Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


LASERBLAST - 2 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1978 Selected Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 9 April 2001

The Characters:  

  • Billy - Young man who is picked on by almost everyone in town, until he finds a powerful alien bazooka. Zapped, but not incinerated, by the aliens (so Kathy can weep over his body).
  • Kathy - As you can guess, this is Billy's girlfriend. She loves her little toad.
  • Chuck and Froggy - Town bullies, why does the big tough guy always keep a loudmouth worm around? Both are zapped.
  • Jeep and Ungar - Deputies that act like jerks. Deputies always come in pairs, an imposing corn-fed one and another who is skinny. These two fit that stereotype nicely. Blasted to donut heaven.
  • Mr. Craig - Government agent, though we never find out if he has any inkling of his own purpose in this film. Investigating aliens is like that, you don't need any clear goals.
  • Doctor Mellon - Roddy McDowall! Just a simple country doctor, not afraid to cut metallic growths out of his patients' chests either. Vaporized before the malpractice suits can begin rolling in.
  • The Colonel - Keenan Wynn! Kathy's grandfather was in the military as an officer. Has his moments of clarity, but for the most part he is participating in Operation Alzheimer's.
  • The Stop Motion Aliens - Either intergalactic police or bounty hunters, most likely the former.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

I've come to the realization that law enforcement is universally incompetent, as in police all over the universe. As the credits finish we see a sick man stumbling across the desert, carrying the Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction and pendant. Judging from the skin color and hygiene, he looks like some species of living dead. Within moments a spaceship passes over, then lands and a pair of armed (as in carrying weapons) stop motion aliens exit the craft. Despite his impressive blaster the zombie/vampire/mutant fellow is no match for the aliens, he becomes a man-shaped scorch mark on the ground. The aliens hear a small aircraft approaching, so they board their spaceship and depart. In the rush something is forgotten; the pendant and cannon are still lying on the sand.

Everything that transpired over the last few minutes should get your mind working on some questions. Under what circumstances did this weapon come to Earth in the first place? What are the aliens saying? How in the world did the aliens forget to grab or destroy the cannon and pendant? You are never going to find out, though some inventive guessing can help relieve the frustration.

Meanwhile, we are introduced to the tragic hero of our story. Billy will never be addressed by the ghastly apparition of a bloody child, but I still think he fits the moniker nicely. Seems like the entire town pushes him around in one way or another, whether it be Chuck's taunting or Ungar loading on the speeding tickets. Ah, a persecution complex in full bloom, the exact person you should avoid giving a laser cannon. Of course, that saves him lots of time studying explosives and building a cabin out in the woods (or desert, as the locale dictates). Why couldn't the Unibomber find one of these? Would have made him more interesting, a kook with a beard is not interesting to me.

Billy finds the cannon while wandering around the desert (nobody picks on him out there). We can assume that sooner or later he was going to explode, but finding the Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction hastens things along. I'm of the mind that the pendant is the real problem, it seems to power the weapon. Plus, when the young man is wearing it, he turns into a zombie/vampire/mutant thing. Contact with the artifact is not healthy at all, leaving a strange scar on Billy's chest that appears to be flesh transformed into some strange metal.

Our alien buddies are happily motoring along back home to Alpha Centauri when their leader makes a videophone call. Just like before, we can't understand a darn word they are saying. Scenes of Billy finding the blaster are broadcast, plus the leader seems a little agitated. I'd bet the gist was, "You idiots! You forgot to get the Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction!" Tweedle Dzzzrkkk and Tweedle Dvvvrkkk turn around, obviously on their way to prevent Billy from using his toy to do something unpleasant.

Too late! Looks like the pendant completely short circuits the superego, because the normally quiet main character is blasting anyone who ever wronged him! Even Dr. Mellon is killed to prevent him from examining a sample of tissue taken from Billy's chest. You may notice that "Laserblast" yields a huge number of random acts of violence, especially at the end. This is the possessed teenager wandering through town, destroying everything in sight. Okay, so maybe he was just demolishing temporary structures in some alley, but you understand the intent.

The aliens are exceptionally neat and definitely make the movie, even their strange squawking speech is well done. Other than the stop motion I am at a loss for words, because the plot is simple. "Kid with a (valid) persecution complex finds a Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction and blows things up." That's the plot, everything else is padding and it feels like padding.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Mothers rarely tell their teenage children before traveling out of the country.
  • We put old people in homes for a good reason.
  • Vans are not made for racing.
  • Men: if a female refuses your advances you should toss her into a pool.
  • Hitting someone with the mesh of a tennis racket will knock them unconscious.
  • "The Morning Uglies" are caused by close contact with alien artifacts.
  • There is always somebody with a bigger gun.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Opening credits - You can tell which people changed their names to work in show biz.
  • 10 mins - Billy is running around without a shirt, but Kathy has on a full flannel nightgown. I'm confused, what is the ambient temperature?
  • 20 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST SHRUBS!
  • 32 mins - Hey chubby, the reason you don't have any friends is that you sit around eating cake when they come to visit.
  • 37 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CAR!
  • 49 mins - It's almost as if they were trying to pad the film by showing this footage again...
  • 58 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PINBALL MACHINE!
  • 72 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A "STAR WARS" ADVERTISEMENT!
  • 73 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A TELEPHONE BOOTH!
  • 77 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A LETTER DROP AND A NEWS STAND!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note laserblast1.wav Colonel: "Everything is hush hush! Operation Sand Dust, hush hush! Everybody connected with it, hush hush! Everybody except me..."
Green Music Note laserblast2.wav Alien speak.
Green Music Note laserblast3.wav Chubby Girl: "They tell me cake is bad for me. Well, what about radiation?"
Green Music Note laserblast4.wav Kathy: "Someone blew up Chuck's car."
Billy: "What? Who would want to do a thing like that?"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
Image


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplaserblast1.mpg - 2.7m
The stop-motion aliens were chasing this wretched creature when it ambushed them. He puts up a good fight until the advanced bipeds start returning fire, then it's all over.

 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited (United States)

Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 ... 6
Laserblast
Reply #1. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by DC
This movie I saw as a young kid.  I remember being freaked out at seeing Billy's face.  Years later (age 27), I saw it on DVD fro less than $10!  How could I go wrong!  Oh the memories are all back!

AND WHAT A HORRIBLE MOVIE THIS WAS!  But I still love it!  :)

Who knew that in 1985 there would be Laserblast II?  And I can't find it anywhere!  Has anyone seen the sequel or know where I could see it?
Laserblast
Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Hankster
  I remember the time I saw the Laserblast flick on T.V. For a child of age 8, I was completely freaked out on the cannon's sound and destruction to the scary face the dude  changed into.So I was always eager to see again, but just no luck..And to think that their is a fanclub.. I thought, I was the only one...
Laserblast
Reply #3. Posted on May 11, 2001, 03:32:09 AM by Steve Bentley
Once again, Andrew brings up memories from the past...I saw this at a drive-in with my mother when I was 12.  The triple-bill was Laserblast, Death Race 2000, and Flesh Gordon (Yes, I know, but my mom was incredibly liberated and very cool, she still is)  I remember really liking this movie as a kid and especially liking the aliens.  After reading about it and watching the opening scene, I really need to find it for my ever growing collection.  Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Andrew, it reminded me to call my mom and say thanks.
Laserblast
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Rock
I caught this movie on the USA network back in the day when they had Commander USA's Groovie Movies(man I miss that show!!).  I'm proud to say that I purchased it through Amazon and watch it quite often.
Laserblast
Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Andrew K
I first saw this on the Detroit Channel 50's Saturday Shocker, and thought it was the most depressing film ever made-but then they played The Incredible Melting Man the following week. Both movies feature my favorite Seventies "Scream Queen," Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith. A regular in Jonathan Demme films, I'm pretty sure her that P.T. Anderson based the Rollergirl character in Boogie Nights on her (Anderson is a major Demme fan). Smith was also in my all-time favorite exploitation film, Massacre at Central High, a terrific cross between Animal Farm and the Breakfast Club that deserves a DVD release.
Laserblast
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by David Fullam
Laserblast is a movie that always seems to escape me. I remember when it came out to the theatres. I was going to get my parents to take me to see it. Never happened. I was never able to find it on video and only caught the tail end of it when it hit one of our local chanells many years back. I've always wanted to see it, if only for the stop motion aliens. Either Jim Danforth or Dave Allen (or maybe both) worked on the creatures. They teamed up years later on "Caveman." I thnk they also did work on "Flesh Gordon." I believe the music in Laserblast was reused for "Robot Holocaust."
Laserblast
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Josh
I'm a huge fan of B Movies, but this was just too far.  I watched this with my typical group of friends I always watch lame movies with, and none of us could keep watching it.  Actually, before it ended we all fell asleep.  This has never happened before!  Still not as bad as the movie "Slackers" though.  We stopped that one after half an hour just because of its retardation.
Laserblast
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by dominique
sorry  i give you this message in french, i don't speak english.
j'ai adoré "laserblast" au moment de sa sortie et j'ai été très longtemps amoureuse de Billy Duncan (Kim Milford) j'ai loguement cherché sur le net après des photos du film sans jamais les trouver et voilà que je tombe sur ce site. Il est formidable. merci a vous tous.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 6
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.