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ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1987 Thunder Films Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • John Triton - John Mikl Thor! It's Thor! Quiet and unassuming lead singer of the band until he reveals his true nature.
  • Randy - John's woman. Demon fodder.
  • Stig and Lou Anne - He has an amazingly horrid Australian accent, she's the bitch of the group. Both are taken by demons.
  • Max and Dee Dee - Two goofballs who have been waiting for just the right chance to jump in the sack. She's pretty attractive, from the neck down. A demonic little kid takes care of them.
  • Roger and Mary - Recent newlyweds and oh boy are they annoying about it. Mr. and Mrs. Goody Two Shoes get eaten by a demon in the kitchen.
  • Phil - Nerdy manager of the band, a fake version of Lou Anne gets naked then chews his shoulder off. For some odd reason he's not in the credits?
  • Four Groupies - Girls who show up to, um, socialize with the band. Presumed demon kibble.
  • Satan - Lord of Hell who also owns this small farmhouse outside Toronto. Defeated by Thor!

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Any movie produced by the lead singer of a regional rock band is going to be interesting my friends. Particularly so when that guy's name is Thor! (Hehehe!) We start off the story with a seemingly unrelated short where a housewife is eaten by her stove. After that, treat of treats, one is allowed to watch a van driving down the road for about five minutes, but finally the vehicle arrives at the very same farmhouse where mom was cooked and out steps Thor! (Yes, every time you see that name there will be an exclamation mark on the end.) David Lee Roth's more girthful twin has transported his band to this secluded farmhouse to kindle their artistic spirit. That fails miserably, not entirely due to their deaths either. Evil forces in the house consume Triton's band one by one, sometimes two at a time, but you know what I mean. In case you're wondering, Dee Dee is the only female who actually plays in the band, the other girls are just along for the ride. I'm a little confused about Dee Dee, on one hand - she has a nice body, on the other - her face scares me. (Plus she kisses like Liv Tyler.) Where were we? Oh yes, everyone except Thor! has been eaten. Randy, who is actually Satan at this point, wanders up to him and transforms into true form. Just in case the previous seventy minutes of silliness wasn't enough, Thor! jumps up and transforms into his true form! He's an archangel! Who wears lots of hairspray and a studded thong! And all those "people" Satan just finished killing? They were "shadows" created by the angel to lure him out! "Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare" tends to give me the giggles and after a group of us watched it someone even mentioning "Thor!" would turn us all into laughing idiots.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Housewives lead pretty dangerous lives in Canada, one out of one will be killed in an unfortunate accident involving the oven.
  • To emphasize a point women grab their breasts. (It's like underlining words in a sentence.)
  • Woman love to do the dishes.
  • Newlyweds are damn annoying.
  • Australian guys never take their sunglasses off, even for sex.
  • Never keep leftovers too long in a haunted house.
  • Thor! naked is a very bad thing.
  • If you create "shadows" of people to lure Satan out and have sex with one it must not be masturbation. (Anyone? Catholics?)
  • John Mikl Thor is an archangel.
  • Divinities wear lots of eyeliner.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Let's do something, I for one am tired of watching this van drive down the road.
  • 13 mins - Can anyone in this movie act? I know
  • 24 mins - That's a sock puppet, I cannot believe they used a sock puppet.
  • 27 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 36 mins - When Mogwai attack.
  • 45 mins - This demon is not all bad; he turned off the music.
  • 51 mins - I thought he said the lake was private? It's about a hundred yards from the house and in the middle of a field!
  • 52 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 57 mins - Not Thor! naked, arggghhh...ugh, moles! Help!
  • 58 mins - The mechanics of these two having sex like this (you'd have to see the scene) is mind boggling.
  • 65 mins - Man, would I ever like to have a nice, refreshing, delicious Coca-Cola right now.
  • 74 mins - Somebody is throwing rubber starfish things at Thor!, and he is catching them and then acting like they are stuck to his chest!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note rrnightmare1.wav John: "So, how do you like your rooms?"
Mary: "It's just wonderful John, really great!"
Roger: "There's no place we'd rather spend our honeymoon than with the band."
Green Music Note rrnightmare2.wav Mary: "I'm sure Phil's not dead or anything, or he would have called."
Green Music Note rrnightmare3.wav Possessed Randy: "Enough John."
John: "What are you talking about Randy?"
Possessed Randy: "We have to stop pretending, the guys won't be coming back, they're dead."
Green Music Note rrnightmare4.wav John: "I'll see you again, Old Scratch!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliprrnightmare1.mpg - 2.6m
I want you to understand the sort of film you are going to rent if this review piqued your interest. Watch in amazement as evil starfish attack Thor!, not that someone is tossing these things at him from off camera.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 8
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #33. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Nancy
I'm a collector of bad rock and roll horror movies, and this movie ranks right up there with "Rocktober Blood" and
"Hard Rock Zombies" as the GREATEST bad rock and roll horror film ever!!  The schtick where Thor! keeps calling the main deamon "Bub", then finally calls him "Beelzebub" had me in tears from laughing so hard!!

BTW, if anyone knows of any other truly spectacular movies in this genre, PLEASE e-mail me with info -- I'm always on the lookout to add to my collection.  Also, I'd be glad to compare lists and swap tapes!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #34. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Lon Strickland
Rock'n'Nightmare is the ultimate piece of s**t. I used one of Thor's lines in the end of them film as my senior quote in my year book: "I am bound by this law to strike you from this place. It's my job, your end... this place!" I love it because it doesn't make any sense. I actually had a Fasano trilogy party when I nabbed a copy of his rarest works off ebay, The Jitters! All of John's films have a sort of vomit-like feel to them. But it's a vomit that we're willing to swallow and enjoy. I'm excited to see Darkness falls with John doing the writing and producing, but I'm affraid he's only achieved a level of making just plain bad movies now. He could of been the next Ed Wood! But that's cool, at least the guy is making a fortune. If the rumors are true about Jon Mikl Thor producing a Rock'n'Roll Nightmare 2, I will die a happy man. Just imagine, a 50 year old fat guy running around in spikey underwaer doing battle with satan (a puppet on a stick).

-Lon-
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #35. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Tom
Oh my god. A place where loyal fans can praise the one and only, "Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare"!!!! I can not begin to tell you all how much my friends and I WORSHIP this film. It is without a doubt the most wonderful bad movie ever made. I'll never forget the night that we rented it by chance for the first time. The amazing ending sequence simply blew us away. I have never laughed so hard in all my life. And now years later, I have discovered that a SEQUEL is being made?!! UNBELIEVABLE! Of all the films I have ever wanted to see a sequel to, this is it. I want to say thanks to everyone who is involved in making this happen.

   My love for this movie cannot be expressed in words. One night my friends and I actually spent hours looking up the cast members on the internet so that we could call them and chat. The only guy we were able to contact was the dude who played "Carl" (The owner of the barn), but it was so cool to talk to him and hear his stories about what it was like making the movie. My brother and I each own our own copies of this movie, plus a movie poster and the original Soundtrack LP! The soundtrack is of course fantastic, and I have converted it to CD. Best of all, I created the "Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare Megamix", a kick ass song full of cool effects and audio samples straight from the film. If anyone is interested in an MP3 just drop me a line, I'd love to share it with you! Thanks to all of you for appreciating something as wonderful as this hilarious film. Id love to chat about the movie with anyone, so feel free to email me!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #36. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by The Director
Hey! I love the adoration for my early works, but my "Ed Woodness" was based on these fillms being made for a dollar -- a dollar! RNRN cost fifty thousand dollars! You can't even buy a decent SUV for that much money! I just wanted to make a movie with monsters and tits, and couldn't afford good looking ones of either type!  And for the record, most of my movies, like ANOTHER 48 HRS, TOMBSTONE, and ALIEN 3 were NOT bad movies!

Megiddo and Universal Soldier 2, that's another story!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #37. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jason Decay
I live by this movie. It's absolutely the greatest for me and perfect just the way it is. The way it is is what makes it such a classic. THUNDERHAWK!!! Check out some Thor inspired Metal: GoatHorn.com
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #38. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Mark Lindahl
Sick,, Sick,,  You are all sick in the head for liking this lame movie. I rented this back in the 80"s and still cant cleanse my memories of this one. I want my money back and apology for the Psychological damage caused by sitting threw this film. Ok,,,I admit it.  I love this one too. Who couldn't love the scary twist this movie takes at the end.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #39. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by William Brittain
Is this the site for information on dreams film to be done by Columbia College? I'm a man in his 60's interested. Could you give further information? Thanks W C Brittain
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #40. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Hugo Fahkov
Damn...this is a weird moment, give me a sec here....

Okay.

Saw this movie way back in the day, sometime in the 80's. I think I was a senior in h.s. You know the drill; living with mom/dad, my room was my world, no friggin money, anyhoo... Rented this movie from the local movie shop. Had ZERO idea what a turd it would be. And, I had no idea that it would always linger in my mind, decades later, as what a piece of s**t movie it was.

Well, imagine my surprise, after sitting here staring at my computer screen, nothing on my mind, when Rock-n-Roll Nightmare pops in my head and I do a search on it.

...and here you guys are! *LOL*

Now I'm part of a teeny-tiny group of people that hate/love this film but...WE ALL SAW IT!!!!

...will this ever be released on dvd?

And, any of you fans that have digital captures of some of the ladies in the movie with their tops off, feel free to send them to my email addy. ;^)

Of course, if any of you ladies that were actually IN the movie, have any pics of yourselves, send 'em my way so I can reminisce...
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