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ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1987 Thunder Films Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • John Triton - John Mikl Thor! It's Thor! Quiet and unassuming lead singer of the band until he reveals his true nature.
  • Randy - John's woman. Demon fodder.
  • Stig and Lou Anne - He has an amazingly horrid Australian accent, she's the bitch of the group. Both are taken by demons.
  • Max and Dee Dee - Two goofballs who have been waiting for just the right chance to jump in the sack. She's pretty attractive, from the neck down. A demonic little kid takes care of them.
  • Roger and Mary - Recent newlyweds and oh boy are they annoying about it. Mr. and Mrs. Goody Two Shoes get eaten by a demon in the kitchen.
  • Phil - Nerdy manager of the band, a fake version of Lou Anne gets naked then chews his shoulder off. For some odd reason he's not in the credits?
  • Four Groupies - Girls who show up to, um, socialize with the band. Presumed demon kibble.
  • Satan - Lord of Hell who also owns this small farmhouse outside Toronto. Defeated by Thor!

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Any movie produced by the lead singer of a regional rock band is going to be interesting my friends. Particularly so when that guy's name is Thor! (Hehehe!) We start off the story with a seemingly unrelated short where a housewife is eaten by her stove. After that, treat of treats, one is allowed to watch a van driving down the road for about five minutes, but finally the vehicle arrives at the very same farmhouse where mom was cooked and out steps Thor! (Yes, every time you see that name there will be an exclamation mark on the end.) David Lee Roth's more girthful twin has transported his band to this secluded farmhouse to kindle their artistic spirit. That fails miserably, not entirely due to their deaths either. Evil forces in the house consume Triton's band one by one, sometimes two at a time, but you know what I mean. In case you're wondering, Dee Dee is the only female who actually plays in the band, the other girls are just along for the ride. I'm a little confused about Dee Dee, on one hand - she has a nice body, on the other - her face scares me. (Plus she kisses like Liv Tyler.) Where were we? Oh yes, everyone except Thor! has been eaten. Randy, who is actually Satan at this point, wanders up to him and transforms into true form. Just in case the previous seventy minutes of silliness wasn't enough, Thor! jumps up and transforms into his true form! He's an archangel! Who wears lots of hairspray and a studded thong! And all those "people" Satan just finished killing? They were "shadows" created by the angel to lure him out! "Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare" tends to give me the giggles and after a group of us watched it someone even mentioning "Thor!" would turn us all into laughing idiots.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Housewives lead pretty dangerous lives in Canada, one out of one will be killed in an unfortunate accident involving the oven.
  • To emphasize a point women grab their breasts. (It's like underlining words in a sentence.)
  • Woman love to do the dishes.
  • Newlyweds are damn annoying.
  • Australian guys never take their sunglasses off, even for sex.
  • Never keep leftovers too long in a haunted house.
  • Thor! naked is a very bad thing.
  • If you create "shadows" of people to lure Satan out and have sex with one it must not be masturbation. (Anyone? Catholics?)
  • John Mikl Thor is an archangel.
  • Divinities wear lots of eyeliner.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Let's do something, I for one am tired of watching this van drive down the road.
  • 13 mins - Can anyone in this movie act? I know
  • 24 mins - That's a sock puppet, I cannot believe they used a sock puppet.
  • 27 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 36 mins - When Mogwai attack.
  • 45 mins - This demon is not all bad; he turned off the music.
  • 51 mins - I thought he said the lake was private? It's about a hundred yards from the house and in the middle of a field!
  • 52 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 57 mins - Not Thor! naked, arggghhh...ugh, moles! Help!
  • 58 mins - The mechanics of these two having sex like this (you'd have to see the scene) is mind boggling.
  • 65 mins - Man, would I ever like to have a nice, refreshing, delicious Coca-Cola right now.
  • 74 mins - Somebody is throwing rubber starfish things at Thor!, and he is catching them and then acting like they are stuck to his chest!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note rrnightmare1.wav John: "So, how do you like your rooms?"
Mary: "It's just wonderful John, really great!"
Roger: "There's no place we'd rather spend our honeymoon than with the band."
Green Music Note rrnightmare2.wav Mary: "I'm sure Phil's not dead or anything, or he would have called."
Green Music Note rrnightmare3.wav Possessed Randy: "Enough John."
John: "What are you talking about Randy?"
Possessed Randy: "We have to stop pretending, the guys won't be coming back, they're dead."
Green Music Note rrnightmare4.wav John: "I'll see you again, Old Scratch!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliprrnightmare1.mpg - 2.6m
I want you to understand the sort of film you are going to rent if this review piqued your interest. Watch in amazement as evil starfish attack Thor!, not that someone is tossing these things at him from off camera.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 8
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Emo Death
Truly one of the greatest pieces of s**t I've ever had the privelege of viewing.  Currently, I'm desperately seeking a copy of "Zombie Nightmare"; for those of you not in the know, this is another Thor movie, but also features the "talents" of Tia Carrere and ADAM WEST(that's right - ADAM WEST).
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by IKE
When I first saw this movie it gave me a "THORGASM"!!! It has forever changed my life...I'm trying to find a copy of Zombie Nightmare and I hope it is just as good(bad).

"LET'S TUNE OUR WEAPONS"
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Gwads
Amazing.. Rock and Roll Nightmare is gonna turn into the next stealing lawn gnomes or mullet gag. I can see no way that anyone EVER could take this thing seriously. on that premise alone this is one of the funniest "films" in existence. Rock on Jon Mikl Thor, Rock on....
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Thor!
I don't see why this movie is reviewed on this site and somethingawful.com. I'll admite it's not The Exorcist but can't you all see how SCARY is really is? I think the eerieness comes from that this is a fun loving group and we fall in love with them almost straight away. They are Rock N Roll gods but charicters. I even wrote in the confused Austrailian guy who comes to think he is british. I use alot of our music in the movie so you fall inlove with the music these guys make and your ROOTING for them to make some more. But then these people are in a house with demons that mean them harm and mean to deprive the world of their music. ou always know something bad is going to happen but you never know when. I think one of the scariest scenes is when i'm writing a song and the demon jumps to attack me but i drop me pen and manage to duck the attack, phew. The soundtrack is excellent, only the best music and the twist at the end, bet you didn't see THAT coming :).
Peace out old scratches.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #29. Posted on April 30, 2003, 01:48:55 PM by Dominic DeBellis
I have seen this movie 3 times and I laugh harder and harder each time! It is an essential movie to view concerning cheapness. A friend of mine found a copy of this and bought it which in my opinion is a better purchase than almost any other movie. One last thing, Mom.....Dad!?...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by MessiahMan
Oh...my...god!  After reading this review, and watching that movie clip, I MUST OWN THIS MOVIE!  It's on half.com as I leave this message for a bargain total of 6.44 (AFTER shipping and handling.)  I just have to settle for the case cut and put into a clear plastic case.  I'll update you again AFTER I watch this crap-fest!  God, I love this site!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by MessiahMan
Man, I just finished watching that flick, and all I can really say is that it stunk!  The dialogue was terrible, the "special" effects were godawful, and the music...I think they wrote the movie AROUND the music, just so they could ensure that Thor and crew could get the most licks in...oh, and that final fighting scene...NEVER have I seen something so anti-climatic...thor and satan grapple for a few minutes while the song plays, then thor chokes satan, and someone lights a flare in front of the camera to tell us satan is going back to hell...awful!  Needless to say, this movie had me in stitches from beginning to end, and it makes a marvellous addition to my movie collection!  I love it!  A definite shoe-in for it's four slime rating.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #32. Posted on November 27, 2002, 05:34:08 PM by Jables
On Thors new CD it has a song from ROCK N ROLL NIGHTMAREA II!!!!!!!!
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