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HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1987 New World Entertainment Ltd
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Sam Hell - Roddy Piper! The most fertile man left on Earth after WWIII.
  • Spangle - Sandra Bergman! (You know, the blonde girl from "Conan the Barbarian") She is a "Medtech" officer or something.
  • Captain Devling - Evil human who is selling weapons to the frogmen. Shot by Sam.
  • Centinella - Very sexually aggressive girl who is the ambulance gunner. Yes, the pink Medtech ambulance is equipped with a M60 machine gun.
  • Looney Tunes - Old man, Sam and him go back a long way. Get's shot.
  • Arabella - Frog woman who is sworn to battle against Commander Toty. Has a drill bit shoved through her chest.
  • Bull - Henchman to Toty, a very violent hopper. Roddy suplexes him to death!
  • Commander Toty - The king of Frogtown. Knocked off a cliff by Sam.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

What can I say? It's a movie all about Roddy Piper's genitals and violent bipedal amphibians, pretty much sums it up. Nuts - Frogs.

Anyway, Earth has a nuclear war (pretty common plot) and a good deal of mankind is rendered infertile (still fairly common) by the exchange. Sam is a petty criminal who narrowly misses some serious bodily harm at the hands of Captain Devling (mean police/guards/military - very common) when the Medtechs take charge of him. Seems they are very interested in Roddy Piper's sperm count (now THIS is a new plot idea) and offer a pardon if he agrees to impregnate women in the wastelands. (HEHEHEHEHEHE!)

Soon Sam and Spangle are on a mission to rescue fertile women held captive by Commander Toty in Frogtown. In the midst of all this they fall head over heels in love with each other. Good grief. There are some amusing props, not the least of which is the electric truss thing Sam wears to protect and monitor his family jewels. When he is bad Spangle uses the truss to shock his nads, and it beeps when he gets too far away from her. (Again more nad zapping.)

Spangle's erotic dance for Commander Toty which ends with him yelling, "You have aroused the three snakes!" is not to be missed. The verbal imagry is all there; anybody else out there see Legend of the Overfiend? If the idea of a slobbering toad attempting to mount Sandra Bergman with his tri-barrel-schlong-of-doom scares you then DO NOT watch that movie. We never have to see the piece(s) of equipment in question, only three disturbing lumps in his clothing. No, I don't know if coitus with a frog is the cause of genital warts...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • After a nuclear war sperm is da bomb!
  • Don't piss off a woman with a medium machine gun.
  • Having a monitoring device, complete with nut shocker, on your package, SUCKS.
  • Seeing a girl strip is less appealing when she's wearing really thick glasses.
  • Women in the military have camoflage lingerie.
  • Leading a woman around by a chain collar and leash is instant "Happy Thought Land."
  • If you're going to be sleeping with mutant frog girls keep a bag or two handy.
  • Being run through with a sword will not incapacitate you.
  • Having five women to knock up is pretty daunting.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - Did that masked guy just ribbet?
  • 12 mins - A pink ambulance with a M60 mounted on it.
  • 21 mins - She worked "the flap" and it sounded like a suitcase lock opening.
  • 37 mins - A deserted refinery. Why is it that every city on Earth looks like a deserted refinery after WWIII is done?
  • 52 mins - That sounds just like Captain Devling.
  • 54 mins - Yikes, chainsaw! Common problem Bull, they always run out of gas when you are trying to dismember the hero.
  • 71 mins - Are they taking mortar or artillery fire? Oh, it's a recoiless rifle... ...but those don't impact like that...
  • 75 mins - Sam! What are you kidding? This is a bad movie, shoot the motionless bad guy.
  • 87 mins - Special thanks to Fred Olen Ray huh? That explains volumes.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note hellfrog1.wav Medtech: "Mr. Hellman, I can understand why you're so popular with the ladies...you've left a string of pregnancies everywhere you've been."
Green Music Note hellfrog2.wav Sam: "Hey ladies, you just about got my ass shot off back there! Now we're going into hostile mutant territory at full throttle. Damn, I hope you know what you're doing!"
Green Music Note hellfrog3.wav Commander Toty: "Dance for me!"
Green Music Note hellfrog4.wav Spangle: "Stop!"
Sam: "Why?"
Spangle: "You gotta to save yourself for fertiles."
Sam: "I have enough."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphellfrog1.mpg - 3.0m
Spangle's dance has the (un)desired effect on Commander Toty. "You have aroused the three snakes!" Aiiiieeeee!

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3]
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Hadrian Wolff
Awesome movie! It was the last movie i watched before i went off to boot camp. While at Parris Island I swore when I got my  ten free days before MOS school. I was going to rent that movie and have Hungry Howie's pizza like I did the night before I left. But wouldn't you know it? The video store got baught out and the new place got rid of it. p**sed me off. But oh well. I'm still looking for a copy.

Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Albert
My stepdaughter played one of the passives in this movie.  

I told her that it was a "Class Z Stinker"
Re: Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #19. Posted on November 22, 2008, 11:00:43 AM by CptHook
I have a turkey called 'Mystery on Monster Island' on right now. I'm not sure how people like Terence Stamp and Peter Cushing got sucked ito making this fiasco, but what tied it to 'Hell Comes to Frogtown' was the reuse of the frog's costumes for the villains here. I keep waiting for a "ribbit" to come from behind one o' these masks.

Re: Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #20. Posted on February 15, 2009, 12:59:40 AM by KRD
In fall 1972, the writer-director of this film, the late Donald G. Jackson, was working for an auto bumper plant near Detroit, while making Super 8 films and publishing a film and comics fanzine called Finders Keepers. I had flown to Detroit for a sci-fi convention, he picked me up at the airport, and we spent hours in his car in rainy freeway traffic, him interviewing me on tape (I was only 18 but had already made and screened several films) as he drove us to the convention. I also took dozens of photos for his zine at the convention. He was a fascinating fellow, with a unique vision and great passion for films and filmmaking.

Those were the days...   
Re: Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #21. Posted on February 11, 2011, 10:32:33 AM by bqueen
hi love the review just wanted to point out it's Sandhal Bergman not Sandra,  she kicks piper's ass
Re: Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #22. Posted on June 04, 2013, 11:39:18 AM by Rev. Powell
Wow, if you can channel your inner 13-year old boy this is probably the greatest movie ever made. Piper's job is to travel the countryside sleeping with beautiful women and killing the occasional frog. Not a bad gig, and it comes with government benefits!
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