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MOSQUITO - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1994 Skeeters Limited Partnership
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Parks - Scientist who works for the Air Force, his entire job is gathering meteorites.
  • Meg - Petite (Biology?) student who is eager to be a park ranger. Considering she can't recognize a sixty pound mosquito, the future is dim.
  • Ray - Meg's studmuffin, he spends most of his free time threatening Earl.
  • Earl - Gunnar Hansen! A violent bank robber who suddenly is born again and just wants to save humanity, ends up about three feet from a gas main explosion.
  • Hendricks - Annoying and goofy park ranger, presumed very dead.
  • Junior - Slow witted kin to Earl, he goes back for the bag of cash and becomes a tasty snack.
  • Rex - Extremely slow witted (Worse than Junior!) cousin to Earl and Rex, shot by accident.
  • A whole lot of campers, fishermen, and park rangers - Poor prospects for the next Red Cross Blood Drive.
  • The Mosquitos - Giant versions of the common pest, I'm talking Saint Bernard with wings here, mutated after drinking alien blood.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Here is one of those films that I first caught at around 0100 on USA, it stayed with me and you can imagine the joy when a DVD release was announced. Despite having some sections with truly awful effects, whenever a number of mosquitos are flying it reverts to animation reminiscent of "Creepshow," the monsters themselves are fine looking constructs and explode in a satisfying shower of sparks (I dunno why sparks either, but it's amusing.) and goo when blasted. The film begins with an alien spacecraft buzzing Earth, after dispatching a smaller ship it blasts off. Meanwhile the shuttle or landing craft takes a wrong turn at the stratosphere and crashes into a swamp. It's pilot only manages to open the hatch and dangle one arm out before expiring. (Considering alien's manifest problems in exiting their craft you'd expect some design changes.) Hungry mosquitos soon cluster on the exposed visitor's skin and feast on the mutagenic fluids... ...which returns us to the park, where Ray and Meg's vehicle collides with one of the huge insects. Both hop out and look dumbly at it, "Huh, must be a bird or something." Excuse me? A bird? This provides a convenient reason for them to meet Parks, then Hendricks, then Earl and Junior. Those last two don't fit in very well at first, but when you're boarded up in a house under siege by giant mosquitos it's nice to have Gunner Hansen on chainsaw. Junior doesn't stay around very long thank goodness, hopefully he didn't leave any kids behind to pollute the gene pool either. Now there's a horror story, the progeny of Junior and his unwashed, snaggle toothed, wife (1st cousins.) plague West Virginia...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Aliens are behind humans in the field of insect repellent technology.
  • Girls only play volleyball in bikinis.
  • Pesticide does not make a hotdog taste better.
  • Huge mosquitos are hell on ceiling fans.
  • Before discarding the dead guy you might want to check his pants for keys to the RV.
  • On a deserted country road, in the middle of the night, never, ever, ever stop for the lunatic wearing camouflage pants.
  • It's difficult to drive with sixty pound bugs hitting the windshield.
  • Having your guts sucked out will turn your eyes into ping pong balls and make them pop out of your skull.
  • Sweaty clothing is easily set on fire with a lighter.
  • One can not expect to repair a modern geiger counter using only a flathead screwdriver. What you can do is convert it into a timed detonator.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - An alien spacecraft. Never a good thing for us Earthlings...
  • 5 mins - Um, that's the largest insect since the Cretaceous Mrs. Biologist.
  • 15 mins - Exactly who built the outhouse there? Let's see, "I'm miles from anywhere, it's a meadow on the edge of deep forest, I think I'll build an outhouse..." ...yeah, that's what happened.
  • 23 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 25 mins - The mosquito is stabbing her butt! Hehehe!
  • 43 mins - Special effects!
  • 57 mins - Did you guys soak your clothes in kerosene or something?
  • 62 mins - Hey Meg, is it cold out here?
  • 67 mins - Gunnar has a chainsaw, something is going to die.
  • 84 mins - Say, doesn't that fridge look cozy?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note mosquito1.wav Meg: "I don't think this is a bird, Ray. It looks more like...some kind of bug!"
Green Music Note mosquito2.wav Parks: "This is unbelievable."
Ray: "No it's not Doc, it's aliens and they're everywhere and that guy's obviously been zapped."
Meg: "Ray, this is serious."
Ray: "I am serious..."
Green Music Note mosquito3.wav Hendricks: "Well ugly, it looks like those mosquitos got themselves some dinner."
Junior: "Hey man, you can't just leave us here with those things. They got my cousin, they nearly got me!"
Hendricks: "Shut up!"
Green Music Note mosquito4.wav Parks: "Yeah, it's just as I suspected, those mosquitos are making these bodies radioactive!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipmosquito1.mpg - 2.8m
I guess we can all agree that having Junior's eyeballs pop out of his head when the mosquito starts siphoning off his vital fluids is pretty B, but that's what you are here for isn't it? Isn't it?

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 4
Mosquito
Reply #1. Posted on February 02, 2000, 04:02:52 PM by Paul H.
Unexpectedly good.  Not great but good.
The dumb people are dumb.  The smart people are dumb, and the mosquitos are F@#$ing brilliant.

Nevertheless, the dumb people play off of eachothers dumbness quite well and no one seems to notice or care.  

3 green globs
(mainly because it really isn't that bad and the end house scene reminds me of _Night of the living dead_. (or _return of the living dead_ or _The Fog_ or any other stuck in a house with dead things outside movie.
 
Mosquito
Reply #2. Posted on November 23, 2000, 02:15:33 PM by The Thing
This was an okay movie with an okay cast.  Gunner Hansen was a welcome sight,especially with his chainsaw.  The visual fx were surprisingly well done, no cheesy computer generated stuff like Xena or Hercules.  Overall, an okay film that had a lot of potential.  
Mosquito
Reply #3. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
I think this movie was better than you say it is, it wasnt that bad acting and it was pretty much a comedy scary movie rather than just a scary movie. If you watch right before the bikini scene you'll see two little girls playing in the sand, I think those girls will be famous some day.
Mosquito
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jayme Brenn
Well well well, this is one of those movies where you rent it just for the hell of it and you actually dont come away disoppointed. It has pretty bad acting but like Paul said the dumb people are dumb and thats what makes it funny. Rent it. You'll enjoy the cheesy ending.
Mosquito
Reply #5. Posted on June 27, 2001, 02:47:22 PM by Johnntcat
Just alittle factoid about this film.The guy playing Hendricks(Ron Ashton)was a founding member of legendary pre-punk band The Stooges(with Iggy Pop),widely considred one of the most influential rock bands of all time.Oh..and this movie sucks.
Mosquito
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Davis
I didn't mind this movie. The good parts were the plot and the action sequences. This movie even has some comical aspects such as the fact that poor Hendricks is made a b***h by pretty much everyone in the movie. Another funny part was when the chick got the stinger in the ass. However there were quite a few bad parts. Let's start off with the horrible acting. The only good actor was the black guy, he at least emphasized his lines. Hendricks by far was the worst actor I think I've ever seen, his lines are just horrible. I would recommend you checking this movie out, you'll deffinitly want to see Hendricks being made a b***h.
Mosquito
Reply #7. Posted on August 17, 2001, 05:43:03 PM by DaVe bEnSOn
i love this movie, i saw it oone night while drinking cider and i thought it was very good! i almost want to buy it!
Mosquito
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by bill
hey you forgot some good funny things they said. Like...."i'm a real meteorlogist a one that chases metors"what is not true at all and this isn't science fiction its science fact".
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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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