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KRULL - 3 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1983 Barclays Mercantile Industrial Finance Limited
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Colwyn - Heroic prince who wishes to free his world from the evil Beast. He is also made out of something fire retardant.
  • Lyssa - Princess who dearly loves Colwyn, even though she has known him for about one hour and it is an arranged marriage.
  • Ergo - Inept sorcerer who has some ego problems.
  • Ynyr - Ancient wise man with darn little common sense. Dies after he runs out of sand. (Go watch the movie and stop scratching your head over what that means.)
  • Torquil - Bandit and robber, he does not really exhibit any good qualities, but Colwyn likes him for some reason.
  • The Cyclops - Powerful warrior who can see into the future, unfortunately the only thing he can see is his own death. Ends up as a one eyed pancake.
  • Kegan - Liam Neeson! One of Torquil's fellow bandits who has a wife in almost every village. Shot by a Slayer.
  • The Widow of the Web - Once beloved of Ynyr, she has been sentenced to life imprisonment for killing his son. Eaten by a giant spider.
  • Turold - Colwyn's father, the late king.
  • Eirig - Lyssa's father, another late king. (In case you missed it, I'm not talking about punctuality.)
  • Rhun and the Merry Men - The rest of the bandits, just here so someone can die every other scene or so.
  • The Emerald Seer and Titch - Old man and his little apprentice, the seer is killed and replaced by a servant to the Beast.
  • The Slayers - Army of armored creatures which serve the Beast. When you kill one red special effects go off and it's skull splits open, then something nasty burrows into the ground.
  • The Beast - Conqueror of worlds, ruler of the known galaxy, but I've seen piles of sticks with better skill at romance. Roasted alive by Colwyn.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

If you were any sort of fantasy film lover alive during the 80's it is impossible to imagine that "Krull" did not grab your attention at the video store. Not only does it have an impressive cast (so many of these people appeared in other films, though I only mentioned Liam with the "!"), there are swords, lasers, monsters, and even a remote control 10,000rpm throwing star! Coolness!

Along the lines of plot, well the film is a textbook example of some evil power stealing the hero's true love and him fighting to gain her back, with some sidetracks to show just how fantastic the setting is. Even though the Beast is a towering reptile monster it desires Lyssa to be his bride, she is a little unnerved by this. (Not the least of which would be consummating the event, yikes!) Slayers take her prisoner and leave Colwyn for dead, but the prince is saved by a wise old man and easily gathers a party of loyal friends to assist him in attacking an impregnable fortress.

The special effects range from downright ludicrous, such as the amazing flying Clydesdales scene, to exceptional. The stop motion spider that guards the Widow is a gorgeous piece of work. There is nothing like watching a convincing arachnid scaled to the size of a small house. Most of the acting I can do without, but Ergo was my favorite character. When not bumbling spells and turning himself into a goose, the little guy is extolling his own virtues, which leads to some amusing descriptive phrases.

No matter what "real" critics say, you can not get me to hate this film.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Women can make water catch on fire.
  • Advanced alien armies, which have conquered the known galaxy, use horses for land transportation.
  • Heroes are made from asbestos.
  • When traveling as a flaming meteorite one should avoid ponds or other bodies of water.
  • Kings carry master keys to every lock in their kingdom. (Which probably work on chastity belts too.)
  • Spider web sounds just like wind chimes when you shake it.
  • Beauty might not be skin deep, but love sure the heck is.
  • Cyclops are made out of Kevlar.
  • Boomerang throwing stars, that you intend on chucking at some slimy alien overlord, should have a nonstick coating.
  • Marriage vows are based on a grisly way to flame broil the bride and groom's enemies.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Advanced enough to have propane torches, but still using bows and swords...
  • 16 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A HAY CART!
  • 22 mins - Colwyn is really spry for having a laser lance pierce his shoulder. Oh, rock climbing now!
  • 54 mins - Great idea Beast, keep traumatizing her with weird visions, I can see this being a successful marriage.
  • 56 mins - Hehehe! He actually stood up in the quicksand for a moment.
  • 58 mins - Everyone is darn clean after wading through all that quicksand.
  • 74 mins - The phrase you are looking for is "Oh shit!" What did you expect was living in that huge web anyway?
  • 84 mins - Why didn't you get a weekly schedule or something? That way they would know when the fortress was visiting some local area.
  • 91 mins - Holy blue screen Batman!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note krull1.wav Ynyr: "This it was given me to know, that many worlds have been enslaved by the Beast and his army, the Slayers."
Green Music Note krull2.wav Ergo: "I am Ergo the Magnificent! Short in stature, tall in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision, and I do not travel with peasants and beggars. Good bye!"
Green Music Note krull3.wav Torquil: "I don't kill men without good reason."
Green Music Note krull4.wav Ergo: "My name is no jest, beanpole. It's all very well to have a short name when you're twenty feet tall, but small people need large names to give them weight."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipkrull1.mpg - 2.3m
Colwyn vs. the Beast.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8
Re: Krull
Reply #41. Posted on January 18, 2007, 12:47:59 AM by Wally
This was one of the first movies that I went to see with some friends and unsupervised by a grownup. Its been so long that I can't remember anything about the storyline. Thinking back, none of us knew what was going on while watching the film. A classic 80's dud, I must find a copy. Smile
Re: Krull
Reply #42. Posted on April 07, 2007, 10:48:58 AM by D-Man
Krull is a very interesting film.  On some levels, I find it commendable that they were going for some original ideas, and it showed in a lot of spots.  On the other hand, I just couldn't get over some of the FX that didn't quite work out, such as Colwyn's confrontation with the beast. 

Plus the film's simplistic plot and it's run of the mill "Love conquers all" theme didn't help to hold my interest much in a lot of it.  It's a decent enough popcorn film, but I don't quite get what all the fuss is about.  And remember, I'm a child of the 80's as well.  The Glave was cool, no doubt, but you didn't see enough of it in action.  I spent the whole movie wondering when Colwyn was actually gonna use the damn thing, then he just pulled it out, cut through a wall, embedded the thing in the Beast's chest...and that was it. 

I do love the James Horner score though...I love hearing anything of his from before he started doing that boring, faux-celtic garbage in films like Titanic.  We need more rousing, bombastic film scores these days to cut through all the pop-inspired treacle, especially since Basil Poledouris is dead now (God, I miss him so much...  Bluesad  )
Re: Krull
Reply #43. Posted on July 12, 2007, 01:42:23 PM by HarlotBug3

Unlike Beastmaster and Conan, Krull just seems to come out of nowhere, a giant budget somehow drawn into the whirlpool generated by an insane orgy between a renaissance fair and a PBS period mystery series. So drama and DND geek at the same time.

I'd always watch it when it came on TV, fascinated by what I couldn't put into words as a kid, a movie that 'got made despite itself'.

Also one of the few fantasy/swashbucklers where more blood and boobies just wouldn't have fit.  Question

Worth watching, for better or worse.
Re: Krull
Reply #44. Posted on July 17, 2007, 08:38:58 AM by BoyScoutKevin
The darn thing about this film is that you watch it. And you watch it. And you scratch your head. And you wonder why you like it. But, you do.
Re: Krull
Reply #45. Posted on July 18, 2007, 11:31:14 AM by Flangepart
A young pastry chef and his kingdom of dougnut magicians are attacked by the evil "Baker of Souls" and his minions filled with the vile "jelly of hell".
Go see : KRULLER!
Re: Krull
Reply #46. Posted on July 24, 2007, 09:19:22 AM by Lucky
Loved this movie as a kid, seen it in the theatre, great the way they staryted out so many and slowly got picked off one by one going to the castle. Best part by far is when the cyclopse gets crushed by wedging himself in the door of the castle so everyone could get through to storm it. Blew me away as a kid those types of films they seemed to stop producing them after this that? I do agree the beast at the end was a letdown, still two thumbs for this 80's kid.
Re: Krull
Reply #47. Posted on June 29, 2008, 11:13:31 AM by The Rude Dog
Siskel & Ebert shredded this film. I guess they thought better sci-fi was on the horizon. WRONG.
Re: Krull
Reply #48. Posted on July 10, 2008, 06:21:15 PM by BoyScoutKevin
Siskel & Ebert shredded this film. I guess they thought better sci-fi was on the horizon. WRONG.

Which is why I never paid any attention to the opinions of Siskel & Ebert, and when Siskel died, I paid no attention to the opinions of Ebert & Roeper. If I had, I might never have seen two of my favorite films: "Krull" and "Lair of the White Worm."
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