| WEBSITE | FILM(S) REVIEWED | EXCERPT FROM THE REVIEW |
| 3-B Theater | Piranha | A person can only scratch one's head and wonder why it took so long for film-exploitationeer Roger Corman to try and cash-in on the phenomenal financial success of JAWS. The man who slapped Carnosaur together to beat Jurassic Park out of the box-office gate waited almost three years before ripping off Bruce and the boys over at Universal. |
| The B-Movie Film Vault | Island Claws
Space Amoeba | Now here's where the movie gets re-eally interesting because the film finally delivers on the much promised giant crab. As Moody and the gang head out onto the town's main street, they fail to notice the very obvious and amazingly enormous crab just sitting in the middle of town. |
| Bad Movie Guy | Surf Nazis Must Die | Between the Death Wish-lite story and the sight of a bunch of rubber clad weirdoes running from an overweight old black woman, this movie can lose you entirely if you're not made of strong stuff! |
| The Bad Movie Report | The Horror of Party Beach | Perhaps the makeup guy, one day hosting a cook-out for his friends, had prepared the Hibachi to perfection, walked into the kitchen, and found his pet bulldog with the entire afternoon's supply of weiners crammed into its maw... and that was the most horrifying thing he could think of. |
| Badmovies.org | Brides of Blood | Uh, yeah...it is some pretty rough sex when the woman falls apart. I imagine that Hercules probably went through a couple of girlfriends before he got the hang of it, too. |
| Cold Fusion Video Reviews | Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island | In other words, in a movie which mainly exists for titillation, not only are the saucier scenes clumsily bowdlerized, but the unrelated footage used to fill in for the chopped-out sections actively distracts from the activities that are supposed to be the main audience lure. Welcome to the anti-sexy. |
| Darksider's Realm | Attack of the Crab Monsters | While unloading the boat, a member of the Navy crew falls out into the ocean. What I found particularly odd about this scene is the fact that the crew member fell off the boat two feet off shore and found himself under 6 or 7 feet of water. Either that island has one hell of a drop off or its plot stupidity. I pick the latter of the two. |
| Death By Cinema | Spring Break Shark Attack | It's no wonder this movie bombed. If aliens were to use this film as the only measure of mankind's success they'd probably scrap the invasion and use our planet as a giant urinal cake instead. The message here: Remember ladies, all men are bastards, so don't leave your Martini out of sight or baffled-looking jocks will run a train on your ass. I'm glad we can get such life-affirming messages from a film all about a bunch of losers being eaten alive by sharks. Thanks CBS. You're my hero. |
| Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension | The Beach Girls and the Monster | In any case, you can't say the movie doesn't live up to its title. Twelve seconds in and they've already shown beach girls and a monster, thus fulfilling any and all contractual obligations. Should the film get called on account of rain or something, you wouldn't have any grounds to demand your money back. |
| The KO Picture Show | The Calamari Wrestler | Throw in the fact that Miyako used to be Kan-ichi's lady friend, and we've probably got one of those "wrestler-woman-squid" love triangles that are so prevalent in Japan. |
| Lost Highway's B-Movie Reviews | DeepStar Six | An underwater military base is attacked by a mutant lobster from an ancient cavern in this low budget 80's movie. Can the star of the canceled TV show "My Two Dads" save the day? Don't hold your breath. |
| Mutant Reviewers from Hell | Point Break
Thunder in Paradise | And remember: for once, it's not the Hulkster and his 24-inch pythons you need to worry about, it's his damn boat. Because as the film's transcendent theme song informs us, mess with Thunder and you'll pay the price. Best believe it, brother. |
| Post-Apocalypse Films | Def-Con 4 | Here was a guy who was happy to kill people, and only really thought about survival and sex (like a cross between the artillery man from War of the Worlds and the Hog from Deadly Reactor) who suddenly changes into a team player... |
| SciFilm.org | Dinosaurus! | Unfortunately, a storm is rolling in and the tropical heat has begun to warm up the party. A chance lightning strike and O'Leary begins to wish he was a little more drunk...because everyone knows, lightning has an alarming tendency to bring things back to life... |
| Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard | Humanoids from the Deep | The newest residents to call the California town of Noyo home. Since they evolved right there in the area, they cannot be accused of illegally crossing any borders or taking away jobs from the locals, so that call to INS won't do any good. Just wait until they start applying for a driver's license, requiring medical care and insisting that local schools be bilingual! |
| Side Order of Ninjas | Piranha 2: The Spawning | More dive fu, Tyler and Anne plumb the depths to plant the charges. Piranha vision ensues. Our human heroes barricade themselves in the wreck to keep the piranhas out. |
| Stomp Tokyo | Terror Beneath the Sea | While heading out Ken suddenly realizes that the test site is right next to the "atomic waste center," which makes perfect sense. Explosives and drums of nuclear waste, what could possibly go wrong? |
| The Tomb of Anubis | Blood Beach
Death Curse of Tartu
Escape from L.A.
Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
Humanoids from the Deep (1996)
Leviathan | SEE a beach that eats people!
SEE a shapeshifting shaman killing young people!
SEE Kurt Russell surf!
SEE the kaiju volleyball!
SEE horny mutant salmon from death row!
SEE the 300th rip-off of Alien! |
| The Unknown Movies | Psycho Beach Party | Soon after, she finally gets the respect she craves from the other surfers and joins their gang, gaining the nickname "Chicklet" in the process. Everything should be fine, but soon a problem comes up - not just for her, but for her new friends. A serial killer is stalking and killing people close to Chicklet, and it seems to be someone close to Chicklet. Who could it be? |
| WTF Film | The Day The Fish Came Out
The Monster of Piedras Blancas
The Navy vs The Night Monsters | When one thinks "nuclear parable" a number of things might jump to mind - Henry Fonda from FAIL SAFE [1964], Peter Sellers as the inimitable ex-Nazi DR. STRANGELOVE [1964], or even the mighty lumbering GOJIRA [1954]. One thing that probably does not come to mind, however, is a triptych of Spanish dancers singing about nuclear weaponry dropping into the ocean as their castanets click at their sides. |
