THE CAR
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| Rated PG
| | Copyright 1983 Palo Ato Productions Inc.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Wade - James Brolin! A tough, yet tender, southern California lawman who never wears a helmet when riding his motorcycle.
- Luke - Alcoholic deputy who managed to stay off the sauce for two years, until this darn car made him drink again.
- Lauren - Wade's girlfriend, she grabs men by the scrotum as a negotiating tactic. (I'm being literal here.) Tries out for the human speedbump position.
- Chas - American Indian deputy who manages to reinforce every stereotype in the book.
- Amos - Nasty old man who beats his wife, ends up saving the town by blowing the car sky high.
- Everett - He certainly lived a full life before stopping like a deer in those headlights.
- Margie - Luke's girlfriend or wife, she appears to have torpedoes in her bra.
- Wade's Daughters - Cute little buttons who wanted Lauren to be their new mommy.
- The Car - If Satan was going to build a street rod...
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| Why the Lord of Evil would choose a small town in southern California (Read into this: desert.) to terrorize with a custom musclecar is beyond me, maybe he just does dumb things at times. The fear campaign proceeds quite well and soon the sprawling town (Population: 40 or so.) is paralyzed, even their amazing police force can't help. Why they needed ten deputies is beyond me anyway, was this place colonized by Hell's Angels or something? Even a tank would have a hard time stopping this car though, at one point it is faced with two patrol cars. Amazingly it turns and begins flipping, rolling over and squashing them before driving off. (The wonders of special effects, or maybe just having two cars and a jumble on the editing room floor.) Everyone struck by the car becomes a fatality, despite the fact that it never runs over them, instead propelling them through the air like some strange tennis ball machine that shoots humans vice tennis balls. Only Wade's ingenious plan saves the day, after luring the car into a canyon they get it to drive off a cliff and then set off dynamite charges, burying the cursed thing under a tomb of rock. There are plenty of scenes with the wheeled antagonist featured, but the movie has some annoying dead sections. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Demonic automobiles see the world through a red filter.
- It's okay to beat a woman in California, just so long as she is your wife.
- Falling three hundred feet onto sharp rocks will not blemish a body.
- It is easy for a car to sneak up on someone in the open desert.
- Kids and horses can outrun a car.
- Never call Satan a chickenship son of a bitch.
- Cars have gas tanks on the roof.
- Young women would not make good speedbumps.
- Silver, holy water, the cross, and dynamite shall be your proof against evil.
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- 6 mins - Why does it have a truck horn?
- 7 mins - The car just hit the back tire on that kid's bike, he'd have gone under the car and been ground to mush, not bumped over the bridge.
- 28 mins - What is in the weapons locker? Shotguns and a fire extinguisher of course.
- 42 mins - True horror: watching a middle school marching band practice.
- 45 mins - How incredibly stupid of him... ...oh well, he's trampled.
- 46 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DRUM!
- 53 mins - If I didn't know better I'd say they filmed the cars doing twenty or so and then sped up the film.
- 67 mins - Watch how Chas is driving, this must be a really winding road.
- 70 mins - Why did the highway dead end in her backyard?
- 93 mins - It's the Rolling Stones and they're on fire!
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | thecar1.wav
| Deputy: "She said there was no driver in the car."
| | thecar2.wav
| Lauren taunting the car.
| | thecar3.wav
| Wade: "Looked like he smashed through our cars like he was stomping bugs. I didn't even see a scratch on him."
| | thecar4.wav
| Luke: "That car flew into that house four feet off the ground! And how did he know where she lived?"
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| Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | thecar1.mpg
- 2.2m
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| Watch in horror as the screaming vehicle bears down on unsuspecting children! I think band practice is probably over for today.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| The Car
Reply #57. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by JAMIE
They should had at least done an uncut version of the film, maybe that's why it wasn't a success in so many areas. the right people were in it. they should do a remake and proberbly james brolin and ronny cox can have small roles.
the car uncut example. WOT COULDV'E BEEN.
THE CAR SLAMS SUSAN INTO THE WALL, BREAKS HER LEGSAND HAULS HER OVER. SPLAT!
THE CAR THROWS EVERET ONTO THE BONNET AND OVER EVERETT FALLS 2 GROUND.
Lauren: U KNOW WOT U ARE A CHICKEN, CHICKEN s**t, EVIL f**kIN PRICK, SCUM OF THE EARTH, SON OF BITCH!"
AFTER THE DOES SOMMERSALTS ON THE 2 COP CARS, THE COP CARS SMASH INTO EACHOTHER SIDE ON, THE COPPERS SCREAM, TURN UPSIDE DOWN THEN EXPLODE.
WHEN THE CAR KNOCK WADE OUT, THE DOOR SLAMS SHUT AND THE CAR DISAPPERS. WADE SCRAMBLES TO HISBIKE AND CALLS DONNA.
WADE: DONNA GET ME SOME HELP RIGHT AWAY. WE HAVEN'T GOT A CRAZY ON OUR HANDS, WE'VE GOT A f**kIN MONSTER." WADE FALLS TO THE GROUND IN PAIN.
WHEN THE CAR THE DRIVES THROUGH LAURENS HUSE, THE COLLAPES. WHEN IT DRIVES OFF, IT SHOWS A BLOODIED LAUREN STRUGGLING TO FREE HERSELF FROM UNDER THE WRECKAGE BUT SHE LOOKS UP AS THE NEXT PART OF THE ROOF FALLS ON HER AND KILLS HER.
CHAZ IS DRIVING BACK 2 FETCH LAUREN, WHEN HIS CAR BEGINS TO SWAY ITS THE WIND. HE HEARS THE CAR HORN AND RUSHES TO LAURENS WHERE HE FINDS THE FRONT ROOM ABOLISHED AND LAUREN DEAD.
WHEN LUKE, AMOS AND THE OTHERS LEAVE WITH THE DINAMITE, DONNA PROCEEDS TO THE GARAGE TO FTECH THE COP CAR AS THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE TRUCK, SO SHE INTENDS TO FOLLOW THEM TO THE CANYON. BUT THE CAR SPOTS HER FIRST WHO IS PARKED UP ON THE SIDE. THE CAR DOOR OPENS AND THE SCREENS THEN GOES TO WADES GARAGE AT HIS HOME.
AS THE CAR APPROACHES WADE AND LUKE DONNA GETS THROWN OUT OF THE CAR UNCONCIOUS.
AFTER THE CAR GETS BLOWN UP AND GO TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF THIS HAPPENS.
"BUT IN THE FIRE I SAW...
"It's over luke, IT'S OVER.
Luke nods with relief. But donna SPRINGS A SUPRISE FOR THEM AS SHE APPERAS BEHIND THEM. THE SEVEN MEN TURN AROUND AND SEE HER SMILING AT THEM.
"WOT IS IT DONNA?"
"You thought it was over?" Donna laughs. Her eyes turns red and she starts changing.
"Holy s**t!"
a car engine noise can be heard and the screen goes black and the car horns beeps.
cue THE CAR RETURNS obvoiusly now set in LA where the ending of the car showed.
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| Re: The Car
Reply #58. Posted on January 14, 2008, 07:41:18 PM by RichyMurillo13
wow when i saw that movie it mad me think that when ever i see a black lincoln it will make me think of the movie but that must be one of the best movies in the 70's ever.
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| Re: The Car
Reply #59. Posted on January 11, 2009, 05:57:54 PM by Nick Warren
Didn't this inspire Bender's WERE-CAR in FUTURAMA . . . ha ha ha. I love this movie as a guilty pleasure and have to say when my wife was living in the States before she returned to the UK and met me she wrote off a Lincoln Town Car like the one used in the movie . . . Wade should have sent for her!!!
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| Re: The Car
Reply #60. Posted on June 07, 2009, 10:19:39 PM by phil
I have this movie and I admit that it sucks. The only reason that I ever watch it is because it was filmed in my hometown of St. George, Utah. It is kinda cool to see how the town used to look.
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Re: The Car
Reply #61. Posted on October 17, 2009, 11:09:30 PM by Kooshmeister
Regarding whether Margie is Luke's girlfriend or wife, when she's calling for help on the radio she identifies herself as "Margie Johnson." And with the clarity of DVD you can see in several scenes that Luke's nametag on his uniform says "Johnson." Ergo, Margie is Luke's wife. (Another surname revealed via these nametags is Everett's; it's Peck.)
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