|Copyright 1980 Bloodstar Productions Ltd.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Captain Ashland - It is he, GEORGE KENNEDY. This man can not have a soul.
- Trevor Marshall - Richard Crenna! (The Colonel from the Rambo movies!) Second in command of the cruise liner and our hero.
- Mrs. Marshall - Trevor's wife, that's her contribution to the plot.
- Robin and Ben - The Marshall kids, Ben must have a bladder infection since he's always looking for the restrooms.
- Nick and Lori - Two young lovers, she gets tossed overboard by Ashland and he is drowned in a cargo net by the same.
- Jackie - Lounge comic who is hoisted overboard by the evil ship.
- Mrs. Morgan - Old woman who is out to jump Ashland's bones, eats poisoned candy.
- Death Ship - A haunted Nazi interrogation vessel.
I spent about thirty minutes washing my mouth out after watching this crap. It made me feel cheap and used, and that's not easy to do to a guy. Not only does it have George Kennedy, he 's dressed up like a Nazi ship captain no less. It's poetic I'll admit, didn't know they made uniforms that big. I think there was a typo in the script, what was intended to be "Death Shit" became "Death Ship" and therein lies the tragedy. Ashland is the captain of a cruise ship everyone else is on (Marshall being the XO) when it is rammed by the cursed vessel. The survivors climb aboard the brooding freighter and soon begin encountering mishaps. Ashland also seems to be half possessed by the Nazi captain's spirit, the other half is just Kennedy's bad acting. After everyone else is dead the Marshalls flee overboard with a rubber raft, leaving Ashland to face the terrors awaiting his soul. There is exactly one cool part to this film - and it's when we keep seeing shots of the Death Ship, which is in bright sunlight, on a supposed collision course with the cruise liner, which we can only see it's lights BECAUSE IT'S PITCH DARK. Make sure you have lots of alcohol on hand before popping this tape in the VCR my friends.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Cruise ships cannot afford decent bands.
- Making out with some guy wearing a rubber mask drives women wild.
- Cruise ships don't carry lifeboats, they do carry bright red boxes equipped with oars.
- Do not pee on the deck of a ghost ship.
- The open ocean is very calm and has muddy water.
- Things are much more threatening when filmed upside down.
- Kids will quite happily drink brown water.
- Nazi's could not cook worth a damn.
- George Kennedy can run pretty fast for a fat old guy.
- 1 min - George Kennedy? For THE LOVE OF GOD NO!
- 8 mins - I think these ships are about to collide on the international dateline. It's day for one and night for the other.
- 13 mins - This is stock footage from "The Poseidon Adventure" or something.
- 15 mins - How the heck did this eclectic group survive? They were on different parts of the ship!
- 26 mins - Somebody go and turn off the winch then swing him over the deck, jeez.
- 57 mins - I'd be a serious "we're all sleeping in the same room" dude.
- 62 mins - Hey, naked Lori! But she's covered in blood from the shower and can't get out! Why is she spinning around?
- 68 mins - Slow motion scene! Why? Arrgghhhhh!
- 73 mins - How the heck did Nick get outside? Bad editing! Bad!
- 89 mins - Damn you George Kennedy, and damn me too...
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Ashland: "Signal him to alter course." |
Sailor: "We have sir!"
Ashland: "Well signal him again damn it!"
||Mrs. Morgan: "This old ship seems to have a life of it's own."
||Robin: "I'm scared." |
Ben: "You're scared? I'm scared shirtless."
Robin: "It's shitless, oops!"
||Ashland: "This ship needs blood Marshall..."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|The "International Dateline" explanation might be a little silly, but it is the best I can do. Do you mean that I should honestly believe the director did not care enough about this movie to at least film two ships in the daytime?
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