SIX-STRING SAMURAI
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| Rated PG-13
| | Copyright 1998 Blade LLC.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Buddy - Rock and roll warrior who carries his katana and six-string guitar everywhere. Battling his way to Vegas to claim the throne, mortally wounded by Death.
- The Kid - Orphan after mom gets killed, starts tagging along after Buddy.
- The Red Elvis' (Elvises? What is the plural of "Elvis" anyway?) - Minions of Death, a Russian rock band. Slain by their master for failing to kill Buddy. (Actual band who did the soundtrack by the way.)
- The Pin Pals - Three evil bowlers who use knives concealed in pins, hacked up by Buddy.
- The Windmill People - Freaks! They live under the windmill fields and wear either makeshift spacesuits (The air tanks are made from water coolers!) or strips of rubber. Their god is a talking flashlight who has quite a few less followers after Buddy shows up.
- Cavemen - Bunch of Neanderthals driving a pickup truck. Turned into hairy sushi by Buddy.
- The Russian Army - Laying siege to Lost Vegas, Buddy sends them to the great Lenin convention in the sky.
- Three Evil Archers - Henchmen to Death, they often finish each other's sentences.
- Death - Evil incarnate, he wishes to kill the other challengers and claim Elvis' throne for himself. Dissolves after "The Kid" throws water on him.
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Oh are you going to love this! "The Wizard of Oz" meets "Highlander" after the apocalypse, now there's an idea you don't see every day.
In the movie's alternate reality Russia nuked the U.S. in 1957 and then invaded, Lost Vegas is the last bastion of freedom and Elvis is the king. After four decades he passes on and every warrior/musician hears the call. They must journey to Lost Vegas where one shall be crowned king. Unfortunately Death wants the throne for himself so the trail is fraught with peril.
Into this amazing script we drop Buddy, the most powerful rockin' samurai out there. On the way to his new gig (the crown) he saves "The Kid" - so the little bugger starts tagging along. Together they battle hordes of weirdos and struggle to avoid Death.
Death is one annoyed heavy metal guy and with his three henchmen the reaper is killing every other challenger. Buddy might be the only one powerful enough to deny him the crown. Prepare yourself for hordes of crazy fight scenes, Buddy (Holly?) cracks skulls with his guitar, dices with his katana, and is deadly in hand to hand. His attack on the Russian Army is breathtaking, including the Soviet "ninja" who knows "Tiger Style." (Hehehehe!)
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- If someone draws a line in the sand you may legally ignore said challenge by filling it in.
- Dirty Harry and gasoline don't mix.
- Jawbreakers and gumballs hurt when fired from a catapult.
- Slash (From Guns 'n Roses.) is actually Death.
- Pink golfballs are deadly, especially for midgets.
- A rachet can fix anything wrong with a car.
- Girls: If you want a guy, stick your gum to his glasses.
- Getting smacked upside the head with a guitar sucks.
- Spanish Moss is native to deserts.
- Communists hate rock and roll.
- Vegas looks just like the Emerald City.
- Death is water soluble.
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- 1 min - Stock nuclear test footage, hello apocalypse.
- 12 mins - Hey, the gas pump is leaking...
- 13 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CAVEMAN!
- 16 mins - Screw it, just run after him. They are, cool!
- 33 mins - Hey kid, shut up.
- 38 mins - A midget!
- 42 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A NETHEAD!
- 55 mins - That kid just screamed "Spinach Monster!" with a straight face. It's Oscar time!
- 60 mins - You are "The Kid" not "The Karate Kid."
- 66 mins - So that's how you say, "You're screwed." in Russian.
- 67 mins - That guy didn't even get touched and he fell over.
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- Buddy: "Now, where can I get a real drink?"
Midget: "Follow the yellow brick road homey." (How does one spell that anyway?)
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | sixstringsam1.wav
| The radio disc jockey who sounds like "The Wolfman."
| | sixstringsam2.wav
| Pin Pal: "Nice tuxedo...nice tuxedo to die in!"
| | sixstringsam3.wav
| Some Guy: "Hey, they say you can kill over two hundred men, and play a mean six-string at the same time."
| | sixstringsam4.wav
| Buddy: "Who are you?"
Death: "Death."
Buddy: "Cool."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | sixstringsam1.mpg
- 2.8m
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| Buddy commences stomping a hole in the Russian Army's butt when the refuse to let him into Lost Vegas territory. It is just an excuse for massive slicing and dicing really.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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