Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
April 24, 2018, 08:03:18 AM
596220 Posts in 45941 Topics by 6104 Members
Latest Member: shawnyadav Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  worst military force « previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3
Author Topic: worst military force  (Read 1836 times)
« on: December 17, 2004, 07:29:23 AM »

In quite a few movies, the hero has to fight the forces of some mighty and merciless empire, yet in actual battle these so called elite forces are so useless, you wonder how they ever got an empire together in the first place. What is according to you the most useless army in the universe? I give you, in no particular order:

Imperial Stormtroopers: all that armour and they get beaten by Ewoks. Need I say more
Cylons (in the original series) Perhaps they could develop a manoevrable single seater to take on Colonial Vipers
Generic Nazi infantry. The ones who shoot MP40s from the hip and are then felled by a single shot from the good guys
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 57
Posts: 2259

« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2004, 07:46:43 AM »

The Russians in Rambo II


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You're not the Devil...You're practice.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 122
Posts: 2881

« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2004, 09:10:14 AM »

I'd say the worst troops ever to grace an action film are those south-american soldiers that guard the hideout of the villain in "Commando". Just imagine: A foreign actor in steroids manages to waste them all in just a few minutes.


Due to the horrifying nature of this film, no one will be admitted to the theatre.
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2004, 12:57:46 PM »

I thought the same about the imperial stormtroopers when they were overrun by the ewoks (you see only one of the ewoks get shot!!!)
and the best is
- the imperator says:"I have send my best Legion to Endor." (or something like that)
I often thought about that and found it unwillingly funny
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 0
Posts: 4973

We're all just victims of circumstance

« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2004, 01:00:18 PM »

What's up with the Imperial Storm Troopers wearing armor that doesn't do a damn thing to prevent them from getting blown away  with little or no effort?

Actually I think it was a ploy to de-humanize them so no one would complain about the body count the good guys rack up.


And you thought Trek isn't cool.
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2004, 02:18:26 PM »

my favorite of this genre is the chuck norris, 80's flicks, in which the good guy has a friend or loved one hurt by the bad guys in latin america (prefarably).  so instead of following any logic the shadowy hero throws on some ninja gear to go kill mercenaries in the jungle (i.e. 9 Deaths of a Ninja and A Force of One).
Rob Phillips
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2004, 02:53:27 PM »

« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2004, 03:27:48 PM »

For I am a Starcrash/Female Space Invaders-Fan I have to mention the troops of that movie - surely one of the most embarassing army in the Sci-Fi-Universe!

Wether good or bad guys - all of the troops in Starcrash wear gay leather-costumes, so they look like catamite-guards or something that way...

At the end of Starcrash, when there is the obligatory showdown between the good and evil forces, the good troops start their attack with torpedos containing two stormtroopers.
Anyone who remembers this scene? It´s fabulous.
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1402
Posts: 11156

« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2004, 06:41:58 PM »

Let us not forget that Count Zarth Arn has a big, and rather thin, glass window on the control room of his impenetrable space fortress. Two other things puzzled me about that scene. Why doesn't the air rush in after the glass breaks, and why the hell don't the good guys just put explosives in the damn rockets? They're launching them right into the villain's control room!


"Join me in the abyss of savings."
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 0
Posts: 6730

18 Year Veteran

« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2004, 08:25:04 PM »

Aww....Neville took mine!

Hmmm....I'd say that Ming the Merciless's forces were pretty inept in Flash Gordon.
Some job they did in protecting their emperor...especially the ones with the red cloaks and snouts...they scream like b***hes when they go.

Post Edited (12-19-04 19:26)
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 70
Posts: 1386

Punks not Ded sez Rich

« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2004, 09:04:40 PM »

the japanese forces that fought godzilla. they never have a plan and do the same thing to fight him. You would think they were learn after fighting him for million times.

"I know I know ive been exposed permeant psychoses..
at least the colors are nice"- Aeon Flux

Post Edited (12-19-04 20:08)

Most of all I hate dancing then work,exercise,people,stupidpeople

« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2004, 09:08:51 PM »

A very stupid troop is acting in Dungeons&Dragons.

D&D/AD&D were games we played as 10-14year old boys (not on PC but with dices!) - therefore it was a must for me to go in Dungeons&Dragons...

I am sure that this movie was a bad disappointment for most of the D&D-fans
(me I was entertainent in an other form - the bad one).

Many things in this film were ridiculous, for example: a white castle that absolutely did not fit in the movie simply because it looked like a ruin in the year 2001

but the most stupid appearence was the "PURPLE GUARD" with it´s unimaginative and idiotic outfits  - pure badmovie-style...
peter johnson
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2004, 10:33:16 PM »

In Westerns:
The huge force of villians that the evil cattle baron has hired to run off the noble farmers will -- after shooting a farmer for demonstration purposes -- drop like flies & be unable to hit the broad side of a barn upon being confronted with the singular hero & his wacky sidekick.
Tribes of American Indians ditto -- As MAD Magazine said, "A settler's wife can shoot an Indian off a fast horse by pointing a shotgun in the air & firing with eyes closed".
peter johnson/denny crane
Yaddo 42
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2004, 12:18:03 AM »

I heard diehard "Star Wars" fans speculate that the Stormtrooper armor is more for psychological warfare and intimidation purposes in noncombat situations. Since there are so many of them (clones and recruits) they are expendable and can be used as cannon fodder in real combat.
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2004, 09:15:23 AM »

Cannon fodder is the word. What gets me, is that all these troops apparently have lots of firepower, but no idea of fire preparation or covering fire. Their idea of an attack is run forward with guns held high, until someone shoots at them and then go 'aargh!'.

I forgot about Starcrash. Is that the one where they have crested helmets and shiny copper tubes for blasters?
Pages: [1] 2 3 Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  worst military force « previous next »
    Jump to:  

    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email

    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: osmosis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.