Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! B-Movie Review

"A website to the detriment of good film"


Custom Search

HOME

Badmovies.org Home | B-Movie Reviews | Reader Reviews | Capsule Reviews | TV Show Reviews

Badmovies.org Home | Slime Awards | Finding Bad Movies | Random Thoughts | Banners

FASTER, PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! - 4 Slimes

Unrated

Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 27 January 2007

The Characters:

Varla - Mean! This woman will judo chop the snot out of you if you let her. You know, her appearance is exotic enough to make me wonder about her origins. As in pointing at her while screaming, "An alien!" Dies from internal injuries.
Billie - Hangs around with the group just for kicks; she realizes the others might be too vicious for her tastes. A thrown knife ends her ride on this wild road called "Earth."
Rosie - Mean, but not likely to attack unless Varla gives the order. Stabbed multiple times in the gut.
Linda - Being this ditzy is dangerous.
Tommy - Give a hand to Varla for her reaction to this guy's fashion sense. I wanted to beat him up too, but wonder if I could have approached close enough. Those shorts are a bane to me, like garlic is to a vampire. Maybe I could just throw rocks at him, until he (and those shorts) went away.
The Old Man - What desert ranch would be complete without a mangled old pedophile? Tries to play chicken with a car and goes to the big wheelchair race in the sky.
The Vegetable - Large of body, mighty of strength, and easily controlled. Defeats a car, but dies doing it.
Kirk - Well, out of the ranch dwellers, one of them had to be a complete human being.

The Plot:

Ah, this is a title I remember fondly from B-Fest 2000. The projectionist encountered a technical error that led to the top part of the screen being cut off. So, for something like fifteen minutes, the only thing we could see of the actresses was from the chest down. This is quite amusing, especially when you have been watching bad movies for twenty-four hours.

An opening narration describes a growing problem in society: violent women. The speaker talks about how they are still soft, supple, and smell like gentle females, but beneath that inviting exterior is a raging torrent of violence. Now, I have known a couple of rough and tumble girls over the years. After several hours sweating on the back of a motorcycle or working out, they do not meet stereotypical standards for the olfactory receptor. The three women in this movie do make use of an improvised shower - after several hours spent racing in their cars, fighting, and go-go dancing. Somehow, I doubt that they smelled like lavender and honey.

By the way, have you ever been to a strip club and encountered another patron who kept screaming, "Go, baby, go!" at the dancers? That is where we first see the girls, shaking everything while one chap yells himself hoarse. They usually throw people like that out the door.

With the dancing stage miles behind them, Billie pulls off the road to take a swim. Varla and Rosie also stop, because a little dip was not on the schedule. The trio's leader is annoyed with Billie; she commands her girlfriend to go in after the wayward blonde. The resulting catfight riles Varla, forcing her to assert her superiority over the others by playing chicken, two on one. Both of the challengers veer away at the last second, kicking up dust from the dry lakebed used as their arena. Rosie is unsettled by the close brush with death, while Billie pulls out some beer and begins to shimmy and shake.

Rolling up in a fast roadster come Tommy and Linda. The young man is interested in running a few time trials in his racer, while his girlfriend is rather...bubbly. She wants to talk to Varla and the others, tell them about all the superficial things in her life, forget to start the stopwatch for Tommy when he begins his run, and moan over letting her man down. Do you know what I mean? Do you? Do you? Do you, doyou, doyoudoyou? Egad.

Predictably, Varla is unimpressed with the pair of "regular" citizens. She challenges the boy to a race and resorts to dangerous tactics when it looks like he will win. Spun out by the near miss, Tommy comes running after Varla switches targets to Linda. Unfortunately, the femme fatale has wound herself up and only violence will satisfy her desire. She attacks Tommy while Billie and Rosie restrain Linda. The fight ends with the sickening crack of the young man's spine breaking. His panic-stricken girlfriend is tossed into Varla's hot rod and heavily sedated as the three women flee the scene.

Varla's reasoning in kidnapping Linda is never explained. She does not attempt to play with her toy, nor does she mention ransom, so it is a mystery why Linda did not find herself also dead and stuffed into Tommy's car. Anyway, during a routine stop for gasoline, Varla finds exactly what she is looking for: an old recluse with a huge stash of money that he keeps somewhere on his remote desert ranch. All of this information was unexpectedly provided by the gas station attendant. Mr. Exposition could have saved time by pointing at the Old Man and saying, "Look, the perfect victim!" to begin with.

The Old Man and his two sons live in the middle of nowhere (goodness, but this film painfully reminds me of Twenty-Nine Palms, CA). To avoid detection, Varla's gang does not enter via the driveway; instead, the three women drive across the open desert and cut a barbed wire fence to enter the rear of the property. They set up shop near a rusting water tank, giving Billie a place to shower while Varla looks around. She spends some time spying through a window before being discovered by Kirk. People do a fair bit of sneaking around during the movie and are more successful than the audience would expect, especially considering the empty setting and broad daylight.

It is obvious that the three women have stumbled into something dangerous. One question that begs to be answered is if they are more dangerous than the Old Man and his giant son. The Vegetable (not my nickname for him, I got it right from the credits) does what his father tells him. To the detriment of many, the Old Man's mind was also twisted by the railroad accident that ruined his body. As the movie progresses, we get the idea that the old man likes to touch pretty young women and to goad his ox of a son into touching them. Unfortunately, junior does not understand restraint; he "plays" with the girls until they stop moving.

Speaking of which, the sight of all that muscular boy flesh sets off Billie's libido. She can only think about getting him alone and doing what bad girls do with handsome, but brainless, men. Varla stays more focused, because she wants the money. Her barely disguised eagerness to find something alerts the Old Man's suspicions, so Varla tries seducing Kirk. Works pretty well, too (Kirk's always have a problem with alien women), though he recognizes her as little more than a feral cat in a woman's skin. After some feeling out by the opposing sides, a memorable country dinner is attended by all present, including a frightened, but unbound, Linda. The Vegetable eats several pounds of fried chicken, while everyone else exchanges far-from-harmless banter. "Would you like another helping of veiled meaning?"

Following dinner, Linda makes an escape attempt. The first to find her are the Old Man and his proxy sexual assault machine. The terrified young girl is fortunate that beef for brains realizes fondling a girl to death is wrong. The Vegetable pauses long enough for Kirk to arrive; he temporarily defuses the situation. The reprieve does little good, because Varla has reached the end of her patience and boils over, killing Billie in the process. Nearly all of these characters are going to Hell, together.

Around the middle of the movie, I suddenly realized that I am used to a lot more "exploitation" in my exploitation movies. By that, I mean bare-chested females. (Before some of you get all huffy, remember that this is a Russ Meyer film. It is not as if I am pointing out a dearth of breasts in "Schindler's List.") A lot of the racy shots lend themselves more to titillation, rather than exploitation. Cleavage is abundant, but "Baywatch" had as much, if not more. The interesting part of this is that I did not feel cheated; it was simply surprising.

Things I Learned From This Movie:

The aerodynamics of 1960's convertibles was so perfect that the driver's hair was barely affected when traveling at 60 mph.
There is something worse than golf pants.
Judo chops come in batches of ten or more.
The World is going to Hell in a hand basket, because of Democrats and women's rights.
Trains are a leading cause of impotence.
Bisexuality is like an AM/FM radio.
Back in the old days, women took, "There is so much of you." as a compliment.
Before Pitocin, they used the old pickup truck and railroad tracks trick.

Stuff To Watch For:

5 mins - Experience the savagery of women with sand in their pants!
16 mins - "If you turn hard enough right, you will find yourself going left."
25 mins - Too bad it was not an electric fence.
28 mins - I think that he has his words crossed.
35 mins - It's coming right at us! Filling the screen! How does she keep those so white?
57 mins - I am going to have to remember that pickup line.
60 mins - Good throw.
81 mins - Do not let her get started with the judo chops. Once she starts, the chops don't stop.

Quotes:

Varla: "You can still climb in that kiddie car and take a hike. Unless you can fight better than you can drive!"
Old Man: "You were too rough the last time. You gotta be more careful, boy. When you hurt somebody the authorities get aroused."

Audio clips in wav format

SOUNDS

Starving actors speak out

	File	Dialog
	fpussycat1.wav	Opening Narrator: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to violence - the word and the act."
	fpussycat2.wav	Billie: "Look, me Jane, you Tarzan. Now, why don't you drop that tree you're holding and let's grab a vine and swing a little, huh?"
	fpussycat3.wav	Old Man: "What could I do? I am tied to this chair for life!" Varla: "Better you should be nailed to it! How long has she been gone?"
	fpussycat4.wav	Kirk: "What he could be is your son." Old Man: "Yeah, he's my seedling. I can't deny that, but he ain't no son to me. He's a piece of mutton, a blob of flesh."
	Theme Song	Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

Click for a larger image

IMAGES

Scenes from the movie

Watch a scene

VIDEO

MPEG video files

	fpussycat1.mpg - 3.2m
	Tommy finds out the hard way that, not only is Varla violent, she is also dangerously proficient in unarmed combat. Once he knocked her down with the sucker punch, the young man should have kept at her.