OT: Tom Cruise

[odinn7]

"Just imagine if the biggest star wars fanatic started his own religious organization..."

Count me in.

[Wence]

Yesterday I saw an incident on TV with a reporter and Tom Cruise. The reporter made a silly joke with Cruise - his mic was prepared as a spray-gun.

After Cruise got a load of water in his face he became angry (but could hold himself back), he said something like: "I am kind to you and take my time to talk with you and you!? You do THIS!!! You´re stupid! STUPID!"

I don´t know who this reporter was and why he did it. Perhaps he´s a radical anti-scientologist or so.
Well, this joke will be a expensive fun for the reporter - Cruise called his Lawyers in.

[AndyC]

Wence wrote:
> he said something like: "I am
> kind to you and take my time to talk with you and you!? You do
> THIS!!! You´re stupid! STUPID!"

> Cruise called his Lawyers in.

Well, now there's no question that Scientology has helped him find inner peace and made him a better person.

I don't think I'll go and see WotW. Not because I wasn't looking forward to it, and not because it doesn't look interesting, but because Tom Cruise is an a***ole.

[h.p. Love]

"Your honor, I got water in my eye while walking on a magic red carpet to see myself pretend to save the world. And, *shaking at the horror* the water almost ruined my special makeup."

*turning to The Red Carpet Squirt Pistol Terror*

"Why? Why would you do this? Why would you do something like this? Why I ask you why."

Judge: "I hereby rule the defendent to get squirted in the face for 5 seconds at close range with a water pistol while walking on a magic red carpet. Court adjourned."



Post Edited (06-28-05 09:41)

[AndyC]

Taking a second look at Cruise's response to the prank, it's really quite revealing. It's as if stopping to talk to this guy was such a grand thing, such a great privilege, and (horrors) he played a little trick on his benefactor. Bit the hand that fed him. "Is this how you repay me?!"

How dare he not respond the way he's supposed to - with star-struck ass kissing. Just completely forgot his place. There must be something wrong with him.

Forget the squirting toys. Somebody should fling a cowpie at Cruise next time.

What was that Line from Star Trek: TNG? "I always thought you could use some humiliation. Or was it humility? Either would do."

[Wence]

Here some info about the "Curch of Scientology":

1950 - Lafayette Ronald Hubbard´s books "Book Nr.1" and "Dianetics" come out. In the same year a "Centre for Dianetics" is founded in California.
1954 - After problems with the US health authorities, the "Curch of Scientology California" is founded (nice trick!).
1959 - Scientology buys Castle of St. Hill (Britain) and uses it as new Headquarters.
1965 - An Australian investigating committee deems Scientology as "evil" and as a "threat to society" !
1969 - Scientology has to leave Britain (!). A private fleet ("SEA ORG") is now Scientology´s Headquarters.
1976 - Clearwater (Florida) becomes actual Headquarters.
1978 - L. Ron Hubbard is sentenced for fraud in France !

The groups statistics:
Scientology has 3.100 "Curches", "Missions" and "Celebrity Centres" in 107 Countries.
All organisations and side-organisations have about 8 Million members (!).
Their new leader is David Miscavige.

Scientological organisations:
RTC ("Religious Technology Centre")
ABLE ("Association for Better Living and Education")
WISE ("World Institute of Scientology Enterprises International")
IAS ("International Association of Scientologists")
NARCONON (drug abuse help-centre!)
CRIMINON (centre for former criminals!)
and more so-called "ORGS"
 
Some of you wrote that there´s a Scientology-Centre/Curch in the near of your homes. I live near Nürnberg and we have a scientological "Mission" here, too.
Next time I go by I will visit it (if it´s open) to get some info stuff about "Thetans" and all that funny crap they believe in.

PS: I am watching Cruise in THE FIRM for the third time now - cool film.

[h.p. Love]

yeah, I know Johnnie Cochran is dead but what if he wasn't?

And yeah I know I post compulsively on this thread.

J.C.: "What did my client do to you? What was it that he did?"
Tom: "He squirted me with water."
J.C.: "My client squited you with water?"
Tom: "Yes."
J.C.: "How did my client squirt you with this water?"
Tom: "It came out of a microphone."
J.C. : "You say the water came out of a microphone?"
Tom: "Yes."
J.C.: "[I've never seen anything like that. I don't believe it!] Was this was a regular microphone? Or would you say it was a special modified microphone?"
Tom:"It was modified."
J.C.: "Are you accusing my client of modifying a special microphone for the purpose of squirting you with water?"
Tom: "Yes."
J.C.: "Where's the proof? Did you see him modify this special water squirting microphone?"
Tom: "No."
J.C.: "I'm sorry, my ears are bad. Could you speak up and say that again please?"
Tom's lawyer: "Objection your honor!"
Judge: "Overruled. Would the plaintiff please answer the question?"
Tom: "No."
J.C.: "No what?"
Tom: "No, I did not see your client modify the microphone."
J.C.:" If you didn't see my client modify the super special modified water-squirting microphone, then how do you know he did? How do you know that some else didn't secretly modify his normal microphone into a microphone modified for the special purpose of squirting water? Can you prove that?"
Tom: "Uh. I guess..."
J.C.: "What?"
Tom: "No. I guess I can't prove that.."
J.C.: "What did you do after this water allegedly splashed in your face from a specially modified microphone?"
Tom: "I held your client's hand."
J.C.: "You held his hand? Why would you hold his hand? Did you know this man?  Was he your special lover? Did he ask you to hold his hand? [Did you think he wanted to cross the street?]"
Tom: "No."
J.C.: "You're sure my client didn't hold your hand? Was it his idea to hold hands?"
Tom:"No."
J.C. : "Oh, so you just got some water on your face and as a consequence decided to reach out and grab my client's hand without his permission?"
Tom: "Yes"
J.C.: "I see. Well then, special ladies and gentleman of the esteemed jury, you must find my client innocent. He did not modify the super secretly modified water-squirting microphone. He would not and could not do that. He was just as surprised and frightened as anyone else standing by the magic red carpet who was surprised and frightened by this strange and unexpected water.  And the plaintif then took actions that scared my client further and unneccessarily causing him distress. My client did not commit assault. There wasn't any spit. No spit. [Not one spot of spit.] Listen to me. You must acquit. No spit you must acquit. Nothing further your honor. I rest my case."

Eventually I'm going to get tired of this whole thing. I wonder what Stern has to say?
Hey, at least I avoided the obvious "you can't handle the truth."

edit in [ ] above



Post Edited (06-28-05 19:29)

[LH-C]

LMAO......H.P. that was awesome!!!!!!!!! I've been having a bad dat, and that really cheered me up. Also, I'm getting tired of the whole thing too. Glad when it will be over and I can really begin to pretend that Tom Cruise doesn't exist.

[h.p. Love]

Thanks. I'm glad you got a laugh. I've been slap happy all day and I made that thing up as I went. I hate to admit it, but hearing the "Seinfeld" Cochran as I read it makes me laugh myself.

I wish I had added some sort of crazy scientology outburst from Tom but oh well.

[Zapranoth]

Im-pressive!

Mmmmost im-pressive!

Your skillz are complete!

(LMAO, h.p.  That was totally insane.)

[h.p. Love]

Post #100

I just caught this tonight and it was great.

Lewis Black is hilarious. He's the older guy who rants and raves on the daily show once a week. He also had the comedy central special where he talks about a girl he overheard in an IHOP who says she wouldn't have graduated from college if it wasn't for her hourse.

Black saved it for last and used clips from the matt lauher interview. It's even more scary seeing that thing again.

I've been feeling bad for Cruise. He's melting down on camera.

I fully expect him to go into some kind of therapy and go back on Oprah and back on with Lauher at some point. The Oprah will be HUGE.

Anyone think he's acting?



Post Edited (06-28-05 22:29)

[Zapranoth]

No, he's not acting.  

Not ever.  Not even when he tries.  =)

[h.p. Love]

His acting is almost more realistic than the way he's acting now. Watching those clips again, it didn't even look real. "Matt, Matt, Matt. You don't know psychiatry. I know psychiatry. Did you know that ritilan is a street drug?"

Matt can't handle the truth!

[AndyC]

True enough. His fictional characters seem like everyday Tom Cruise, while his actual behaviour is a pretty fair portrayal of a nut.

[h.p. Love]

Tom scheduled to be on The View Friday the 1st. Maybe barbara walters will get something good out of him.

(downloading the oprah debacle now and making some popcorn)