describe strange mostly unseen movies

[h.p. Love]

You can't just type in "messed up almost unknown flicks almost no one but I have see" into imdb or google. I'm trying to get a new "must see" list going.

So, are there movies that even in bad movie circles, it seems only you have seen that exist on crusty old out-of-print vhs? Please give a little description. Thanks.

[Mr_Vindictive]

The Mutilator.  I'm sure I've mentioned this one hundreds of times on this board, but I can't help but mention it again.

Gory low budget slasher fun.  I've had a crusty VHS for a few years but bought a bootleg DVD from Ebay last Halloween which is just a DVD copy of a crusty VHS.

I absolutely love the movie.

Starts off with a kid cleaning his father's guns for father's day.  He accidentally shoots his own mother in the process.  Father comes home, goes bat-s**t and waits until his son is in college to kill him and his friends at a beach house.

Atrocious acting, decent effects and a nasty streak a mile wide.  It also helps that it was filmed just a few miles from me.  

I have a review that I wrote about my VHS copy:

http://www.keeptheticket.com/reviews.php?searchrid=17

[Archivist]

Bloodmoon - Really bad Australian horror movie that takes place at a co-ed school prom out in the bush somewhere.  A mad killer (yep, one of those movies) is taking out the students one by one, usually with a loop of razor wire around the neck.  Some nice nudity, lots of bad acting, and bad 80's Australian hair.

There is another really bad Australian horror movie but I can't remember the name!  It revolves around a group of teenagers who find/steal an Aboriginal sacred artifact, and they are pursued from their camping trip back to the suburbs by these weird happenings.  I seem to recall ... wait!  The magic of Google has given me the answer!

The movie is called 'Kadaicha' (1987) aka 'Kadaicha the Death Stone' or 'Stones of Death'.  Scroll down on this page for a summary, and see the next link for a slew of Australian horror movies, guaranteed to be bad, every single one of them.

http://www.tabula-rasa.info/AusHorror/OzHorrorFilms2.html

http://www.eofftv.com/features/australian_horror.htm

The thing is, I don't even LIKE Australian movies in general, but if you compare American B-movie horror with Australian, it's almost a genre in itself.

And speaking of bad, but this time more fun, Australian movies, see if you can see (do not BUY) a copy of 'BMX Bandits', an early 80's kids movie about three kids on their BMX bikes who foil a crime gang.  Lots of BMX stunts, which were all the rage, and a good showing by a very young Nicole Kidman.

~Archivist~

[dean]

Also on the subject of B-movies from Australia, the all time classic for me is the movie 'Ned' which is a spoof of 'Ned Kelly' based on the [in]famous Ned Kelly legend in Australian history.

'Ned' has bad gay jokes, a handjob, lots of toilet humour, and just good times in general.  Plus a leprechaun.  How could you say no to that? :-P  I highly reccommend it for anyone, even if they don't know the legend of Ned Kelly [this is pretty innaccurate anyway]

>>>>The thing is, I don't even LIKE Australian movies in general, but if you compare American B-movie horror with Australian, it's almost a genre in itself.

This is probably because what you think are Australian B-movies are actually the Australian movie industry...  ooh that's harsh.

But ultimately very fair.

[Archivist]

Three words, Dean:

"Death In Brunswick"

:-)

~A~

[Mr_Vindictive]

Yahoo Serious!

[Dr. Kobb]

"Bad Boy Bubby"!

Actually, I was going to mention a great little pic I caught the other night called "The Sender", before we got off on an Aussie-tangent...

[Susan]

Moon of the werewolf.

I won't say it's good but beware the loup Garou!

[ToyMan]

"the ugly" - it's a low budget, psychological revenge film shot in new zealand.

[Scott H.]

Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell (1986) - It doesn't get any more unknown than this. The movie was actually released several times, but trust me it doesn't get any better with the new packaging. The first box was one of the oversized VHS boxes you can find original copies of first VHS releases like Blood Feast and Tarantulas in, but it was later downsized and sold in regular VHS packages like the one I have. Surprisingly there are 12 comments in the IMDb about this one. Still worth knowing you have seen... something that can be used to your advantage in discussion. (eg. your friend: "Dude, I just saw the worst movie the other day." You mentally: "No he hasn't." works better than ass pennies)

Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu  (1982) - I'm still the only one on the IMDb who has seen this. Topping off at 5 votes and directed by Godfrey Ho, this movie is awful and is little known for that reason. In fact, check out any movie by Godfrey Ho if you're looking for obscure and horrifyingly bad. This man made a career out of taking movies that did poorly in the box office of their country of origin, adding footage of an american ninja (usually Richard Harrison), and pasting them together while acting as if no one would be the wiser. People in the movie who are supposedly talking to each other are in fact not even in the same room. It's a lesson in exploitation. He made movies with titles like Bionic Ninja, Zombie Vs. Ninja, Ninja Demon's Massacre, etc etc... Here's his IMDb listing.
http://imdb.com/name/nm0387301/

Robo C.H.I.C. (1989) - Hey, Peter can help us out on this movie as could Andrew! They both have seen it, and Peter actually acted in it. Think Police Academy 47 crossed with talk of a nuclear bomb in America. Tv's Burt Ward also has a part in this movie as a wormy villain. This is one of those movies that drills a hole in your brain with terrible jokes and two actresses starring as one. Watch and you'll understand.

-Scottie H.-

[AlexB]

I already mentioned elsewhere, but it is worth mentioning again: Corn Man, the superhero who talks to corn

[Dr. Kobb]

LOL!  That has gotta be the feeblest super-power, EVER.

[Diablo44.]

Neon Maniacs (1986) is, surprisingly, available on DVD, but not reviewed very much. And a personal favorite, Arena (1991), which Andrew reviewed at this site. Not the Pam Grier one, but the intergalactic boxing one. I saw it in high school when I worked at a little mom and pop video store and loved it, so I plan on locating a copy and reviewing it as well.

Rob
The KO Picture Show

[h.p. Love]

I'm able to check out a few of these: Gore-met Zombie Chef from Hell, Mutilator and Neon Maniacs.

I've seen Arena and enjoyed it. To add to the aussie thing, Body Melt is good (reviewed here) and Dead-end Drive-In is not. Body Melt is pretty well known though.

[Derf]

Ugh! Cornman is AWFUL! I've never seen a flick try so hard to get Troma's attention (and, from what I can gather, it's too bad for even Troma to touch). But speaking of Troma, they released a dvd version of Vegas In Space, a movie that would fit very well under this topic. It's all about a group of men who have to infiltrate a society of women, so they disguise themselves as women. There are only one or two actual women in the movie--all the rest are transvestites. The men the "story" centers around actually make more convincing women than men. The entire movie is made up of bad gay and transvestite humor and cheesy sets. The camp value is high, but the writing and acting are so atrocious that I could only sit through it because I'd never seen anything like it. It's like driving past a car wreck: You can't look away even though you don't want to see what you know you probably will see. I saw it available at Best Buy a few years ago; I don't know if it's still available anywhere (I kind of hope not).