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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Worst film of all time « previous next »
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Author Topic: Worst film of all time  (Read 7812 times)
Josh Leman
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« on: March 12, 2001, 10:06:50 PM »

I'm sure this topic has been discussed many a time on this site, but I'll ask anyway: what is the worst film, of any kind, in the history of the motion picture?

I'd say George Romero's Knightriders, which is by far the longest and most unbearably boring movie I have ever watched.  I can't believe Ed Harris was in it!
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Squishy
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« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2001, 01:11:34 AM »

I met Brother Brue ("Knightriders"' Black "Merlin" character) at a midnight showing in Boston years ago. He's not acting. Or maybe his was acting at the midnight show. While "KR" is slow at points, I can't agree that it's the Worst Picture of All Time--all Arthurian variations are of "epic" length (read: overlong) and it did tell a coherent story with some genuine style.

No, "Worst Picture of All Time" has to be a masterpiece of such utter, abject failure as to make you picture the filmmakers, if they have any self-respect or self-awareness at all, weeping with shame from the moment the first screening began to the point they are hurled squealing like piglets into the eternal brimstone for their horrible crimes.

I could rattle off a list of likely contenders--from "Billy Jack" garbage to disaster disasters to garden-tool-splatter excrement--but it's so hard to pick just one. Especially since, the worse they are, the better they are to me. "Space Mutiny"? "Octa-Man"? "Invasion of the Neptune Men"? "The Concorde--Airport '79"? "Windows"? "Ordinary People"? "Waterworld"? "Slappy and the Stinkers"? "See Spot Run"? "Exorcist II: The Heretic"? "All Your Base Are Belong To Us"? "Bug"? "The Swarm"? "Batman & Robin"? "Comin' At Ya"? "Jaws: The Revenge"? "Independence Day"? "Litzomania"? "Home Alone 3"? "The Incredible Melting Man"? "Manos: The Hands of Fate"? "Zeus and Roxanne"? "A*P*E"?

Oh God, too hot, my brain is melting out my nose...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Abby
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« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2001, 01:40:03 AM »

An impossible task. But the first five that spring to mind are:

1.) What Is It? (My new pet peeve. Pretentious Crispin Glover shockfest, that still manages to be boring even while being repulsive.)

2.) Dr. Gore (Unfinished and nearly unwatchable)

3.) Empire of the Son (Like Ballard. Hate this pretentious boring flick. You can try to find genius all you want, it's too long and it sucks.)

3.) Breakfast of Champions (Anyone else ever try to sit through this entire movie? This might be the worst film ever made.)

4.) Shock Treatment (Sequel to Rocky Horror that's the lamest musical of all time. I own this dog. Paid 75 cents. 74 cents too many. Makes The Wiz look like Madame Butterfly. Heck, even Can't Stop The Music is better than this.)

5.) Sphere (Who thought this would make a good movie? Boring, long, and insulting. The worst flick I've seen in a theater in the last ten years, if nothing else.)

Too many others.
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Stupid Jacob
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« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2001, 10:51:32 AM »

Jesus. I got a bunch that tied for the worst movie ever in my book.

-Scary Movie: Long, boring, unfunny, and overblown. Nearly 2 hours of peepee jokes

-Nutty Professer 2: Ooooohhh god! It's hurts. The pain! Just remebering this "comedy" makes me wanna eat a bullet.

-Batman and Robin: Need I say more?

-Scream 3: I still haven't forgiven Wes Craven for this one. I want my $6.50 back. Jerk.

-The Cell: This was a great comedy. It was funny as hell.
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Gerry
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« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2001, 12:49:11 PM »

Rephrasing your questions slightly as "Worst film disappointment of all time" for me would be either:

Batman & Robin

-or-

Waterworld


There are worse films out there, but at least I went in =expecting= them to be bad.

The problem was that I had high hopes on these two and was utterly horrified by the final result.
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Josh Leman
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« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2001, 02:19:15 PM »

"No, "Worst Picture of All Time" has to be a masterpiece of such utter, abject failure as to make you picture the filmmakers, if they have any self-respect or self-awareness at all, weeping with shame from the moment the first screening began to the point they are hurled squealing like piglets into the eternal brimstone for their horrible crimes. "


I would say that Knightriders IS a failure of that sort.  The movie dies in the first five minutes, and then just kind of rots there for another two and a half hours.  

At least you can laugh at movies like Manos: The Hands of Fate.  Knightriders is completely unredeemable.
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Chadzilla
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« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2001, 05:56:40 PM »

Movies that make my worst list are films that are so devoid of any entertainment value (not even so bad they are fun) that watchng them again would be like sucking on a foot long banana slug* while bamboo shoots are shoved up under all of my finger and toenails.

Three movies currently floating near the surface of the septic tank...

Cliffhanger (when I saw this movie my intelligence was insulted so regularly that my jaw dropped in dismayed amazement - it's just boring and stupid beyond words)

Armaggedon (Bruce Willis may have saved the world but nothing could save this sorry ass piece of s***, boring and insulting as well.  If I ever meet Michael Bay it will be hard to be civil ti him, his movies are just skid marks on the underpants of cinema)

The Erotic Witch Project (Lots a mottled skin, tattoos, and implant scars, not to mention some painfully unfunny signature Blair Witch 'scene parodies' - this is was so bad, so gross, so demeaning to all those involved that I swear on a stack of Bibles it will be a cold day in Hell before I ever pluck money down to watch ANYTHING from Seduction Cinema again - same rule applies to Blair Witch parodies.)


There are others, but I'm not sifting through the s*** to find them.  One thing I learned from the blob, don't poke slimey things with a stick, no matter how long.  Uck.



* - too let you all know just how horrifying that concept is to me I have to admit that I have an intense (and I do mean INTENSE) phobia regarding snails and slugs.  Why they terrify me I do not know, they just do.  That's how bad those movies are.
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Chadzilla
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« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2001, 06:00:11 PM »

Well I liked Knightriders so much I bought it and watch it regularly.  Romero's independent spirit and the Arthurian Legend just seemed a perfect fit to me and made the movie something special.  I wish that the missing thirty or so minutes could be restored, bringing the movie back to its original running time of two hours and fifty minutes and less bottom heavy.

Sorry you didn't like it.  :-(
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Gerry
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« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2001, 06:36:47 PM »

Chadzilla wrote:
>
> Movies that make my worst list are films that are so
> devoid of any entertainment value (not even so bad they are
> fun) that watchng them again would be like sucking on a foot
> long banana slug* while bamboo shoots are shoved up under all
> of my finger and toenails.
>

Boy, I've never hated a movie that much.  You must have truly been traumatized.  Have you considered seeing a counselor?
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FLANGEPART
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« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2001, 06:50:22 PM »

Well, other then that stuff i scrape of my teeth in the morning, ...Any musical other then The Blues Brothers. People breaking into song and dance in an otherwise real setting...Sheesh! Sorry, i can accept Giant Fire breathing reptiles, grim crime thrillers with lots of bodybags, or, God help us, Rob Schnider playing comedy relief for Sly (I am da lawr!) Stallone, but the trolly song gives me the shivers. Jake and Elwood, however, just seem right to me. I don't know why,i just Do! And as i remember the scene of Cab Calloway doing Minne the Moocher, i can't help but want to drive to Chicago,at night,wearing sunglasses. Doesn't everybody?
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StatCat
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« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2001, 07:00:57 PM »

Troll 2 gets my vote. There are so many otherstough but this one sticks out.
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peter johnson
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« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2001, 07:36:33 PM »

I have to go with the classics:  They Saved Hitler's Brain, with Robot Monster and Plan 9 From Outer Space tying a close second.
These films are why I love bad cinema & really are a bellwhether to measure the awfulness of other films by -- they set the stinky standard!
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Andrew
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« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2001, 08:36:15 PM »

Flangepart: make sure to avoid Indian (as in the country) films like the plague.

20 minutes of plot, then a song and dance number.  You could almost set your watch by it.

Andrew
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Josh Leman
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« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2001, 08:53:38 PM »

MISSING THIRTY MINUTES??  Well, there's only one way to make a worse film than Knightriders... making Knightriders even longer.

I don't want to insult your opinion.  But that movie is awful.
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Josh Leman
Guest
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2001, 08:57:57 PM »

Oh, musicals.  That reminds me.  Meet Me in St. Louis is simply unwatchable.  Two hours of terrible songs, racism, xenophobia, colors so saturated you can barely stand to look at the screen, and Judy Garland.  There isn't really anything worse than a movie that's supposed to make you feel warm and cheery, but just gives you a distinct urge to slit your wrists.  

The most awful thing is that it's a beloved classic.
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