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June 19, 2018, 04:14:40 AM
598917 Posts in 46196 Topics by 6137 Members
Latest Member: indiana Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Make your own B-film! « previous next »
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Author Topic: Make your own B-film!  (Read 8910 times)
Jack Corbett
« Reply #45 on: January 31, 2005, 02:13:32 AM »

Interesting ideas on this board. How about this:

GENRE: Dinosaur movie
NAME: Dinosaur Carnage
A group of scientists and documentary makers fly to an island to study the flora and fauna growing there. Because the island is an old military base, there are some old buildings, a landing strip, and a lot of old junk (Think the Midway Islands, but bigger). Anyway, as they are collecting samples of the flora and fauna, not far from the landing strip, a group of people with rifles burst out of the trees. They say they are searching for a small plane full of tourists that went missing over the area. the people aren't wild and haggared - these "rescuers" look like they've just landed. They have.

Suddenly the scientists hear their pilot screaming. Rushing back to the helicopter, they find that something has ripped it apart. A few metres away, a group of three Allosaurs are fighting over his remains. When they notice the people, they give chase.

So, over the course of the film, a bloodbath ensues. Dinos eat some people. People kill some dinos. Thats it. Although I am keeping hush about the ending, I can tell you that I have already done thi. It was a Lego Animation. But I had to delete it because of file space on the computer.


Dr. Mosley
Dr. Anna
Dr. Gennaro



Allosaurus (x3)
Dienonychus (x4)
Stegosaurus (x2)
T-Rex (x1)
Carnotaurus (x1)


-T-Rex VS Allosaurus

-Dienonychus feeding frenzy

-Kirdel killed by Stegosaurus

-Allosaurus chase

What do you think? I could do this for $20,000 if I did it in Lego.

"Name's Ash. (Cocks shotgun) Housewares."
« Reply #46 on: February 02, 2005, 01:19:43 PM »

I'd make a kung-fu spy movie that would be really, really confusing and would be basically people with hand-held cameras running around - to create that "Blair" witch style thing - then I'd spend the rest of the money on a crappy CGI explosion.

And I'd use a female actress to parody Alias -- every scene would have some "pretty" girl quivvering her lips, looking worried and running off screen.

Then, every now and again a fight would break out against Ninjas, ex-CIA killers and a guy who looks like Steven Seagal but in a fat suit.

It'd be a jokey-film parodying every spy/kung-fu action movie;

The plot would be that the hero is carrying a briefcase that cannot be opened by the carrier - he is not allowed to open it, he doesn't know what it is - and what's worse, everybody is out to kill him - there's a billion dollar contract out on his head - everybody wants him dead - even his family -- all because he's carrying a briefcase that is meant to be worth billions on the black market....

He is constantly fighting until he realises he's carrying a thermo-nuclear briefcase, the first of its kind - ultra-powerful - he's become the ultimate terrorist - at the president's bidding.

The hero confronts the President in the white house and they have a really big fight on the scale on Drunken Master II.

That's it.
« Reply #47 on: February 02, 2005, 10:38:05 PM »

Sounds something like the plot of the old Phil Harris song,  "The Thing" in which a guy runs around trying to give away some unspecified object that no one wants, but which he thinks is pretty neat. (It ends with St. Peter telling him to "Get out of here with that *** and take it down below!") I think it would be better for your movie to end similarly: the President actually doesn't know anything about all this, doesn't want any suitcase nukes, and won't let the guy into the White House either. Of course, the whole thing sounds something like Jackie Chan's "First Strike" movie any way you play it.
D Munger
« Reply #48 on: February 02, 2005, 10:59:43 PM »

I think the traditional whatsit in a briefcase plot device comes from some Dashiel Hammet novel with a color in the name. Kind of inspired Repo Man also.
« Reply #49 on: February 02, 2005, 11:15:15 PM »

They used the briefcase device on an episode of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND.

« Reply #50 on: February 03, 2005, 11:42:34 AM »

More on my thoughts of "The Briefcase"...

I didn't know that -- thanks for that Menard -- I thought of it some years ago when I saw Run Lola Run...

I thought wouldn't it be cool to mix Run Lola Run with Blair Witch and create a spy film where its very very fast paced, with techno music and lots of fighting.

Remember that ultra hyperkinetic fight in Police Story 2 where Chan is fighting more and more hoods in the Playground -   I wanted every fight to be at that pace.    Of course it'd be REALLY expensive... but it'd be worth it.

I wanted the ending to be brutal too - for example, the hero dies in the end or something happens which means that all the struggle was for nothing, except perhaps he fell in love or something, which I guess is some reward, especally if you've just DESTROYED the world!  *laughs*  

I'm not sure about the fight with the president - I always wanted to have a fight sequence that would go beyond anything -- could you ever really fight the President - what if he was in a white suit and used every utensil in the Oval Office, including the Red Phone, the swords or the American Flag?   I think it'd be kinda cool  -- who is the terrorist?  Is it the president or is the hero?

Maybe I could make it into a Total Recall-like thing -- the hero can't remember who he is or thinks he's somebody else -- when right at the end there's a twist -- yep, HE'S the terrorist, you've been watching the terrorist all along...  *hee hee*

I'm not sure about the thermo-nuclear warhead -- It sounds too obvious -- I thought maybe;

1) It's a nuke
     -- pro: good idea  con: its too obvious.
2) It's the guys soul  
     -- pro: cool.  
     -  con: sounds like it was nicked from Pulp Fiction's briefcase thing
3) It's the presidents soul
     - Same as above
4) It's a chemical or other WMD warhead (ie: Its a "enthic" bomb)
     - pro: good idea
      -con:  a what?  too obvious
5) It has no contents
     -  pro: huh?
     - con: huh?
6) It has lots of gold, money, drugs, spy secrets, code to nukes, etc.
     - too boring
7) Religious Item to with the secrets of God, Christ or Budda.
8) It holds all known fighting styles in a book
9) It has infinite treasure
10) It is a gateway to somewhere (hell)

It was just an idea... sorry!
« Reply #51 on: February 04, 2005, 12:42:29 AM »

I still think it's a pretty good idea, albeit a good idea for a comedy. Aside from the things you mentioned, I think you could play the story so that everyone eventually figures it out, but the viewer still never finds out what was in the briefcase.

President: Oh! So that's what those guys had you carrying around.

Hero: Now please, Mr. President, I don't want it anymore. Nobody wants it, and I can't just dump it anywhere. You take it.

President: Like hell! This thing could wreck the whole nation. Get out of here, and don't come back until you've gotten rid of it.

Hero: But it's dangerous!

President: Well, you should have thought of that before you accepted your mission. Men, chain that briefcase to his hand again and escort him to the door. Here's an official pardon I've written out to him for breaking into the White House. If he tries to break in again, deport him to Tanzania.

Secret Service: But sir, Australia's our ally!

President: Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that. Deport him to Belgium, then.
« Reply #52 on: February 04, 2005, 04:24:41 AM »

Hilarious -- I like that idea...  I think I'll pitch the idea to my friend who makes movies, at least I think he does.
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 1
Posts: 176

« Reply #53 on: February 08, 2005, 09:46:31 PM »

I thought of a good one. A directe to video -tense, erotic, thriller- with lots of T&A.
It would be called - Au Pair (sequels could have titles like "Au Pair: Lethal Panties; Au Pair: Vengeful Aereolae; Au Pair: Deadly Spankings). Every actress in it has to be totally doable, so they'd probably all be pretty close to the same age, although the characters would range from JV cheerleader to married woman with teenage daughter and one line or gray hair symbolizing that she's older, to bitter, unexplainably dateless (super hot) spinster.
Cast should include:
Shannon Tweed
Shannen Dougherty
Madchen Amick
Amanda Donahue
Someone Alicia Silverstone-like

Follow formula pretty closely for the movies where a baby sitter or something wigs out. Opens with a fantasy scene of a teenage girl telling her boyfriend that she's pregnant, then they get married and ride off on a unicorn. Cut to her telling her boyfreind in real life, he beats her up, she miscarries, and stabs him to death with a knitting needle (she was knitting little booties). Then she goes on the lam.

Then show the family that the viewers are supposed to relate to. If there's anyone out there known as "the poor man's Tom Selleck" that's who should play Dad. Failing that, just some handsome fellow with weird eyebrows. He's having a middlife crisis, but he needn't neccessarily look it. Neglecting his hot wife who feels ugly now because of that and her one gray hair. She's probably having one of those chatroom affairs in order to feel pretty again or something. Teenage daughter played by someone old enough to be shown naked in sexual situations incessantly. Probably she should be pretty naughty, possibly enough for it to be a big problem for the family so that they're considering some drastic solution, like Outward Bound. Son, generic boy of about ten. Establish their problems and then present Dad's brilliant solution - hire an au pair (so his wife won't have as much stress, they'll have time to work on their relationship, etc). It's the crazy girl from the begining, with her hair different enough that you can tell she's still undercover from being on the lam.

Au pair girl (older than the daughter, more like college age) is already somewhat out of touch with reality, has convinced herself that her boyfriend died heroically defending her from a shadowy attacker that caused the miscarriage, and that that's who she's in hiding from (I'm not married to that part). She's really good at whatever it is that Au Pair's do, and the little boy has a crush on her. Mother and daughter probably really like her at first too. Pretty quickly she's making little observations about what a good mother she'd make, eventually becomes critical of the Mother (especially as a wife, if she was married to that guy, she'd be more attentive, etc). Then she starts actively coming between the couple with deliberate little sabotage manuvers, like she misplaces messages so that the wife will be p**sed off, and arrainges for them to find out stuff that was supposed to be secret, like the online stuff, and maybe Dad's porn stash or something. Not until after they really trust her though.

Main function of the male characters is to call female characters on the phone, which they invarriably answer naked. Whenever they get a phone call it's right in the middle of a bubble bath, shower, naked yoga/arobics, or just staring at themselves in a full length mirror playing with a feather. I'd do that every day if I was  a chick.

In the middle part, the couple becomes estranged, one of them moves out, maybe it's even a full-blown separation. Au pair starts acting weirder, insisting the boy call her Mommy, staring at shiny, shininy knives, etc. Maybe there's even a strange nude incident with the boy that could be kind of a nod to the French farce "Get Out Your Hankercheifs". She could even recite a whole synopsis of that movie as a joke or an example of all her confused yearnings or whatever. She confesses a bunch of stuff to someone (possibly Amanda Donohue as a lesbian dominatrix by night/ teacher at the daughter's school by day) who then starts blackmailing her. But not for money, heh-heh. Teenage daughter becomes suspicious.

Now just coast for awhile, put in lots of scenes of women naked for no particular reason or washing a care in daisy dukes. Probably room for one catfight in this part. There should be several of these in the movie, with every remotely plausible paring of daughter-teacher, au pair/mother, etc. but not too close together. Squeeze one in as early as possible, maybe in the flashback (dead boyfriend could have had a sister that caught her killing him?), then put the rest of them near the end. One could be a dream sequence, if it's something that wouldn't make sense in the storyline itself. Might find room for irrelevant subplot about one of the teenage daughter's naughty little freinds being a secret pornstar or something.

Daughter finds out about au pair being wanted for murder around the same time that she has an altercation with the blackmailer where she ends up killing her, then totally spinning out into a psychotic delusion where she can have the perfect life if she kills the mother and takes her place. Somehow this leads to her kidnapping the little boy, maybe part of a plan to kill the mother later on (he's bait?). Smacks the kid around whenever he dosen't play along with the fantasy where she's the mom. No one believes the daughter, who ends up in hot pursuit. Cop pulls crazy au pair over, at this point she's probably half convinced herself that she's someone else, everything is OK, the kid is hers, anyway, she ends up killing the cop somehow and stuffing him in the trunk. Then maybe she gets to where the Mom is and does something that puts her into an indeterminate state of death/unconciousness (hits her on the head, chokes her, or shoots her with the cop's gun). Daughter catches up to her someplace with a lot of people (maybe a wet t-shirt contest or a costume party where all the women are dressed as topless Cleopatra or translucent-latex-uniform nurse. Big suspenseful climax where the daughter tries to convince everybody that the au pair is a murderer, but she seems like the crazy one. Just as it looks like au pair might get away, someone finds the dead cop in her trunk. Maybe he wasn't quite dead, or maybe it's got something to do with the kid, I forgot about him.

Probably then there's an epilogue where you see that the mother's really alive, the couple's reconciled, and au pair is in a chick prison or psych ward.

Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 1
Posts: 176

« Reply #54 on: February 08, 2005, 10:51:31 PM »

Holy crap, I forgot the part where she seduces the Dad, and the Mom walks in on them. That's when they officially become estranged.

« Reply #55 on: February 08, 2005, 11:15:16 PM »

Did you say that you wanted to be a world famous logger Dave?

Maybe I misread that.  (:

Jack Corbett
« Reply #56 on: February 08, 2005, 11:42:48 PM »

Dave, about using your real name...

Welcome to the club, buddy.
« Reply #57 on: February 08, 2005, 11:45:27 PM »

We are going to have to give a name to that club. (:

Jack Corbett
« Reply #58 on: February 08, 2005, 11:50:41 PM »

My name really is Jack Corbett, you know. How about this for a name:

THE BREAKFAST CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #59 on: February 08, 2005, 11:56:44 PM »

Okay, Jack and Dave are members of The Breakfast Club.

Hey Dave. That was not my suggestion.

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