#5 : Mechagodzilla! The current Kiryu is killer. Style and grace. Gotta give it that.

#6 : John! In Voyage to a prehistoric planet- Better then the puny humans deserved.

#7 : Bender! Kiss his shiny metal...! See Robby and B-9 above. If Tom and Crow needed temps on the SOL....

#8 : Tobor! Sure, a classic bad movie, but the design is way cool.

#9 : Da Terminator 800! Dis is vun mean design...Woah! Arnold speak...dangerious thing that....

#10 : The Gunfighter! Yul's steely eyes are just that! When it comes to "Looks that can kill..." Btw...the hooker Bots...glad i don't have "KY-Lube resivour refill" duty....EWwwww!

[AndyC]

Here's an interesting link. The guy is a collector of toy robots and related stuff, and his site includes a section devoted to his favourite movie robots.

www.jeffbots.com



Post Edited (07-25-04 19:06)

[bernie]

Hate to come off as an ubergeek BUT technically, Data was an android, not a robot.

Ahem.

Anyway, pretty good list.  I definitely endorse the addition of the MST bots and especially TV's' Lost in Space robot (all of us over 35 have "Danger Will Robinson!" engraved on our DNA!).

[Flangepart]

D'OH!
How could i forget Kryten from RED DWARF!?
Now theres a bot i'd not mind hangin' out with.
Smeggin great!