EEGAH!
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| Unrated
| | Copyright 1962 Fairway International.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Eegah - Richard Kiel! Ancient caveman, the only water available to him was full of sulfur and it evidently prolonged his life. Needed to grow a bulletproof vest and gills to survive this movie.
- Roxy - It's the old "woman in her thirties trying to pass for a teenager" gag! I love that one!
- Tom - Fugly guy (verified through several female sources) who is Roxy's boyfriend. With his singing voice you have to wonder if he cracks more mirrors or glasses each day. I'm taking bets.
- Mr. Miller - Roxy's wealthy father. Not great at photography, not great at writing, not so good at walking either.
- Boredom - As much a star of this film as the four jokers listed above.
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Eegah? More like YEE GODS! Repeated over and over in mockery of that female parrot in your high school play. Good Lord what did the human race do to deserve this movie?
Few things make me shudder like a really horrid song, call it the artist in me screaming for a true and final death, but guitars should require a background check and waiting period. For some strange reason you will look forward to Tom flaying the musical beast, they tend to be the few times you are not bored to tears. Okay, enough advertising masochism for now, the next sentence (or paragraph, depends how creative I can get) will describe the plot.
It turns out a towering caveman (read: unwashed Richard Kiel wearing an animal carcass) has been dwelling in the desert near Palm Springs since the dawn of time. By a freak accident (read: the plot) Roxy is the first modern human to encounter him, although "almost running him down because the stupid Neanderthal is standing in the middle of the road" is more accurate. Mr. Miller decides to go looking for the living fossil and does indeed meet Eegah. Unfortunately he trips during the encounter and manages to inflict the same amount damage on himself that you would expect when jumping off a two story building onto concrete. When dad fails to show up the two lovers go looking for him in the dune buggy.
Of course Eegah grabs Roxy when her hideous boyfriend isn't looking and carries the girl back to his cave. There she finds dad, looking like he went three rounds with Mike Tyson, and a number of mummified cavemen! It's only a matter of time before the hulking brute grows tired of introducing Roxy to his dead ancestors and making her drink sulfur water. He realizes that this is a woman and he should do, um, something with her. Everyone knows that after being sexually inactive for several hundred years it takes some time to get back in a groove, but right after he decides ripping her clothes off is a good start Tom shows up. Talk about a mood breaker!
Despite a knuckle biting chase with everyone in the dune buggy and the caveman on foot the movie doesn't stop there, it just keeps on giving. You still get to watch what happens when Eegah follows the trio into Palm Springs. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Musicians take their sacred oaths using Elvis Presley albums vice bibles.
- Gas station attendants are expert trackers.
- Falling down on soft sand will knock you unconscious and break your arm.
- Women do not mind when their boyfriends sing about other girls.
- When people are having fun they say, "Weeee!"
- Daffodils grow wild in arid regions.
- False beards are hard to cut.
- All the hip kids bring their parents to parties.
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- 2 mins - One has to wonder how Egyptologists feel about painting movie credits on mummies.
- 4 mins - Hehehe! Someone is shining a spotlight in front of that car to emulate the headlights, but why?
- 14 mins - Obviously a remote area, there are bulldozer tracks everywhere.
- 16 mins - I don't know why Eegah being frightened by the helicopter makes me laugh, it just does.
- 26 mins - Your girlfriend's name is "Roxy" you moron, not "Vicki" or "Valerie."
- 35 mins - Eegah and Ro-Man are roommates it seems.
- 42 mins - Where did that big bone come from? Did he kill a cow, um, that was living in the desert?
- 47 mins - Horny toads!
- 90 mins - Genesis, chapter four, verse thirty-two?
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | eegah1.wav
| Mr. Williams: "Honey, a prehistoric monster is a rather large order to swallow."
Roxy: "Dad, I didn't say he was a monster, he was a giant! You know, a caveman!"
| | eegah2.wav
| Eegah talking.
| | eegah3.wav
| Mr. Williams: "Eegah!"
Roxy: "Is that his name?"
Mr. Williams: "It might be, that's the word he says most of the time."
| | eegah4.wav
| Roxy: "I'm not going to leave you to get your head bashed in, my father didn't raise me that way."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Eegah!
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jase
I agree with Demonicuss
You should watch the MST3K "Eegah!" version.
"Did i mention my tyres are filled with water?"
An absolute gem...
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Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jordan Garren
OUCH! Even with Joel and the 'bots (MST3K) EEGAH! hurts....A LOT! You've already read about the hell Andrew Borntreger went through watching it, Un-MST-ified. So don't watch it without the company of the Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, and Joel Robinson! I'll now leave you all with some of my favorite parts of this Mistie Episode:
The opening credits where we're treated to the cast and crew's names crudely painted on the mummified remains of cavemen. Crow blurts out, "Welcome to the Crypt...heeheehee...we've...DUG something up for you...heeheeheehee...Stay Tuned for "Dream On"..it's the BREAST SHOW on Television....heehee...kill me."\\
A random voice yells "Watch out for Snakes!" this becomes a favorite phrase for Joel and the bots (even into the next episode of "Mitchell").
Tom Servo refers to Arch Hall Junior (Roxy's ugly boyfriend) as a "Cabbage Patch Elvis."
Roxy is picked up by Eegah so much that Joel says "she should have a handle!"
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Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Creeps
I'm a big MST3K fan...but, this one was still painful for me. Not Manos painful, mind you. Then again, nothing is Manos painful. Still, there were quite a few laughs to be had. And, I would like to add that I hate Arch Hall, Sr. And Arch Hall, Jr. Hate them. A lot.
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Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
Richard Kiel finally comes out of the cave to witness horrible society, and the requisite dumb humans come to make his stay as uncomfortable as possible. Out of all the girls the sad caveman could fall for, he picks the one who looks most like an MTV teenybopper, with brains to match. The MST3k treatment is almost, but not quite as hilarious as Kiel's dime-store beard attached to his head w/a string.
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Reply #13. Posted on August 01, 2001, 12:16:20 PM by lostmissy
the bone probably came with the skin of whatever he wears in the movie (bear?, bison?,? in the desert?) This movie is just one of those magic moments of sheer disbelief that only a really bad, really really cheap monster movie can create. And the song (dedededumdum!) If you are looking for the trifecta of bad movies, I would nominate plan 9, robot monster and Eegah!
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Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by manda
I also saw the MST version, and my best freind and i laughed our asses off the whole time. It was hilarious!! *EEGAH CHACKA EEGAH EEGAH EEGAH CHACKA* another of my favorite parts was when they were going "rooooooxxxxyyyy!"
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Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Loser
This is the funniest movie I've eves seen in my life, I'm gonna try to have a bumper sticker made for me that says "honk if you love eegah" References from the movie are now common in my everday life: If I'm looking for someone - Roxxxxxyyy!, When I do something stupid - "Sorry, sir; but I'm kind of an idiot." Damn, I just wet myself
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Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Priss Asagiri
You wouldn't get me to watch the Non-MST3K version even if you paid me to see it. I just loved it when Eegah knocked out poor Arch Hall Jr.(Gag!) with one punch. I was hoping that Eeegah would have bludgeoned the "Cabbage Patch Elvis" as he was singing a song in the middle of the desert, with musical and vocal accompaniment mind you, just to put us out of our misery. And watch out for snakes!
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