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THE LAST DRAGON - 3 Slimes
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1985 TriStar Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 31 January 2002

The Characters:  

  • Bruce Leroy - Pious student of the martial arts searching for "The Glow," a manifestation of perfect kung fu.
  • Laura - Vanity! Where in the world did she get those plumb line earrings?
  • Master - Friendly little fellow with a strange sense of humor. His mom lives in Miami.
  • Richie - Our hero's brother. Maybe he should avoid landing on fire extinguishers.
  • Angela - I didn't think that a middle aged woman would make a good pop star. I was right.
  • Johnny Yu - Student at Leroy's dojo. He does not know how to fight, but has found that attackers will sometimes flee from a screaming Asian man.
  • Eddie Arkadian - It seems that the mob is moving into the arcade business.
  • Rock - Arkadian's muscle, a failed prizefighter. The man's idea of fashion is plaid, just plaid.
  • Sho'nuff - This is one big angry dude! A brutal wielder of kung fu, he will stop at nothing to be the undisputed master.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Learning and study are certainly worthwhile pursuits. Still, there comes a time in everyone's life when they must cease to be just a student and make their own contributions. This is the dilemma facing Leroy when the movie begins. Having practiced and studied for years under the Master's patient tutelage, he has finally attained the pinnacle of skill possible while a student. To finally achieve "The Glow" he must reach the final level on his own. The sudden lack of supervision terrifies Leroy and he begs the Master for guidance. With a sly look in his eyes, the old man fishes out a suspicious looking charm. There is another who might assist Leroy in getting "The Glow" and the amulet will prove his sincerity. The young disciple's relief at the news is almost overwhelming.

The next scene takes us to a movie theater where a rowdy crowd is watching "Enter the Dragon." Interruptions and distractions are rampant. If the people setting up a boom box and dancing do not distract you then the guy who leaps into the air and crushes it will. As if all that wasn't enough, the self-proclaimed shogun of Harlem walks in with his entourage. Sho'nuff is soon on the stage, shrieking for challengers. Despite the best efforts of several energetic members of the audience he remains king of the stage. The only problem is that Bruce Leroy will not get up and fight. His calm refusal almost drives Sho'nuff insane. A general brawl breaks out, during which the hero calmly picks his way out of the theater.

Meanwhile, Laura is hosting the latest installment of "7th Heaven," a show akin to "Solid Gold." Despite the pleasant requests of one of her crew (some unknown actor who would look more comfortable with a hard hat on his head and a shovel in hand), she refuses to play a music video sent in by Mr. Arkadian. Easily the smartest thing I have seen someone do in my life, because the video is of Angela singing "Dirty Boy." It causes me to think about Mae West trying to make a Madonna video. Which causes flashbacks of Sextette. Which causes psychological defense mechanisms to kick in and then I suffer from short periods of amnesia.

What was I talking about?

Repression aside, Eddie is angry at the pop star's gall. He sends a small squad of goons to grab Laura. Fortunately, Leroy is nearby and intercedes; he beats the pants off the toughs, then politely summons a cab for the amazed lady before disappearing. Laura finds the amulet, dropped during the fight, and knows that he will visit her to reclaim it.

I must take a moment to comment on Taimak's portrayal of the main character, because it really makes the movie. Bruce Leroy talks in a soft voice that is almost a whisper. When very angry or confused it gains a subtle edge, but not enough to disturb the illusion of an inner calm. No, our hero has a heart of gold and a face that always seems to be on the edge of breaking into an unabashed smile. Even when kicking butt, he looks nothing more than intent. Not angry, not dangerous, not hateful, but serious.

Sho'nuff steadily turns up the pressure on Leroy for a final reckoning. First he shows up at the modest dojo where the protagonist teaches others. Still no rise, so the shogun's gang wrecks the pizza shop owned by Leroy's father. While the evildoers are wrecking the place they are also forced to dodge large wads of pizza dough chucked by Leroy's mother. Nothing like getting smacked in the head with a few pounds of wet dough.

The mobsters are not at rest either; another attempt to kidnap Laura works out better than the first. Unfortunately, right after getting her back to the apartment, a mysterious ninja appears. Once again Eddie watches in helpless rage while Leroy sends thugs flying. During the fracas the ninja is unmasked, meaning the bad guys know who to blame. The next day Rock starts interviewing various murderers and hit men for the job of knocking Bruce off.

At first Leroy has little interest in Laura as a woman. Later, while doing some soul searching, he decides there just might be something to this whole boy - girl thing. They are on the empty "7th Heaven" set, with Laura trying to teach him a few moves, when she turns on a special music video. Clips from a number of Bruce Lee movies roll while the music plays. Leroy is entranced, not by the girl, but by the video! He stares at it in rapt attention until a clip shows his idol kissing (that Laura is one shrewd woman).

The passionate embrace is broken by Bruce Leroy's sudden insight. He had found a fortune cookie factory called "Sum Dum Goy" (the other teacher his master spoke of) while walking through the city. Blocking his way to complete harmony and skill are the three employees who mind the shop. When not running Leroy off, this trio apparently spends the day being weird. Three Asian men performing "Uptown Girl" to rap music weird. Anyway, Leroy finally has a plan to bluff his way in and meet Sum Dum Goy in person.

You might have guessed that when the questing disciple meets the master of fortunes he is a little disappointed. Leroy hurries over to his teacher's home with a slew of uncertain questions. It is against the rules not to be cryptic, but the Master pretty much tells Leroy that he needs no more teaching. Our hero might be affable, but he is also incredibly dense; all this goes over his head. You and I know that to achieve "The Glow," Leroy must believe in himself.

Back at the studio, Arkadian has Laura hostage and his small army (Sho'nuff included) is waiting for Leroy. Angela was never happy with her boyfriend's actions, so she packs up and leaves, only pausing to deliver a warning to the hero. Everything is set for the final battle between Sho'nuff, who has a partial mastery of the final level, and Bruce Leroy.

The music videos, with guys and girls singing in high notes, were giving me 80s flashbacks, but enjoyable. The movie is well done (good photography) and paced with interesting fight scenes every so often, just in case the outlandish characters are not keeping you entertained. Come on, just look at Sho'nuff. He struts around in outfits that look like a cross between the San Francisco 49'ers pads and samurai armor. Bruce Leroy wanders through town wearing a broad-rimmed straw hat, with a simple black suit completing the ensemble.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • To achieve true consciousness one must watch lots of Bruce Lee flicks.
  • In movies, when a woman's purse is dumped out it never contains a tampon.
  • Male pattern baldness is caused by piranha.
  • Football gear is based on samurai armor.
  • Hit men and murderers have resumes; it just takes a strong stomach to read them.
  • Reflectors look best on cars and bicycles, maybe running shoes, but definitely not hairdos.
  • Craps and hopscotch do not mix.
  • Your personal aura can short out.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 3 mins - Stop shooting arrows at me. I'm trying to practice.
  • 10 mins - He is eating popcorn with chopsticks!
  • 37 mins - Rap crossed with haiku. Bizarre.
  • 42 mins - Should have had something to keep your hood on...
  • 49 mins - Um, he stole your hat.
  • 50 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST LATTICEWORK!
  • 75 mins - HUH?
  • 78 mins - Now they took your medallion! Are you going to get mad or what?
  • 88 mins - Santa?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note lastdragon1.wav Master: "You have touched the final level! You knew without knowing. We have finished our journey together."
Green Music Note lastdragon2.wav Richie: "What good is that kung fu jive if you can't even use it? Coward."
Green Music Note lastdragon3.wav Laura: "A girl could do worse than to have her own real, live kung fu master."
Leroy: "I am no master."
Green Music Note lastdragon4.wav Sho'nuff having a pep rally.
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplastdragon1.mpg - 2.6m
Arkadian's goons were trying to kidnap Laura, but Leroy was nearby and he intervenes. Watch how he shrugs off the insult to his mother; true discipline.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 10
The Last Dragon
Reply #17. Posted on April 07, 2002, 10:58:48 PM by
this movie is kick ass. taimak is a cutie! the eighties were a.. somewhat different era. very interesting.
The Last Dragon
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dan
This movie is one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Buckaroo Banzai, Big Trouble in Little China and I don't know what else (Scorpion King?).  Yes its cheesy, yes its a bad movie, but it is so much fun.  And the music brings a tear to my eye.  I envy the guy who has the sound track.  Must find sound track, then I, too, will have The Glow.
The Last Dragon
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Iressivor
Cool movie.  I used to watch this one a lot when I was a kid.  Have any of you guys been to the Last Dragon tribute site at fast-rewind.com?  I hear it's hosted by the star of the movie himself, Taimak!
The Last Dragon
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Taimak Fan Club
Thank you all for showing your interest in the movie "The Last Dragon."  Taimak would like for you all to check out his website. www.taimak.net.  If you can, please, leave a message in Taimak's guest book.
Taimak would love to hear from you all.

GOD Bless you all.

Taimak, sends his love.
The Last Dragon
Reply #21. Posted on May 08, 2004, 09:26:49 AM by Mary M.
I just finished watching the Last Dragon at 10:00am this morning and was inspired to find out more about Taimak.  I remember some of your roles since the movie and I hope to see you in more lead roles in your future. All the best to the best!!!!!!  
The Last Dragon
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Joe
I've been involved in the martial arts for over 20 years. I saw this movie when it first came out and became an immediate fan. It's not realistic, but it's a great movie! Where else can you see an action, martial arts, romance, fantasy, comedy all rolled into to one and done so well?  A black protagonist that thinks he's Chinese, three Chinese that are trying to be black, a two-bit arcade operator that wants to be a mob-boss video producer, a really wierd (and funny) kung-fu mobster, etc., etc., etc.
I've owned it on VHS for some time. Thanks to it's continued popularity I have now been able to obtain it on DVD. Long live Bruce Leroy and THE GLOW!

Joe
The Last Dragon
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by mandy
I would like to contact Taimak and tell him he is still gorgeous, I saw him in Newyork in november last year, I am from Liverpool England, and I have always wanted to go to Newyork it has always been my dream, but little did i know that i would come face to face with my teenage idol, i was so amazed i couldnt speak and he just walked by without me saying hello, i did get him on my camcorder though, it was the highlight of my trip and i am just sorry that i didnt have the guts to approach him. Taimak you havent changed a bit, you are exactly how I remembered you.

love Mandy.xx
The Last Dragon
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Star

OMG.  I am so gld there are so many people out there agree that The Last Dragon was a kick ass movie.  I saw the movie in 1988 when I was just 7 years old.  It left indellible marks on me.  I just saw it on tv about a month ago, and now I cant get the catchy tunes or Taimak and Vanity's faces out of my mind!  

Taimak, wherever you are, keep doing movies, and Please, pretty PLEASE get to work on a sequel to the last dragon...It's almost 20 years overdue.

And as far as that website, taimak.net goes, I've been having lots of trouble getting on there.  Does it even still exist?

diehard Bruce Leroy fan,
Starlesha,
Detroit, MI

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