MONSTER MOVIE MAYHEM!


I love monsters, and I mean that in the most passionate way possible. So, Badmovies.org is going to dedicate the month of October to reviewing monster movies. Prepare yourself for creatures with glowing eyes, claws, fangs, scales, and poisonous slime - things so terrifying that they eat Marines for breakfast. Some stalwart friends are joining me, so this should be a lot of fun for anybody who loves subterranean horrors, dinosaurs, or aliens. To keep up with the updates, please bookmark this page or subscribe to the site's RSS feed.

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WEBSITEFILM(S) REVIEWEDEXCERPT FROM THE REVIEW
Darksider's RealmTwilightNow get this, vampires only play baseball during thunderstorms. Wow, the national vampire baseball league must be a bitch to play for.
Information Geek's ReviewsAttack of the MonstersSo Akio and Tommy steal the spaceship and start flying through galaxy. Along the way, they are on collision course with a giant meteor when suddenly Gamera shows up! Where the heck did he come from?! I donít remember anyone calling him or even mentioning him. Does he have radar senses that tell him with kids are in trouble?
Badmovies.orgThe Bermuda DepthsHe meets a mysterious woman named Jennie Haniver and discovers that she is the girl from his youth; but Jennie is not human, and their turtle is a monster created by the devil itself.
Badmovies.orgThe Werewolf of WashingtonHe immediately immerses himself in the political social scene. That means he sits on couches that are so gaudy only old politicians would buy one, and only if the taxpayer's money was paying for it. He also does his best to fend off the inebriated wives of judges and senators. I have to applaud Jack's stoic nature in the face of such adversity. Too bad that he turns into a werewolf and rips apart a Supreme Court nominee's drunken spouse after a party.
Information Geek's ReviewsGodzilla (1998)Tracking the monsterís movements, they discover that thing is heading directly up the eastern coast underneath the water. My question is, where exactly is Godzilla going anyways? He was going almost a straight line and then suddenly he went straight north! Anyways, cut to New York City (you can see where Iím going with this, right?), where we zoom in on the local fish market. Some guy is fishing up on pier nearby when he hooks a big one. A really big one!
WTF-FilmAventura al Centro de la TierraThat staple of the genre, the googly-eyed giant spider, is here as well, only with no ray-gun toting figure of square-jawed masculinity to stop it.
Side Order of NinjasThe Blob (1958)McQueen isn't the cool guy like in the Magnificent Seven or the Great Escape. However, in this movie, he seems almost as tough as Richie Cunningham from Happy Days. Terrible shame we never saw Ron Howard battle killer jello.
Badmovies.orgThe StrangenessEverybody hears Dan getting swallowed by the you know what. Geoff attempts to find the doomed man, and he does locate the writer's body - gooed to the ceiling. It sucked the poor guy in, then spat him onto the ceiling!
Darksider's RealmTrogGreenham sees the pictures and has trouble buying it 100%. I'm personally assuming that's because the monster looks very lame.
Side Order of NinjasThe Blob (1988)Today, we're assaulted with so many lame CG monsters to a sickening point. The 1980s started really memorably adapting 1950s sci-fi movies getting remade as more horror centered. Name the last non-CG monster in Sci-Fi channel movies? Even the rare low-budget CG monsters that aren't too bad are still going to be more laughable than the mid 1960s Godzilla suits. However, back in the day (when "back in the day" has become the 1980s, age seems to have set in when I remember the killer-gelatin Blob poster hanging in the video department of the grocery store...), the monster had to be done with physical special effects.
Information Geek's ReviewsTremorsThey head for her truck and are attacked by another monster. They climb on top of a rock, since the giant thing canít climb up. After waiting a day, they decide to use these poles to catapult themselves from boulder to boulder, until they reached her truck to escape in. Thank God for randomly placed boulders and poles!
Badmovies.orgBride of the MonsterTo be fair, this is probably the most complete Ed Wood film. If you close your ears to the clunky dialogue, ignore the glaring errors, wade through the stock footage, and drink enough alcohol to drown Oliver Reed, there is some semblance of a decent, even coherent, plot in here.
Bearded Weirdo ReviewsThe Deadly SpawnY'know, PASSION OF THE CHRIST might have the messiah himself dying on the cross for the sins of all mankind. But DEADLY SPAWN has a scene where a freshly orphaned grade schooler runs into a two-ton tumor-worm who then emphatically barfs up the remains of mother dearest's bloody, chewed-up, half-digested head... right at the mortified munchkin's feet. How cool izzat?
B-Movie Film VaultZombielandIt's rare that I go into a movie with high expectations and actually have them met. Imagine my surprise when my already high expectations were exceeded by Zombieland! In a year that was saturated by severely disapointing films (Transformers 2... cough, cough), it was refreshing to see a movie that was well-made, highly entertaining, and funny as hell!
WTF-FilmLost on Adventure IslandBut alas, those pesky cannibals are afoot again! No sooner has Anna stepped into her new Amazonian garb than she is kidnapped and tied to a stake in the cannibal village.
Badmovies.orgTerror Beneath the SeaThe only difference between a water cyborg and a mindless American consumer is that one of them can breathe under the water. I'm dead certain that human stupidity is what makes cetaceans so depressed that they beach themselves. Dolphins recognize that we are imbeciles.
Information Geek's ReviewsMonster A Go-GoWe then do a very quick jump shot to some pointless dribble (which I spare you from hearing about). After it, Logan goes to this secret room, which takes about 1 to 2 minutes of movie time, where he apparently was able to hide the monster for 8 weeks. He hid a 10 ft, 400 lb monster in a government building for 8 weeks without anyone noticing it? My brain! It hurts!
Darksider's RealmSasquatch The Legend Of BigfootThat night, they were attacked by two Bigfoots (or is that Bigfeet). One busted through their cabin window while another chucked rocks at them from the cliff. Although this is supposed to be terrifying, all of this comes off as rather silly.

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