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CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH - 2 Slimes
Rated PG-13 (There is nudity)
Copyright 1988 Gaucamolle Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Dr. Margo Hunt - Shannon Tweed! Professor of Feminist Studies.
  • Bunny - Every liberated woman's nightmare, but she wants to be a feminist. This girl has more outfits than you can shake a stick at.
  • Jim - Bill Maher! Inept guide who once had a one night stand with Margo.
  • Dr. Kurtz - Another feminist, author of "Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men." Throws herself into a pool of Piranhas in the end.
  • Colonel Mattel - Head of the National Security Commission on Avocado Affairs. He has one eye.
  • Piranha Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with guacamolle dip.
  • Barracuda Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with clam dip.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Talk about strange and wonderous things! This film is full of camp, not only is southern California transformed into wild avocado jungle but it is inhabited by man eating feminists! Shannon Tweed, whose breasts have starred in numerous films, is a teacher of women's studies! Then of course there is Bunny, this girl is every teenage guy's dream and every feminists nightmare - but she wants to be a progressive woman. There are plenty of little gags here and there, most of them involving Maher and Bunny being boneheads. Dr. Hunt is recruited by the U.S. Government to make liaison with the Pirahna Women and hires Jim as her guide. After encountering vicious hippos, catfish, and Donnahews (men who knit and cook) the explorers discover the Pirahna women are led by a savage ex-feminist and poised to wage war! Bunny nearly joins the cannibals but is unable to complete the initiation rite, which involves her making love to then consuming Jim. Everything works out in the end though, Kurtz is slain, Jim and Bunny marry, and Dr. Hunt returns to her college. A fun film with plenty of women running around in leather loincloths and tops.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Most of southern California is virgin jungle.
  • Girls just want to tear men into strips and eat them with gaucamolle dip.
  • An hour and a half of feminine nonsense punctuated with half-nude women is tolerable.
  • Bill Maher is the last real man but he looks fairly effeminate in a white neck kerchief.
  • There are leopards living wild in California.
  • Lost female tribes speak French.
  • If given a choice between Bill Maher or Shannon Tweed in their underwear I would pick the latter.
  • Bunny has a damn lot of clothes, what is up with this girl?

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 3 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 4 mins - Pretty pale skin for living in a jungle her whole life.
  • 14 mins - Now this is a shirt.
  • 18 mins - That's a pretty small barrel for a .44 Magnum, maybe it's a 44 Magnum divided by 2?
  • 19 mins - Bunny in one of many outfits, where she keeps them nobody knows.
  • 38 mins - Mallards in a tropical rain forest?
  • 46 mins - Just conjuring up cases of beer huh? But why Old Milwaukee? Ugh.
  • 75 mins - The compound must be right on the international date line, one side is day the other night.

Quotes: 

  • Bunny: "I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes."
  • Bunny: "I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note cannibalwomen1.wav Col Mattel: "Avocados are vital to this nation's security interests. With the communists already in control of Nicaragua and Guatemala and El Salvador strife with revolution California is the last secure supply of Avocados in the free world. We're on the verge of a major Avocado gap!"
Green Music Note cannibalwomen2.wav Margo: "Dr. Kurtz? Internationally famous author of 'Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men?'"
Green Music Note cannibalwomen3.wav Bunny: "Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy I wish that he would tie me up with red licorice ropes and then spank me...and then he'd eat the ropes... and then he'd free me...and then we'd make love while the philharmonic played 'Bolero.'"
Green Music Note cannibalwomen4.wav Jim: "Okay, let's see...so she's going to make love to me, that's, that's good - but she's going to kill me and eat me, that's bad."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipcannibalwomen1.mpg - 2.7m
If there is ever a moment to capture, it is Bill Maher accusing Shannon Tweed of being a cannibal feminist. He makes a convincing argument.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5]
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #33. Posted on November 11, 2008, 09:40:13 AM by WilliamWeird1313
Has anyone actually had an avacado? They're horrific  Buggedout

I try to avoid eating any food that isn't unnatural, unhealthy, toxic, processed, junk food.

The above statement is meant to be a joke... but it is truer than I'd like to admit.
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #34. Posted on November 14, 2008, 06:10:29 PM by BoyScoutKevin
Actually, I find avocados make excellent guacamole, which goes wonderfully with Tex-Mex. I also like to eat 'em, peeled, deseeded, and with a little bit of lemon or lime juice on 'em. But they are alot of work to process, so I don't have 'em that often.

Now, would someone explain to me how this thread got off of the topic of films and onto the topic of food?
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #35. Posted on November 15, 2008, 01:32:19 AM by ToyMan
unmashed, plain, ripe avocado slices are pretty much the greatest topping for carne asada tacos, man. that's all i'm sayin'...
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #36. Posted on August 15, 2010, 12:37:17 AM by SoCalGuy
Someone should mention that Dr. Kurtz is played by Adrienne Barbeau. It's a veritable breastacular!
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #37. Posted on August 15, 2010, 02:59:19 AM by judge death
 loved the slam this movie did on Phyllis Schaffly.
Re: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #38. Posted on December 22, 2011, 03:55:00 AM by ChunkeeOne
I liked it. I thought I was going to have an aneurism when my mom recorded over it with an episode of "Little House on the Prairie" because I couldn't imagine anyone every putting it out in stores again. I mean, I liked it but it's not for everyone. It's one of those movies that I'm glad they made back then, instead of now. If it were made these days, they'd probably try to make it more serious and heartfelt. I can just imagine the crappy reviews? And it's not fair. Yes, I'm a proud '80's & '90's kid and I am unashamed.

What were the choices again? Avocado & crab (or was it clam) dip?
I'd be torn on the subject to... I'd probably have to alternate. But then again, I wouldn't have the choice. Only the women get the dip. The men get slavery, sex and then butchering, followed by cannibalism, of course. A life I think I could have led and died happy in... 
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