When good signs go ....bad....

[Shadowphile]

 No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less!
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's r estroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL


Beauty is only a light switch away.
--- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
---Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
---The Irish Times, Washington, DC

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
--Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
--- Revolution Books, New York, New York

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
--Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light.
---The Janitor

[Shadowphile]

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

I need someone really bad... are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted: Telepathy ... you know where to apply.

Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.

Hang up and drive.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Lord save me from your followers.

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

Born again pagan.

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Cats... the other white meat.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

[BoyScoutKevin]

Thank-you,  Shadowphile.

And I was caught laughing at work. But, as long as that is the only thing, I'm caught doing. They don't care.