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LAKE PLACID - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1999 Phoenix Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Kelly Scott - Bridget Fonda! Bitchy paleontologist who seems to attract severed heads, though I'm pretty sure she's not happy about that.
  • Jack Wells - Bill Pullman! Fish and Game representative and the voice of reason.
  • Sheriff Hank Keough - Unhappy man, despite seeming to be fairly bright and witty everyone throws the Neanderthal jokes his way.
  • Hector Cyr - Oliver Platt! Rich guy who loves swimming with crocodiles, he is a grade A nut case.
  • Mrs. Bickerman - Betty White! Cantankerous (And I mean Cantankerous.) old woman who has been living on the lake for years, she's also been feeding cattle to the crocodile.
  • Deputy Gare - She falls for Hector, I have no idea why.
  • The Crocodile - A thirty foot monster which has migrated to Maine...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The technology and actors recruited for these things might keep getting better, but one look at the plot and you have to wonder. All of our characters gravitate to the backwoods of Maine, bent on investigating the strange death of a diver studying beaver populations. Pretty soon the truth is apparent, for some reason an enormous tropical crocodile has made the lake his home. Not only that, but the darn thing seems to be diabetic or possibly warm blooded. (Which would explain it's high rate of metabolism and ability to survive winters in Maine.) So we have Jack and Sheriff Keough running around trying to kill the thing, Kelly is mostly on the conservation side, (Save the fig bucking crocodile!), and Hector probably wants to build a shrine. That last gentleman on our list is a piece of art by the way, when he's not setting snare traps (Which might seriously screw with a human, but not some reptile weighing a few thousand pounds.) he's ranting about them being "dragons." True, the English description of such monsters would closely match a giant crocodile, but the beast in question would have eaten Saint George's horse, then the unhappy knight. After a few close calls, one too close for a deputy, they decide to trap the monster. Just see the plan going all wrong and everyone running all over the place trying to avoid the snapping jaws don't you? You'd be absolutely correct, a few even blaze away with rifles to no effect. Which leads me to a final question, ignoring the strange shotgun/antitank weapon Sheriff Keough owns, why didn't anyone have a weapon capable of killing this thing? I'm certain a good rifle, such as a 30-06, 300 Win, or even 458 Win, would have done just fine.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Crocodiles have a difficult time with bite sized divers.
  • Sexual harassment laws are starting to border on ridiculous.
  • Field work is not a requirement for a degree in Paleontology.
  • It's hard to remember someone in a good way when all you have to cry over is a big toe.
  • I don't need to watch some overweight county sheriff, with bed head and in his underwear, take a leak.
  • Crocodiles like to play with boat anchors.
  • Never try to commiserate a friend dying with some mental guy.
  • Cows can't fly.
  • Radar will detect submerged crocodiles.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Sort of a large and still lake for beavers, oh never mind, they're just mops of hair pulled along on a string.
  • 13 mins - What sort of firearm is that again?
  • 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SHERIFF!
  • 26 mins - That pickup line worked? I am going to Maine...
  • 32 mins - Whole lot of love here, whole lot of love.
  • 35 mins - It carefully gutted and ate the moose?
  • 44 mins - Well, it just ate the only Grizzly living in Maine...
  • 49 mins - How did they get all the groundwater out of the print so they could make the cast of it?
  • 52 mins - I never thought I'd hear Betty White say that.
  • 61 mins - Let me remind you, it recently tried to eat your helicopter.
  • 69 mins - Kelly was submerged for just under one minute. Not bad for someone who does not exercise and is full of adrenaline.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note lakeplacid1.wav Kelly: "I don't do field, and even if I did, Maine? I'm allergic to timber!"
Her Boss: "Kelly..."
Kelly: "I am not going to Maine."
Green Music Note lakeplacid2.wav Jack: "Do you know how your husband died?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes, I killed him!"
Jack: "You killed him?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes!"
Green Music Note lakeplacid3.wav Mrs. Bickerman: "If I had a dick this is where I'd tell you to suck it."
Sheriff: "Did the crocodile kill your husband?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Yes, but it was all... ...it was a mistake."
Kelly: "A mistake?"
Green Music Note lakeplacid4.wav Hector: "Let's not overlook the fact that he didn't eat me."
Jack: "'Cause he just ate a cow, stupid!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplakeplacid1.mpg - 1.8m
Crocodiles love the taste of bear.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7
Lake Placid
Reply #33. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by JT
4 stars! There is no way that you can call "Lake Placid"
a B-Movie. The Category just doesn't fit. I mean, sure, what are the chances of a 30 ft. Asian croc living in a lake in Maine, but you gotta give some credit to Betty White's acting & the sarcastic dialogue. I also admit there aren't any chances of Mrs. Bickerman being so psycho she'd keep the croc as a pet. How can you love something that killed your husband? Then again, I wonder if Mrs. B. ever liked her husband. Hmmmmm....
Lake Placid
Reply #34. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Austin
This movie wasn't all that bad, and I think that was its downfall, IMO.  Sure, it has a giant alligator and Bridget Fonda, and the acting wasn't horrible, like you'd expect from a movie of this type (they sprung for higher-budget actors than they probably should have), and some of the death scenes were approaching the over-the-top gore that I've come to cherish.  It just didn't quite go there, and therefore it lacks any special redeeming quality.  What it really needs is a robot.  Like a giant alligator fighting robot (A giant mechanical Steve Irwin, maybe? haha).  And more blood.  The alligator needs to go raid the nearest town for no apparent reason other than to add more bloody death to the movie.  It's just too serious of a movie.  The dialogue WAS good, though.
Lake Placid
Reply #35. Posted on June 02, 2004, 06:03:34 PM by Lois
I thought this was a somewhat enjoyable movie, considering its simple (and overused) plot. I loved Betty White as the feisty old woman feeding her pet crocodile the way normal people dote on a dog or cat.  Everything else in the movie was predictable, though. We have the sheriff who wants to kill the creature, the scientist who wants to capture it for research, the usual crocodile-eating-people scenes, etc. I found myself rooting for the creature--as I often do in monster movies--because frankly, some of those people were too stupid NOT to die!
Lake Placid
Reply #36. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by
A predictable "Jaws" stlye film but enjoyable none the less.
**1/2
Lake Placid
Reply #37. Posted on November 07, 2004, 07:13:46 PM by giant claw
Cant you remember another simular film THE GREAT ALLIGATOR? and all those romers about alligators in the New York City sewers? the old story of how people would visit florada and bring baby alligators back with them then they would grow tired of them and flush them down the toilet and so began one of the most weidest urban legends around and any way getting down to the point the director and producer of this wretched movie should be thrown to the crocidiles
Lake Placid
Reply #38. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Sora the B-Movie Alchemist
I saw this movie on AMC, and I wasn't disappointed. Old people eaten, big ass gators, it had it all.

Violence: ***
Goofiness: ***
Monster: *
Actors: *
Overall: **
Lake Placid
Reply #39. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by bettercheddar
Lake Placid is hilarious! I really like this film - the fun factor is off the charts. It was not made to be taken seriously. C'mon - listen to the dialogue. My favorite character is the Sheriff "That's sarcastic, right?" - And Fonda with the heads!!! Too funny.
The whole premise of the film is soooo totally silly - that's what makes it so much fun to watch. I felt sorry for the bear(Just really bothered me - the bear's death moan just sends shivers down my spine. Finally, Betty White was a hoot - f**kMEAT OMG! I never would have believed it had I not seen it or heard it! Just totally unexpected!
If you understand that from the get-go this film is lampooning monster movies from beginning to end, there is no way you cannot enjoy it. I give it two thumbs up!  
Lake Placid
Reply #40. Posted on October 25, 2005, 03:48:08 PM by mark707
TWO words this movie is watchable  BETTY WHITE and iam also a fan of bill pullman ...
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