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BODY MELT - 3 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1993 Body Melt Pty Ltd and Dumb Films/Australian Film Commission/Film Victoria.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Sam Phillips - Gnarly old Australian Cop, does not drink alcohol.
  • Johnno - Rookie cop, he has some affections for waterfowl.
  • Shaan - In charge of the Vimuville heath spa, her head collapses.
  • The Nobles - Family, dad has this horrid jogging suit (he turns into snot), mom's tongue chokes her, the son dies rollerblading, and daughter is left for the asylum.
  • Sal and Gino - Two young lads out to get laid, both fall prey to a random family of genetic freaks.
  • The Rands - Family expecting their first baby, she has some problems and her placenta attacks him.
  • Paul Matthews - Bachelor, not very hard to see why.
  • Dr. Carrera - Developer of Vimuville's amazing vitamins.
  • Pud - Dr. Carrera's partner at one time, stole a necessary ingredient of the superdrug.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

This movie is just plain ODD!

Vimuville is a drug company experimenting with new vitamins. Unfortunately, for the unknowing people experimented on, they do not work quite right. Prepare to see body organs and an esophagus more times than you might like - along with some dude gulping dishwashing liquid. There is also a group of freaks who are thrown in for no apparent reason other than to eat Sal and Gino. (They also kill a Kangaroo and eat the adrenal gland from it.)

Sam and Johnno finally pinpoint Vimuville for the disgusting meltdowns but not until every innocent bystander (except the Rands daughter) meets their end. Add to all this a techno soundtrack befitting a Tracy Lords' film and you're dealing with pure genius.

I really liked this movie. It was offbeat and kept me interested the entire time.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Australia looks just like Texas, but with alot of British-descended people.
  • Don't drink dishwashing detergent and drive.
  • Punk rocker chicks and bag ladies are not, repeat not, attractive.
  • Every movie needs a three-legged dog.
  • There are darn few normal people in Australia.
  • Inbreds eat people.
  • A woman's placenta is fully capable of self-locomotion and will harbor resentment against the father.
  • Snot is also mobile.
  • Masturbation may cause spontaneous penis explosion.
  • You can never get enough footage of an esophagus, Hollywood take note... ...Schindler's List, great movie but no esophagus.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Here we go with the porn music.
  • 6 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 11 mins - What the hell kind of jogging suit is he wearing?
  • 19 mins - The music in this movie is oddly arousing.
  • 22 mins - Why does this guy keep longing for ugly women?
  • 26 mins - Good grief! It's a whole colony of ugly bastards!
  • 34 mins - No, don't have sex with her, no, no, no, no,no,nonononono...
  • 39 mins - Dude just picked his wedgie.
  • 44 mins - She's massaging his rib out?
  • 58 mins - Enough with the porn music, I'm sore...

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note bodymelt1.wav Shaan's boyfriend: "The first phase is hallucinogenic, the second phase is glandular, the third phase is arrrrgghhhh!"
Green Music Note bodymelt2.wav Pud: "How many kids in your family?"
Gino: "Italians mate, you know spermatossa el'grosso."
Green Music Note bodymelt3.wav Dr. Carrera: "Up until their birth, babies are the ultimate parasite."
Green Music Note bodymelt4.wav Dr. Carrera: "The human body, at best... ...a neglected engine running on cheap fuel."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbodymelt1.mpg - 2.5m
Shaan's condition has become advanced; when the young Noble girl smacks her things take a turn for the worse. Okay, so Shaan's head collapses. That does not mean she is less attractive than before.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 4
Body Melt
Reply #1. Posted on March 31, 1999, 10:42:48 PM by celtsox@aol
      This movie was full of people related to Jeff Foxworthy, more rednecks than in my town. I need this movie!
Body Melt
Reply #2. Posted on June 07, 1999, 12:32:53 PM by A very dissapointed man
I read the review of Body Melt right here at Bad Movies, so I rushed out to find a copy.  Being in the UK (and having to put up with deleted films left right and centre)I located one and spent quite a lot of dosh on it.  Nevertheles, I put it on, surrounded by a few mates, telling them it's supposed to be really gory ... and ...?
WHAT A PILE OF s**t!  I couldn't believe my eyes - NOTHING happens for the first 80 mins, and just as it starts picking up - it ends!  Oh my God!  Okay, I'll let you off - the effects were s**te, so was the acting, and Harold Bishop from NEIGHBOURS says 'f**k!'.  Worth seeing ONLY for that.  However, you do only look at bad movies, and by my standards Body melt was Bad bad BADDDD!    
Body Melt
Reply #3. Posted on August 30, 1999, 03:35:28 AM by dannii@as-if.com
Ah, yes. Nobody makes crap horror movies like Australians (anyone seen Houseboat Horror?). Probably the most frightening part of this film is that most of the cast should have known better. A number of them either are themselves, have since become, or are related to fairly well respected actors. Surprisingly, Lisa McCune (Mrs Rand) has this film on her bio to this day, despite the fact that she has some REALLY big things on there otherwise, including a couple of Gold Logies (Ooooh! Aaaah!) for an ongoing role in an Australian drama series.
I really think, though, that I could have vomited a better treatment for this film.
It's worth noting the prominence of one name in the opening credits. Screenwriter, producer, music editor.....
Body Melt
Reply #4. Posted on November 08, 1999, 02:09:04 AM by gumby
This was worth it for the moment when that little s**t from "Neighbours" went SPLAT on the half-pipe when skateboarding. Lost opportunity, too.I wanted to see a Daddo die horribly and nastily on screen.
Body Melt
Reply #5. Posted on July 28, 2000, 12:23:29 AM by FargoU
I liked the movie.  Its not about horror with this movie.  This movie has a deeper purpose. It describes the effects of taking spa drugs.

    the end
Body Melt
Reply #6. Posted on August 24, 2000, 04:38:19 PM by D.A.F
I'm glad that i didn't eat anything before watching this movie....It's so GOD DAMM GROSS! whoever directed this movie must have had alot of special effects stuff left over! btw....great review on the movie
Body Melt
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Nightflyer
I'm Australian and I was imbarrased by this movie, I thought it was the worst peice of garbage I have ever seen, and I was shocked it got picked up for release on video.


Body Melt
Reply #8. Posted on March 30, 2001, 04:15:05 AM by Curt
This movie is perhaps thefunniest ive seen. Harold Bishop swearing was worth watching alone. The weird inbred family had me in stiches, and what was with that really big bloke and his very high pitched voice? Shear brilliant and undoubtedly ORIGINAL!!
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