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May 22, 2018, 10:35:31 PM
597436 Posts in 46063 Topics by 6120 Members
Latest Member: eenkleemil Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Make your own B-film! « previous next »
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Author Topic: Make your own B-film!  (Read 8843 times)
Jack Corbett
« Reply #60 on: February 08, 2005, 11:59:32 PM »

Hahahahahahahahahaha, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have to watch it in English. It's our term topic. We're up to just after Claire helps Allison (s**t, I remember the names...)

« Reply #61 on: February 09, 2005, 12:02:12 AM »

You do of course realize that when you remember the names of the characters in a movie, that is a sign that you like it.


Jack Corbett
« Reply #62 on: February 09, 2005, 12:04:22 AM »

No, it's because I have the Empire movie Almanac and I know why everyone was on detention.

By the way, hwo brought the flare gun? Can't really remember.
« Reply #63 on: February 09, 2005, 12:13:27 AM »

Probably Judd Nelson's character.

Since I didn't like the movie, I don't remember the character's name.


Jack Corbett
« Reply #64 on: February 09, 2005, 12:15:25 AM »

Would you PLEASE stop my technique of putting the not-quite-yet-patented "Hahahahaha' and the end of your posts?!
« Reply #65 on: February 09, 2005, 12:17:14 AM »


Is that better?

Jack Corbett
« Reply #66 on: February 09, 2005, 12:21:25 AM »

f**kEEENG PRICK!!! Look ad you NOW ah?! Yur a MESS!!! I like SCARFACE!!! FECK OOF!!!

I am a little angry now.

Serenity now. Serentity now. Serenity now, Insanity later.

Oh. Okay then, well

« Reply #67 on: February 09, 2005, 12:24:10 AM »

Uhh....give me a while to actually translate that.

« Reply #68 on: February 09, 2005, 06:06:39 AM »

Wasn't "Poison Ivy" something like that? I seem to recall a preview for it which indicated it was a story in which a girl's new friend at high school starts trying to seduce her dad and take over the family. I also recall there was some higher-budget movie in which a woman loses her husband to suicide after a bunch of women slap him with sexual harassment suits, and decides to get revenge on one of those women by becoming a nanny in her home, seducing her husband, and taking over her family.  It's 5:00 in the morning, so I may not have all of my titles right., but hasn't this story already been done?

I suppose you can always try doing things again; after all, that's some of what makes B-movies B-movies. Still, what I always liked about them is how they often try original and maybe stupid stuff no one else ever thinks to use. If the result is hideous, at least you can laugh about the reviews it gets, and if the result is great, you've got another cult film you can share with your buddies.

Some of the flicks mentioned in the reviews, I notice, seem based on dreams or nightmares that don't really ever form into a coherent plot (which is why the movie made from them is so laughably inconsistent); that one about children causing anyone who touches them to start burning from the inside out, for example. You've got to admit, that's some nightmarish imagery, even if it doesn't make for much of a story.

Here's a little nightmare I had as a child that I've never been able to make into a story: I dreamed a bunch of witches cursed my town and let loose a plague of "sparks," little glowing wrinkled things like raisins that tumbled around on the ground like little bits of gravel in a high wind, seeking prey. In my dream, anyone these "sparks" touched would eventually become a "spark" himself, slowly sickening and shriveling up. Worse, no one had any way to destroy the nasty things or cure the shriveling sickness, and the only protection I had was an enchanted blanket one of the "traitor" witches had given me that served as a kind of repellent. I dreamed that putting this blanket up on the door of my family's house kept out the "sparks" and kept us safe, but there was nothing we could do for anyone else.

The nightmare had no ending, and I'm not sure it would have had any even if I hadn't woken up. But man, wouldn't that make for a creepy story if I could think of a plot to go with it!
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 1
Posts: 176

« Reply #69 on: February 09, 2005, 05:53:57 PM »

Maybe the plot to a movie about "Sparks" could mainly be filling in the backstory, like the people wouldn't know what had caused it, so in the middle of trying to survive, they keep finding clues about who's fault it is. Could be some twists, like it's really all the fault of one of the good guys, etc. Then again, that might only get you through the first third of the movie. Second third, maybe people start fighting over the blanket, stealing it, lynching whoever stole it, etc. Last third of the movie, one or two probably failed attempts to lift the curse, then resignation and despair, the end.

There were TONS of movies like Au Pair made in the 80s, probably there's even been one with that title. I don't know if Maddchen Amick was in any though. The main joke there was trying to follow the formula really closely, and the only 'original' part was pushing the T&A angle over the top. There was at least one sequel to "Poison Ivy", and I think it was one of the ones where it's more of a remake than a sequel. I think the other movie you mentioned was called something like "The Nanny" and starred Rebbecca DeMornay around the apex of her carreer. Creepy moment in that one: Someone catches her breastfeeding the baby (someone elses, that is). I think the grandaddy of this subgenre was "Summer Girl" with the girl who played the French exchange student in "Better Off Dead".

Maybe I just thought of a movie quote to use as a signature:

"He puts his testicles all over me... Like ze octopus."

Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 0
Posts: 2388

« Reply #70 on: February 09, 2005, 09:39:21 PM »

>By the way, hwo brought the flare gun? Can't really remember.

Anthony Michael Hall's character. It went off in his locker, destroying the lamp he made in shop class, which is why he was in detention.

>I also recall there was some higher-budget movie in which a woman loses her
>husband to suicide after a bunch of women slap him with sexual harassment
>suits, and decides to get revenge on one of those women by becoming a nanny
>in her home, seducing her husband, and taking over her family.

That was The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, starring Rebecca DeMornay as the psycho nanny.
Jack Corbett
« Reply #71 on: February 10, 2005, 04:07:29 AM »

Thanks for that. We finished watching it today.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
« Reply #72 on: February 11, 2005, 12:36:25 AM »

Yes, "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle," that's what the movie was. For some reason, it just fell right out of my head.

As I say, I'm not really sure what I could do with that nightmare. It wasn't recurrent or anything like that one Alex Proyas had that inspired his "Dark City" film, so there's no more material forthcoming. As I recall, the whole plague of "sparks" was just a curse from witches who hated us all and wanted us to suffer, so it'd be hard to blame the affair on anyone but them, and they weren't in the rest of the nightmare.

The part that especially made no sense was the "traitor" witch who gave me that blanket, since I don't believe there is such a thing as good magic or a good witch. The mystery was not who's to blame, but why did a being that I would always identify as an evil creature betray her own kind to do me good in a dream? Evil people are always betraying each other, but not usually to do anyone but themselves any good. It's sort of as if Satan himself were suddenly to do something kind and altruistic; it's totally irrational.

And if a movie made from that were as bad as my dream, there wouldn't be many people left to fight over anything, the way people were getting turned into sparks right and left.  I dreamed we were hearing on the radio about the sparks and how they were spreading through the nation and no one knew what to do about them. It's the kind of story that's already despairing at the beginning, so I'm guessing it would be a "starts bad/ends worse" kind of film, if anything.
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 32
Posts: 566

« Reply #73 on: February 11, 2005, 03:58:56 AM »

Whats up its been a very long time since I posted here.Me and some of my friends have already talked about making a zombie movie, and have even written a script.
The movie would be called "Nick the kick vs The karate zombies". It would a zombie slash, comedy slash,Kung-fu flick. It would be about four friends who wake up one day to find their town has been taken over by the undead. All four friends are adept in karate and they realise that they must save the city from the zombies.
They go to their sensai were they find out that an old student who began using a forbbiden art of karate, involing raising the dead, was killed 8 years ago by the sensai in a duel.Now the old student has come back for revenge and its up to the four friends to stop him and save the town.
The movie would take after the old zombie and kung-fu flicks of old, with alot of comedy.


Smells like popcorn and shame
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