Harry Potter and the Goblet of This Movie Sucks

[akiratubo]

Spoilers?  Oh yeah.

Bleargh!  This movie sucks my ass!

I'm not a Harry Potter fan in general but I liked the first movie all right.  It had a magical, fantastic atmosphere, Quidditch was pretty cool, and Voldemort growing out the back of the guy's head was pretty damn twisted.

The Chamber of Secrets I liked quite a bit.  It had an even better Quidditch game.  Aragog and his children scared the holy crap out of me.  The basilisk was a pretty nifty monster.  And the movie was fun overall.

The Prisoner of Azkaban had a lot going for it and probably would have been my favorite if it had just ended sooner.  The movie was, for all intents and purposes, over ... and then Lupin turned into the wimpiest werewolf ever.  And then Harry fought the Demontors to protect Sirius.  And then Hermione and Harry went back in time.  And they saw Lupin turn into a werewolf again.  And Harry saved Sirius again.  And ARRRGH!   It wasn't as bad as the twenty or thirty endings of Return of the King but, whoa, it was waaaaaay too drawn out.

So, I can sum up the first three movies as "okay".  Now, to the fourth movie.

Bleargh!  This movie sucks my ass!

It presents us with the World Quidditch Championship ... and doesn't show a second of it!  The Death Eaters march on the wizards and ... we don't see them do anything!  The four champions go to face off the dragons and ... we don't see three of the four fights!  (They could have shown us glimpses, at least!)  Then Harry and Ron try to get dates to a dance for about 45 minutes.  AUUGGHH!  After that, Moaning Myrtle gives Harry a blowjob.  Harry goes underwater, gets hissed at by some mer-people, and then gets tentacle raped by some squid thingies.

I ought to mention there's a new teacher at the school, this guy with a magic eyeball named, uh, something.  Moody?  There are all sorts of jokes and puns about his eye.  I hate him.  And it turns out he was an imposter anyway.  I still hate him.

And I ... kinda forget what happens after that.  I had quit paying much attention after about the twentieth straight scene of either Ron or Harry getting turned down by girls they ask to the dance.  I think Harry goes through a maze?  Yeah ... he and the other people in the tournament go through this maze.  Harry and some dork get the trophy at the same time and ...

Get teleported to a spooky graveyard!  Peter Pettigrew (or Wormtail, or whatever the hell his name is) chops off his hand, cuts Harry's wrist for three drops of blood, and tosses it all (and a bone from Voldemort's Dad or something) in a pot with little Yoda Voldemort, who regenerates to his true form ...

A scrawny man with no nose.  Yeah.  After, what?  Five years and four movies, we finally get to see Voldemort and he's a scrawny man with no nose.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Voldemort does some mean stuff.  Harry escapes when the ghosts of his parents come to rescue him with the power of love or some crap.  He talks to Ron and Hermione for a while.  The movie finally ends.

Let me repeat (again): Bleargh!  This movie sucks my ass!  It keeps building up to something and not delivering.  Voldemort SUCKS!  30-40+ minutes are tied up in Ron and Harry trying to get dates and going to some damn dance.  I'm not kidding.  I'm watching a movie about wizards, so why is one-third of it about teenagers angsting about a dance?  Moaning Pedophile Myrtle trying to get some Potter action in the bathtub was just creepy.  And ... and ... gah, I just can't talk about it anymore.

I don't think I'll bother to see the rest of the Harry Potter movies.

Sorry, Harry.  I still like Chamber of Secrets!

[Dr. Kobb]

Best...movie review...ever !

[ThadC]

AW MAN!!!! I wish I hadn't read your review. I was looking forward to this movie, now I think I will p**s on it. I have been reading the series, and I really thought this one was going to be really good. Now my day is crap, and I have to start packing to move. Damned me and my curiosity!!!  hehe  I will probibly watch it anyway, but at least my expectations wont be too high now.

[2xSlick]

The movie becomes immensely more enjoyable when you realise that Voldemorte is the Red Dragon, Mad Eye is Brendan Gleeson, and Moaning Myrtle is a forty-year-old. The next two movies will be better because their social life pretty much now revolves around killing Voldermorte and the bad guys keep winning.

[SaintMort]

As a person who reads harry potter, This movie p**sed off all 10 of the harry potter fans I went and saw it with. It's one of those book to movie things where they manage to take a 37 chapter book and cut 30 chapters out of it. yes I know you can't have everything but 7 CHAPTERS! They linger on those 7 chapters like a bad fart lingers in a room (and they're protrayed badly as well might I add)

[Zapranoth]

My main complaint is that the movie doesn't really tell the story.  It shows some scenes (some better, some worse) but it fails to tell any cohesive story.  My wife and I are both Potter fans, and we both thought this movie sucked.

Would have been better to make two films, part I and part II.

Hopefully they will realize this before they attempt Order of the Phoenix.

[SaintMort]

that as the original plan but the director said that that wouldn't be necessary, what a moron he was

[Acidburn]

Hmmmm where to start......I completely agree.  I am a huge fan of the books. I read GOF for the second time before I went to see it just so I would really know what was going on.  OMG....they left out so much important plot points....
They seemed to think it would be ok to just change things and make them completely different then in the books.  Overall I was very very p**sed about this movie.  They didnt even go into what happned when Harry and Voldy  battled and why.   They  changed things that happend making characters do things that other characters were supposed to do... IE....Gillyweed.  They simply leave out characters that are important....They didnt have Serius come back to town which for OotP he has to.  Bah I could go on forever...it was like nobody even bothered to really read the book.

Ok end of rant....but yes I agree it sucked ass. :P

[ThadC]

I watched the damned thing anyway... wish I hadn't. I think we should b***h enough to the movie people for a remake, and they had better get it right this time or I will set my purple bunnies on them.

[Shadowphile]

You people are all on crack.

The movie was excellent, properly dark and highly entertaining.  Moody, as a character was well played and appropriately creepy.

I agree the moaning Myrtle scene was a little overdone (but very funny). The plot/scene/character changes were done to cut a huge book down to a usable size.   Two movies?  It would not have worked.  I'm glad the ELF plot was left out.  It carries no real relevance.  

My one complaint was with Harry's battle with the dragon.  They could have cut a large chunk of it out and used that time to include a few other omitted scenes.

And the 45 minute (be realistic it was no more than 15) 'get a date' sequence?  That is called character development.  It happens in all movies that don't star Chuck Norris, Wesley Snipes or Bruce Willis....

[Derf]

I finally got to see the movie this weekend. While it has some positive points (Mad-eye Moody, Lucius Malfoy, the dragons and a few other things), I was disappointed overall, mainly because so much was glossed over for the sake of time. I can understand leaving out the house elf angle, necessitating bringing Neville in to give Harry the gilleyweed. I can understand leaving much of the Tri-Wizard Tournament off screen (though I think that was a mistake, showing only Harry's involvement in each task for the most part). But I don't see how anyone who has not read the book will understand what was going on most of the time. Much was left out of Prisoner of Azkaban for the sake of time, but the movie told the story coherently enough for anyone to follow (with the exception of the whole patronus angle and the origin of the Marauder's Map).  In GOF, too much of the plot relied on people having read the book to understand not only the signifigance of the actions but also simply to follow the action.

On a less major note, it also bugged me that most of the magic done in the movie is presented as though those around had never seen magic done before: Dumbledore unveiling the Tri-Wizard cup jumps immediately to mind. These characters are all so familiar with magic that much of the theatrics would be totally unnecessary, especially from a character like Dumbledore. Also, I resented Snape being reduced to a comic character with only a handful of lines in the entire film (and few of them were important to anything in the movie).  As Shadowphile said, much of the movie was properly dark, but then the director would ruin it by inserting a sight gag (like Harry's pants catching fire when being chased by the dragon--ha ha ha, the fudge in Harry's pants is being burned up). The incongruous sight gags took away too much from the mood for my tastes.

I won't say the movie was worthless, but it was my least favorite of the series so far.

[dean]

Not a fan of the books, never read any, but I've seen the movies.

Goblet of Fire was my first Potter film on the big screen I've seen.

Sure it had some things going for it, but overall I wasn't too excited by it: technically speaking there was a lot of jumping from scenes where it seemed as if the director cut out a huge chunk of story and just quickly skipped a scene ahead or something.  I liked the darker aspects, but overall I was dissappointed about how much they didn't show, and I don't even know what happens in the book [come on, three seconds from each wizard with their dragons wouldn't hurt would it?!!]

The thing that perhaps annoyed me the most was the fact that the actor who played Dumbledore let his accent slip through way too many times, and just ruined the character for me [and yes the theatrics too, that was so silly]

Overall I liked akiraturbo's review a hell of a heap more than the actual movie, which isn't too bad, but I just couldn't help feeling as if when making it they thought 'we'll make a heap of money so who gives a rats.'

[Zapranoth]

The guy they picked to replace Mr. Harris (as Dumbledore) manages to perfectly miss the mark, in my book.  

:(

:(

:(

[akiratubo]

Let me say that I know I'm not the target audience for this movie.  Maybe if I were a 13-15 year old kid (and my personality a great deal different), I would have cared more about Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's personal problems.

However, I enjoyed the first three movies well enough and I'm not the supposed target audience for them, either.  They appealed to me because they were generally enjoyable fantasy films (COS even had giant monster action).

Goblet of Fire gave me absolutely nothing to enjoy.  More the shame because there was a lot of material there with so much potential.

In all fairness, I will admit that I genuinely enjoyed Hagrid's romancing of the giant lady.  All their scenes together were funny and touching.

[Tamamushiiro]

I'm a Harry Potter reader, and, yeah... this movie was pretty disappointing. Keep in mind that agewise I'm a part of the target audience: I thought the movie was... decent. That's all. I'm very annoyed that so much of the book was left out, as GoF was my favorite of the books so far, and that anyone who didn't read the books couldn't really understand what was going on. I was on the phone with my dad for a full hour explaining stuff to him that he didn't quite get.

Female characters:
I was annoyed with the depiction of Fleur Delacour as such a wimp. After being chosen as the champion for your whole school, you're taken down in two of three tasks? Nice. I was annoyed that half the time Hermione was okay, and the other half was this annoying whiny person who was very dependent. Bringing in the elf thing would have been annoying in the movie, and would probably also have just made Hermione be depicted even worse (Side note: J.K. Rowling sure does make the girls look bad for having said that she wants to make female role models.) Madame Maxime (giantess) was ugly. In the book she was supposed to be this beautiful French woman, just very large. I was annoyed by the Maxime/Hagrid scenes because we never got the backstory.

Male characters:
I... hate Dumbledore. And I agree with dean, the slipping accent was annoying to no end. I want Snape to go back to his menacing villainly ways, but am very pleased that Snape was the one who was first to say Harry should be offered up as bait. I'm annoyed that Sirius didn't have a bigger part, which will be very akward in the 5th movie. I'm p**sed that the kid who plays Ron has two facial expressions. Very annoyed by the date situation as well, and I'm glad that at very least everyone around Harry and Ron seemed annoyed as well. Man up! Geez. Also annoyed by their sulking at the ball. Mad Eye Moody should have been a little more bats**t crazy, in my opinion; he didn't quite push that far enough. Voldemort looked kind of like a monkey to me. If they were going to make him that skinny, he should have been bonier. They were going for snakelike and emaciated, but they got very creepy and scrawny.

Random:
I wanted to see the Quidditch World Cup. I want the Harry/Ron/Draco "Yo' Mama" sequence, but it wouldn't have made sense with how the Quidditch World Cup was set up. I wanted to see more mayhem / violence / destruction on the part of the Death Eaters, and I wanted to see more of them, instead of the 5 some shown in the graveyard scene. Points for giving them KKK hoods, -2 for the skull faces. That was just goofy. On the other hand, magnificent sets, props, costumes, and special effects.