Alien Abduction Checklist

Hmmm...allow me to have a whack at some of these:

*Have had unexplainable missing or lost time of one hour or more. - Yes. A few times when I was out drinking and...oh..."unexplainable", gotcha.

*Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, etc.) - I've got scars all over that I can't explain, some I can. This is proof that I've been abducted?

*Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window. - The damn cars coming down the hill all shine their lights in my window. That and also I think I have the Griswalds living across the street.

*Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life. - Yeah, I think I saw a UFO once. Proof of abduction?

*Have a secret feeling that you are "special" or "chosen," somehow. _ Yes, I am the Chosen One. Bow down before me, pee-ons.

*Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car) - Yep. A few times when I was out drinking when I was younger.

*Have awoken in the middle of the night startled. - Tell me, who hasn't?

*Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life. - Sure. Hate myself and always have.

*Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot. - So I'm strange. I also hunt ghosts. Does this mean I've been abducted by aliens and ghosts?

*Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night. - Most certainly!!! We've had topics on this beofre. Just look at all the "guests" watching us! Look at them, damn you!

*Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed. - I used to pick my nose when I was a kid and sometimes it was quite messy.

*Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained. - Sure I have. Oh, the "explained" thing again.

*Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body. - Two part answer. Yes, I had back problems one time when I was drinking and fell down the stairs. Also, many of us can probably agree that we will usually wake up with stiffness in a part of our body.

*Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems. - All the time. I work in a building that's full of dust.

*Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment. - Yeah, you deal with the witch doctors in Pennsylvania and you tell me that you don't have a fear of them...right.

*Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you. - My wife is always telling me what to do.

OK, basically I answered positive on many of the questions. Does this mean I've been abducted by aliens? Really? I believe in aliens and all but I'm still a little on the negative side when it comes to so many people claiming to be abductees. There are many things that can happen which are unexplainable but it doesn't mean aliens are behind it.