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LAKE PLACID - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1999 Phoenix Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Kelly Scott - Bridget Fonda! Bitchy paleontologist who seems to attract severed heads, though I'm pretty sure she's not happy about that.
  • Jack Wells - Bill Pullman! Fish and Game representative and the voice of reason.
  • Sheriff Hank Keough - Unhappy man, despite seeming to be fairly bright and witty everyone throws the Neanderthal jokes his way.
  • Hector Cyr - Oliver Platt! Rich guy who loves swimming with crocodiles, he is a grade A nut case.
  • Mrs. Bickerman - Betty White! Cantankerous (And I mean Cantankerous.) old woman who has been living on the lake for years, she's also been feeding cattle to the crocodile.
  • Deputy Gare - She falls for Hector, I have no idea why.
  • The Crocodile - A thirty foot monster which has migrated to Maine...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The technology and actors recruited for these things might keep getting better, but one look at the plot and you have to wonder. All of our characters gravitate to the backwoods of Maine, bent on investigating the strange death of a diver studying beaver populations. Pretty soon the truth is apparent, for some reason an enormous tropical crocodile has made the lake his home. Not only that, but the darn thing seems to be diabetic or possibly warm blooded. (Which would explain it's high rate of metabolism and ability to survive winters in Maine.) So we have Jack and Sheriff Keough running around trying to kill the thing, Kelly is mostly on the conservation side, (Save the fig bucking crocodile!), and Hector probably wants to build a shrine. That last gentleman on our list is a piece of art by the way, when he's not setting snare traps (Which might seriously screw with a human, but not some reptile weighing a few thousand pounds.) he's ranting about them being "dragons." True, the English description of such monsters would closely match a giant crocodile, but the beast in question would have eaten Saint George's horse, then the unhappy knight. After a few close calls, one too close for a deputy, they decide to trap the monster. Just see the plan going all wrong and everyone running all over the place trying to avoid the snapping jaws don't you? You'd be absolutely correct, a few even blaze away with rifles to no effect. Which leads me to a final question, ignoring the strange shotgun/antitank weapon Sheriff Keough owns, why didn't anyone have a weapon capable of killing this thing? I'm certain a good rifle, such as a 30-06, 300 Win, or even 458 Win, would have done just fine.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Crocodiles have a difficult time with bite sized divers.
  • Sexual harassment laws are starting to border on ridiculous.
  • Field work is not a requirement for a degree in Paleontology.
  • It's hard to remember someone in a good way when all you have to cry over is a big toe.
  • I don't need to watch some overweight county sheriff, with bed head and in his underwear, take a leak.
  • Crocodiles like to play with boat anchors.
  • Never try to commiserate a friend dying with some mental guy.
  • Cows can't fly.
  • Radar will detect submerged crocodiles.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Sort of a large and still lake for beavers, oh never mind, they're just mops of hair pulled along on a string.
  • 13 mins - What sort of firearm is that again?
  • 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SHERIFF!
  • 26 mins - That pickup line worked? I am going to Maine...
  • 32 mins - Whole lot of love here, whole lot of love.
  • 35 mins - It carefully gutted and ate the moose?
  • 44 mins - Well, it just ate the only Grizzly living in Maine...
  • 49 mins - How did they get all the groundwater out of the print so they could make the cast of it?
  • 52 mins - I never thought I'd hear Betty White say that.
  • 61 mins - Let me remind you, it recently tried to eat your helicopter.
  • 69 mins - Kelly was submerged for just under one minute. Not bad for someone who does not exercise and is full of adrenaline.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note lakeplacid1.wav Kelly: "I don't do field, and even if I did, Maine? I'm allergic to timber!"
Her Boss: "Kelly..."
Kelly: "I am not going to Maine."
Green Music Note lakeplacid2.wav Jack: "Do you know how your husband died?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes, I killed him!"
Jack: "You killed him?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes!"
Green Music Note lakeplacid3.wav Mrs. Bickerman: "If I had a dick this is where I'd tell you to suck it."
Sheriff: "Did the crocodile kill your husband?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Yes, but it was all... ...it was a mistake."
Kelly: "A mistake?"
Green Music Note lakeplacid4.wav Hector: "Let's not overlook the fact that he didn't eat me."
Jack: "'Cause he just ate a cow, stupid!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplakeplacid1.mpg - 1.8m
Crocodiles love the taste of bear.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7
Lake Placid
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Liv
   I *loved* this movie. At first I was annoyed with all the many inconsistencies, but then I settled in to watch it, and figured out that this is most definitely *not* a movie to take seriously. As long as you don't try to take it too seriously, it really is entertaining. I believe that all the things that were wrong were there and so blaringly obvious because that was part of the joke.
   Betty White is great in this, she delivers those lines with so much ease and so naturally that you can't believe she is the same lady who played Rose on Golden Girls.
   You are right though about the grizzly in Maine being unlikely,and it is more than a bit ridiculous for a croc to swim across an ocean and to survive in cold Maine, and that it's metabolism seems exraordinarily high in this movie. Crocs have a much slower metabolism, and they will die if it's cold enough, and cold enough to kill a croc is in the forties (F) if I am not mistaken. *Some* crocs can swim in salt water, they are even called salt water crocodiles(duh). *But*, when he killed the moose, he would have eaten the softer insides first and not eaten the head because of the antlers. That gun, I don't know what that was, but yes, it would have to be something much stronger than a 30-06 or your standard hunting rifle. Have you ever touched a crocodile or alligator's hide? Even on the babies, it's tough and difficult to penetrate, at least on the back and head, and the larger the croc, the tougher the hide is. For that matter, alligators raised on farms for their hides to be used to make belts, boots and bags are not allowed to grow larger than four feet before they are killed and skinned because their skin would be too tough to use after that.
   A couple of things that were wrong in the movie but you didn't mention were; Hector said that they can't see well under water because it's too dark. Most crocs are nocturnal and see better under water or in the dark than in the light, which leads into the other thing wrong since the crocodile fed in the daytime in the movie.
   Something that I thought seemed strange was that in the scene after the crocodile got the bear, Brigit Fonda said that it was an Asian crocodile because it had oval scales. When did she get the chance to see the scales and where did she get the cool headedness to notice the shape of the scales, even if the crocodile had sat still or moved slow enough that she could see them?
Lake Placid
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dano
This movie does not belong on this web site.  A good bad movie is hilarious for a variety of reasons, and almost all the movies here are good bad movies.  Lake Placid was a bad bad movie.  The only hilarious thing about it was watching Bridget Fonda's career spiral slowly downward, downward, downward...

The guy who played Hector is a jerk.
Lake Placid
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Joey
I always wondered how you kill a crocidile using a helicopter. At least Oliver Platt wasn't as bad as he was in "Ready to Rumble".
  The best is to slow-mo the Croc eats Bear scene to see the bear actually writhe in pain. Ever for CGI thats pretty harsh.
  Don't forget the promo shot of the croc in the back of the truch being taken to the set used as a actual part of the film, classic.
Lake Placid
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by AlphaWoolf
I hated this movie.  The opening sequence was good, but it falls apart very quickly.  Why?  Because the cast and crew were obviously playing this for camp value.  This becomes abundantly clear with the sledge-hammer presentation of Betty White swearing like a sailor.  That's the whole point of this movie - to hear sweet golden girl Betty White say the "F" word over and over again.  Once was shocking indeed, but the movie just keeps her going far too long.  The episode of the X-Files with that aligator eating people in a lake was far scarier than this waste of film.  Not "good bad", not "funny bad", just "stupid bad".  If you want a laugh, check out Tobe Hooper's CGI-infested "Crocodile".
Lake Placid
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by John
This flick blew. I can't believe I paid to see it in the movies what, three years ago? The bear scene was cool, though. Check out 'Deep Rising' for a good film in this genre. I liked it when the woman got hold of by the ass when sitting on the bowl and got sucked down by the monster!
Lake Placid
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jim
Lake Placid seems to be an appropriate title, as this movie is boring as hell. Giant killer crocodile screams excitement, so why the boring flick? There's a reason why Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda haven't been seen in any decent movies and you're looking at that same reason right now. Lake Placid is a yawn-fest that should be skipped.
Lake Placid
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dan Lyon
The Richard Dreyfuss Jaws type guy was a bit much to accept graciously at times, but Betty White made up for it. A keeper for the collection; actually paid for a brandy-new copy (on sale...on vhs...at Wol-Mert, 'cause they have those lo lo prices).
Lake Placid
Reply #32. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Apollyon
Anyone who doesn't like this movie does not appreciate just listening to a film's dialogue. The dialogue and character interaction MADE this movie...otherwise, it's just like something you'd see on Sci-Fi on a Saturday night "starring" some TV actor you haven't seen in 10 years. Also I was relieved to find that it wasn't another example of the typical brainless "I want lots of fake blood and dead people" crap that one all too often finds in movies of this caliber. 8/10, I say, for solid entertainment.
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