TROLL
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| Rated PG-13
| | Copyright 1985 Atar Productions Inc.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Harry Jr. - Noah Hathaway! (Atreju from "The NeverEnding Story.") Young lad who loves b-movies, but is mortally afraid of his sister.
- Wendy - Harry's sister, she spends most of the film locked in a magical prison while the Troll uses her form as a disguise.
- Eunice St. Clair - June Lockhart! (The younger version is her daughter, Anne Lockhart.) Ancient sorceress and protector of the human realm, turned into a talking tree stump for a while.
- Malcolm - Phil Fondacaro! The only person shorter than Wendy, dying of Leukemia until the Troll transforms him into an elf.
- Harry Sr. and Anne - Michael Moriarty is the father! Harry and Wendy's parents who wish everyone would just act normal.
- Peter - Sonny Bono! A self described swinger who hates children, he's the first one turned into a troll. (One with the woodlands...)
- Bill and Jeanette - She is none other than Julia Louis-Dreyfus! The Troll makes her into a forest nymph and him into something suitably slimy.
- Barry - He used to be a Marine, of course he still wears dark sunglasses, brass belts, and green t-shirts. Turned into a troll.
- The Troll - Magical creature who wishes to repopulate the world with elves, fairies, and such.
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| There are so few opportunities to watch Julie Louis-Dreyfus run around wearing ivy (And only ivy.) that you have to take notice of this film. When the Potters move into a new apartment they never dream what will happen next, their daughter Wendy is soon replaced by a malevolent troll! The capricious creature enjoys confusing Harry or Anne with strange antics, almost to the point of neglecting it's true goal. Slowly and surely it uses a magical ring to turn the other apartments into magical forests, each one populated by the transformed inhabitants. Harry Jr. takes pains to avoid his sister, mainly since she is beating him up, (Really not good for the budding male psyche - getting thrown around by your little sister.) so he befriends Eunice. She gives him a magical spear to defeat the Troll's minions, good thing since she fares poorly against them. In a bizarre twist ending the Troll foils his own plans, plunging the magical spear into the guardian beast to save Wendy's life. There is even one more twist ending involving a police officer and the laundry room, but we won't go into that. A final word in the movie's defense: there are lots of sock puppets, you have to love sock puppets... |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Sonny Bono looks quite natural in a wife beater t-shirt.
- Modern parents have problems dealing with kids who watch Godzilla movies.
- The late and great Mr. Bono was terrible in bed.
- Loud music only affects plates.
- Midgets don't like chocolate milk.
- Puberty changes the way a boy knocks, in addition to his voice.
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus is really a dryad.
- Old women are confusing. Old women carrying spears are confusing and dangerous.
- Apartment buildings make excellent greenhouses.
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- Opening Credits - Charles Band, with a budget no less, oh hell...
- 7 mins - Yes, yes, we notice the ring.
- 11 mins - This is a mad house! A mad house!
- 28 mins - What did I do to deserve this scene?
- 32 mins - Harry Jr. has a pretty fruity room for a teenage male.
- 37 mins - So trolls just sit around singing all day?
- 45 mins - How exactly does that little mushroom thing get around?
- 59 mins - He actually made Malcolm shorter, now that is powerful magic.
- 71 mins - Talk about anti-climatic battles.
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | troll1.wav
| Harry Jr: "Can I come in, I think I'm going to throw up."
Eunice: "How can I resist an offer like that?"
| | troll2.wav
| Wendy: "Are you an elf?"
| | troll3.wav
| Eunice: "Harry, your sister isn't an alien. She's something much worse."
| | troll4.wav
| Troll: "Welcome, brother elf."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Troll
Reply #25. Posted on April 29, 2005, 08:32:27 PM by Lana
This movie is so terrible. I could not sit through five mintutes! You know what the scariest part is, that SCI FI CHANNEL played this movie almost 20 times!
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Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Heather
I actually never watched the whole thing when it would come on TV, reading this reveiw I think I should buy it!!!! Thank you for such a funny and comprehensive reveiw!
Lemme just say, weirdos in apartment buildings are a sadly un-tapped scary movie premise.
And Noah Hathaway as a slightly odd teenaged B movie fan named Harry Potter?
TOP THAT! AWESOME!
My own fondness for crap-ola movies is even more precious to me now....*sigh*
Noah Hathaway has incidentally grown up to be the best looking man on the PLANET Apropos of nothing....
I'm gonna get this movie! Hee hee....
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Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Kayne
NOOOOOOOO!!! I can not believe what the other comments here seem to indicate: You could NOT have scored Troll 2 better than Troll. You could NOT have!! I liked this movie as a kid, and I still think it's way underrated - it's a CLASSIC 80's B-flic. Just the fact that the villian wasn't really 'evil' should get it points. Troll 2 now...watching that was one of the worst traumas I have suffered...and I have been through a lot (as bad as it was, I remember that the last scene succeeded in truly creeping me out though)...
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Reply #28. Posted on September 23, 2004, 11:30:35 AM by Richard
That singing monster scene made me laugh so hard I had to catch my breathe. Great B-movie, very imaginative.
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Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Felicity
A disappointing movie...too slick to be bad-good, and too bad to be good-good. Tacky effects and production values, an extremely limited setting. Worth seeing once for a several good parts (Michael Moriarty dancing like a psycho to classic rock; Julia Louis-Dreyfus running around almost naked; Gary Sandy as an ex-soldier), but not one to keep on tape after you’re done.
I watched it with friends and one of them liked the chorus. I think he said something to the effect of “That’s the music I want playing in the background if I’m ever painting or sculpting naked.” Yikes. :-)
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Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Yes~!!! Pffft
I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
Elaine from sainfield is one of the ladies who lives there... I think her name is janette...
I'm DYING to get the song (the na na na na na TROLL! one)
BTW... anyone notice the kid is named Harry Potter? 10 yrs before the british lady stole it?!?! HAHHA
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Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Per
This is a great movie! I deserves a 3 score really. I remember that I first thought the cover looked silly, but when I saw it I was really impressed. Classical 80's b-movie, but also scary a bit, together with the music.
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Reply #32. Posted on October 08, 2005, 10:30:38 AM by Eagle
After I saw this movie I was bored and had appetite for jelly. I asked myself why?
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