Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


WHAT WAITS BELOW - 2 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1983 Adams Apple Film Co.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Wolfson - Elite mercenary who is exceptionally good at finding caves. Wears a leather jacket in the middle of a rain forest.
  • Leslie - She has that sexy "I am a nasty girl" look; pretty much acts it too once you get some beer in her.
  • Major Stevens - Jerk commander of the operation who has a lethal amount of limestone dropped on his head.
  • George - Lieutenant and second in command to Stevens, putz.
  • Bill Gannon - World's foremost expert on caves. Takes a spike through the head.
  • Frieda Shelley - She is attractive, just like Julia Childs is. Another scientist with Gannon. Also spiked.
  • Santos - Serious fodder boy.
  • The Lemurians - Tribe of humans who have been living underground for thousands of years. Not only do they roll in flour, the little buggers can also scream and cause caves to collapse.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The beginning of this film is a total mystery to me. Well, not entirely, but you will understand why here in a minute. We lead off with a narrator telling us about the life cycle of a giant stalagmite, comparing its growth to significant events in human history. The stalagmite piece I understand. What makes no sense is the following section where we are introduced to the male lead.

Wolfson is up in a tree taking photos of soldiers training in Nicaragua. He almost kills George when the guy walks up looking for him. It is the middle of a rainforest; how did he know where Wolfson was? Then they settle down to chat. At this point, Wolfson looks up and sees (we are led to believe by the camera changes) a sentry climbing up the hill toward them. He ignores the approaching mercenary, instead paying attention to the beer George is offering! When that is shot out of their hands the action really starts. Armed with pistols and a pack of exploding cigarettes, these two take on most of the Nicaraguan Army. The running battle is terribly confusing, along with feeling like nothing more than padding. After about twenty minutes we really start the movie.

The U.S. Army needs a deep cave so they can transmit radio messages to nuclear submarines. It is "super low" frequency so the subs can still pick up the signal through miles of rock. (We will just ignore the fact that the Army is doing this, because how many submarines do they operate?) After enlisting the aid of civilian cave expert Ben Gannon they find the perfect place. Equipment is brought in and the equipment is soon in place in one section of an extensive cave system.

A civilian research group was disturbed by the Army's activity. It causes them to have no great love for the military, though Wolfson manages to win them over. Now, how do you make it up to someone for ruining their expedition and possibly their ability to secure grant money for future research? You act like a down-to-earth guy and dive into the river to retrieve a skillet that was lost into the water. Simple, right? Maybe that was the key to the entire Cold War. Mother Russia had lost her skillet and all that Uncle Sam needed to do was dive in and fish it out. Somebody tell me why I am not in politics. Leslie ends up warming to Wolfson and pretty much throws herself at him one night; he graciously accepts her offer.

Oh, right.

Pretty soon the beacon disappears, along with the two men on duty. All of the important personnel, including a local cave expert named Santos, descend into the cave. Santos needed to watch more Star Trek. I would have looked around and said, "We need a few more unimportant people with us. You, you, and you. Put on red shirts and get your helmets." See, just by doing that, I would have increased my chance of survival. There are now four people certain to die.

The party quickly realizes that they are not alone in the subterranean world. Living in the dark spaces is a tribe of violent albinos which broke off from human evolution ages ago. Leslie is captured when she strays a short distance from the group. At first her disappearance is a mystery, but the others soon encounter the Lemurians. The dwellers in the dark use weapons that make me cringe, because they are not going to kill you quickly. Their primary ranged weapon is a stick that helps them throw a small bone or crystal dart with great force (kind of like a woomera). Amazingly, despite their small size, they appear to be lethal to humans. The dart-chuckers look more like hunting weapons, designed to bring down bats or other creatures found in the caves (albino rabbits, squirrels, whatever you can think of). While I would not want to get hit by a dart, especially not in the throat, I have doubts about their ability to penetrate the skull.

To save Leslie from the Lemurians, Wolfson engages in a knife fight with their most powerful warrior. Of course, he wins, but refuses to finish off his opponent. That small act of decency will later save his life (and Leslie's, you have to save the booty) when more savagery breaks out. Major Stevens is not so lucky. The whole reason the Lemurians stole the submarine beacon system is that it causes them pain while transmitting. When the Major locates it again, he immediately activates the beacon. In retaliation, the Lemurians do something that causes the cave above Stevens to collapse. End of beacon, end of Stevens.

Santos needs to be discussed. While exploring, he is suddenly attacked by a snake-like creature that lives inside a smooth tube in the rock wall. Though he is carrying a pistol, but what does wonder boy do? Begins beating ineffectively at the snake with his weapon. I was aghast when the others responded to Santos' screams and stopped him from becoming a meal for the cave python. No, you are going to save him so that he can go breed and screw up the gene pool! Fortunately, Darwin refuses to be denied his prey, Santos runs afoul of the Lemurians while returning to the surface (alone, wounded man sent back to seek medical treatment without anyone to assist him).

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Stalagmites are not of the Christian faith.
  • Two Americans armed with pistols and tobacco can defeat most South American armies.
  • Radio waves from a portable console can penetrate miles of rock and water.
  • Military operations are characterized by many soldiers wandering around in the background.
  • The first thing a drunk blonde will notice is your tongue size.
  • Deep caves are abundantly lit by fly larva.
  • A pistol is least effective when used as a club.
  • Caves are filled with fog.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 2 mins - So what? It is a stalagmite. Not a good start.
  • 5 mins - The angle that "bullet" punctured the can would indicate is plowed through Wolfson first.
  • 15 mins - Sure hope this woman is not the sexy female lead.
  • 16 mins - Okay, there is a young woman - whew.
  • 49 mins - What the heck? How did everyone else fail to notice the dead body?
  • 51 mins - Splitting up from the group huh? Hmmm, wonder what could possibly...
  • 82 mins - What sort of goofy stuff is this?
  • Ending Credits - "Secrets of the Phantom Caverns" was the real name. Nobody could come up with something better than that or "What Waits Below?"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note waitsbelow1.wav Wolfson: "The name's Wolf."
Leslie: "Wolf, as in big bad?"
Wolfson: "No, as in Wolfson."
Green Music Note waitsbelow2.wav Stevens: "That can not be permitted. The entire cave is off limits to non-essential personnel until all tests are completed."
Green Music Note waitsbelow3.wav George: "Electronic circuitry and stone age tools... ...what does this have to do with Leslie and the transmitter?"
Green Music Note waitsbelow4.wav The Lemurians screaming.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage


ImageImageImage


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipwaitsbelow1.mpg - 2.6m
Wonder boy BEATS the snake with his pistol.

 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited (United States)

Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4
What Waits Below
Reply #9. Posted on September 21, 2000, 10:12:50 PM by Sarah
Hmm...name a good Robert Powell movie...lemme see...There's Jesus of Nazareth, Shaka Zulu, The Four Feathers, Mahler...
Go to the internet movie database and check it out. I haven't seen this movie, but I have seen a lot of Robert Powell movies and he's very underused- he's an incredible actor.
What Waits Below
Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Kelly Kline
My brother up there (Kerry McCreary) is right about the reason he was in the film.  My Girl Scout troop was hired to do body makeup for the Lemurians - which can be a pretty disgusting thing when you're 13 years old and you have to put white pasty makeup on a 50 year old man's inner thighs! (Can't remember his name, the Lemurian that's 2nd in command, used to be in Shazam!)  Anyway, it was definitely an experience to remember, including the carbon monoxide poisoning that had everyone so sick.  The next week's headline on The Star magazine read "Movie Star Saves Crew's Lives" and showed a picture of Robert Powell leading Lisa Blount out of the cave.  The story went on about how he alerted the crew of the poisoning and got everyone out ... in reality, he and Lisa Blount heard about it and took the only golf cart available in the cave and got the heck out!

On another note, Timothy Bottoms was a lot of fun.  My mom, brother, and I ate lunch with him and he flirted with mom a lot.  He even dressed up as a Lemurian and kept poking mom with his "woomer."  Ahhh, to be a movie star.
What Waits Below
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Tim Hinkle
 I was a "runner" on the set of this movie for the first week. For the next 2 weeks in Alabama, I assisted the special effects man, Rick Joespheson. I had the opportunity to meet most of the "stars" and even got my name on the credits at the end of the movie......(not sure I am happy about that) ;)
  This movie was made in 1983, and I just found a copy I rented. I would like to find a copy to purchase, just for a keepsake. Your information would be helpful. Thanks!
What Waits Below
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by ChrisB
I think this review is a little harsh in some areas but not in others where it perhaps should be. I can see why they started the shoot with the Goliath stalagmnite because its situated at cathedral Caverns whey they filmed most of the interior scenes. There's some awful editing at the start though, especially with that sodier climbing the slope afer George & Wolf.
   On the back of my tape it says they travel to Spain, but in the film they go north to Belize in Central America -although according to the film and Steven's map it's in SOUTH America!  On the front of the tape is a cool pic of a Lemurian in mid-scream, but I notised the American version has a drawing of Wolf and Leslie on a rope....
  Santos is given a bit of a hard time in this review....when the snake attacks, his gun jams.
What Waits Below
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Dolores
for What Waits Below check ebay.com regularly or mysimon.com or half.com

Believe it or not it shows up from time to time.

Dolores (a Robert Powell fan)
What Waits Below
Reply #14. Posted on April 18, 2003, 11:04:16 AM by Chrisb
Hey! Already FOUR members of the cast/crew have posted on this messageboard, surely a record in coincidence for a bad film. Perhaps if we get a Warners representative here they can be persuaded to finance a remake  ;)
What Waits Below
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Kelly Kline
One more thing - I bought a copy of this movie on DVD off of eBay, but it was in the European format (whatever that is) and wouldn't work in my DVD.  My brother said he bought some copies of it on Half.com.
What Waits Below
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Kerry McCreary
If this doesn't beef up the sarcasm, I don't know what will.  I was an extra in this film.  I was 9 or 10 years old at the time.  The reason I was even there at Cathedral Caverns, is because my sister's Girl Scout Troup was invited to help out with the make-up crew.  I find it amusing now to think that they paid us $35 per day to stand around all day each day for this.  Myself and my mom were dressed as lemurians.  And to juice it more....They forgot to have my mom take her glasses off in a couple of the shoots.  My sister was one the ones sick from the Carbon Monoxide incident.  BUT...It seemed SOOOOO Hollywood for my youthful eyes.  I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.
PS...I have seen this on ebay for sale on VHS.  I've been meaning to buy one for myself.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.