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THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1988 Vestron Pictures Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Angus - Scottish archeologist, pretty tough guy too. Well of course he is tough, he's Scottish!
  • James D'Ampton - Hugh Grant! Nobleman and descendant of the knight who slew the worm centuries ago.
  • Mary - Hostess of the D'Ampton bed and breakfast, she is on the edge of a total breakdown due to the disappearance of her parents one year ago.
  • Eve - Mary's sister, she has been flirting a good bit with Lord D'Ampton, turns out she is still a virgin in her late twenties.
  • Officer Erny - Constable with two lazy eyes (it's really odd) who is bitten and becomes a thrall to Lady Sylvia.
  • Kevin - Goofy boy scout seduced and emasculated by Lady Sylvia.
  • Lady Sylvia Marsh - Immortal worshipper of the White Worm and part snake herself. Dropped into the creature's gaping maw by Angus.
  • Dionin - Spelling might be an issue here, but whatever the case, this is the pagan god also called "The White Worm." A huge and loathsome beast which dwells beneath the ground until it develops explosive indigestion.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

We begin with Angus excavating ancient ruins in Mary and Eve's backyard just as he makes a bewildering discovery. In addition to the structural remains of a nunnery and a Roman temple he finds a large skull, vaguely reptilian in form. Only later, at one of Lord D'Ampton's parties, does he learn about the Legend of the White Worm.

The worm is not only a legend and Lady Sylvia is picking out the annual virgin sacrifice for her pagan deity. Eve's mysterious status as an unsullied lass of almost thirty puts her at risk of becoming worm food. Only heroic efforts by the men folk (and a hand grenade) prevent her consumption.

The film is riddled with revolting erotic images and snake references. I really didn't need to watch a confusing dream sequence involving nuns being raped by Roman soldiers, though later another vision showing them impaled on stakes is equally twisted. There is also the human sacrifice ritual, apparently Lady Sylvia uses a spearlike strapon to commit the deed. Try to remember these are intended to portray the depravity of the White Worm and do so rather well. Meanwhile the protagonists use every trick in the book against snakes to combat Lady Sylvia, including snake charming music and a mongoose. You have to feel sorry for the mongoose, in this case the little hunter was in over its head.

Hugh Grant encountering a pagan snake god is pure entertainment, plus the story was inventive and well paced. Is it frightening? Well no, but it did not bore me and was a welcome "alternative vampire" sort of story.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Spring is an ambiguous thing in the British Isles.
  • Nuns had it pretty rough during Roman times.
  • There is a pagan version of "Shoots and Ladders" called "Snakes and Ladders." (Several readers pointed out this was the original title of that game.)
  • Never get a blowjob from some woman with two-inch fangs.
  • English noblemen regularly have dreams involving catfighting airline stewardesses.
  • Cavemen knew what transsexuals were.
  • Snake women sleep in woven baskets.
  • You can suck the poison out of someone bitten in the jugular.
  • Bagpipes can be used in snake charming.
  • Even a god should not go around swallowing grenades.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 6 mins - The scary thing is that I'm getting into this Scottish squaredance/techno music.
  • 7 mins - You've obviously spent enough time at the buffet my friend, move along Porky.
  • 11 mins - Actually the headlights were on.
  • 24 mins - What in the hell? Okay, this is an amazingly f***ked up scene.
  • 30 mins - Exactly how many adolescent male wet dreams can we address here?
  • 33 mins - Paralyzed by her venom, but his eyelids close when she pushes him under the water.
  • 45 mins - Hey idiot, can you make any more noise?
  • 53 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 56 mins - Eve needs to do a better job of shaving her legs...
  • 79 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS REPTILIAN BREAST SHOT!
  • 90 mins - That hospital had better get a good lawyer, this has malpractice suit written all over it.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note whiteworm1.wav Eve: "I remember now! After I passed out, I remember! A serpent, a horrible thing...towering above me, coiled around a crucifix!"
Green Music Note whiteworm2.wav Sylvia: "Do you believe in reincarnation, Eve? I do, but then I am immortal and I have seen the same souls inhabit different beings throughout history."
Green Music Note whiteworm3.wav Angus: "Dionin was a pagan snake god."
Green Music Note whiteworm4.wav James: "Thanks for the warning, I think we probably have another reptile loose on the premises."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipwhiteworm1.mpg - 1.9m
Hugh, the Barbarian. (It was that or a "Highlander" joke.)

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #25. Posted on January 08, 2007, 05:48:44 PM by chrisb
Ken Russell has left the (Big Brother) house, 7/1/07. I can't believe that nobody in the house asked him about his work (even mention this campy little gem). He's a living genius for pete's sake!
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #26. Posted on February 27, 2007, 08:19:24 PM by Lando
I cracked up in laughter watcging the "nuns" dream scene... dude, there´s nothing as silly as watching Jesus being nibbed in the neck by a giant, stiff white rubber snake... quack BounceGiggle
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #27. Posted on March 14, 2007, 03:22:53 PM by amabush
The worst bit is when Hugh Grant dreams that he is on a plane, filling out a crossword, and he toys with his (red) pen in such a way as to suggest his arousal by Amanda D. It is crude in both senses of the word.  And why does Mr Russell have to include nuns in EVERYTHING he does? Usually there are nuns being abused, acting blasphemously etc, etc. I remeber reading an interview with him many years ago in which he said that he had a fantasy of filming "a million naked nuns running through the desert". It takes all sorts, I suppose.
Re: amanda donohoe hypnotised and slithering in black leather
Reply #28. Posted on July 13, 2007, 01:06:25 PM by frankie smales
i think that the lair of the white worm by far the sexiest horror movie
i have ever whitnessed especialy amanda donohoe in an sexy black leather outfit and hypnotised

for her provocative scenes where she get hypnotised by hugh grants awful snake music enought to

hypnotise anyone but the bad thing was the both actresses catherine oxenberg and sammie davis's

bad english accents
in the whole it was excellent including the amanda donohoe's black leather hypnotise scenes but

it is an shame you only can get the dvd in the us and japan b however it is one of my fave movie

of alltime an hypnoticaly 20/10
from.frankie smales
(south leeds free press uk)


[








Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #29. Posted on July 15, 2007, 02:34:59 PM by BoyScoutKevin
Yeah, Amanda Donohoe was pretty good at hypnotizing people. A hitchhkiking boy scout. The local constable. The village virgin. But not the local lord. He must be made of sterner stuff. LOL!
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #30. Posted on February 23, 2008, 09:26:45 AM by movieguy247
I totally dig this movie! It's so weird that you can't help loving it. It opened in January 1989 (here in Philadelphia) at the same theater that ran "Rocky Horror Picture Show" every Fri and Sat. I missed it at the time but caught it on video in May 1989. Ken Russell is definitely a unique director. Anyone see "Altered States" (1980) or "Crimes Of Passion" (1984)? Check them out.
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #31. Posted on February 25, 2008, 05:26:21 PM by the dambton worm !
hey i see emilio perez machado has posted in this threat!
IF YOU EVER COME BACK TO READ THIS:
i really need a cd of you and your work !
i just cant find anything on the web.
it's impossible.
maybe you never released one. but i gotta know !
 damn i love the dambton worm !

why don't you have a homepage or at least a myspace page ??

please mail me if you read this... gotta get in contact with you !

cheers !
uli  Drink Cheers
Re: The Lair of the White Worm
Reply #32. Posted on February 26, 2008, 07:31:25 PM by BoyScoutKevin
I totally dig this movie! It's so weird that you can't help loving it. It opened in January 1989 (here in Philadelphia) at the same theater that ran "Rocky Horror Picture Show" every Fri and Sat. I missed it at the time but caught it on video in May 1989. Ken Russell is definitely a unique director. Anyone see "Altered States" (1980) or "Crimes Of Passion" (1984)? Check them out.

I've seen "Altered States," but except for clips on youtube.com, I haven't seen "Crimes of Passion." Which one did you see mg247? The edited one or the unedited one? The unedited one is suppose to be better, as it creates more empathy for the heroine.

I have seen some of his other weird and non-weird films. Oh, wait . . . He doesn't make non-weird films, Some of his more weird films I've seen include "Lair of the White Worm," "Salome's Last Dance," "Aria," "Gothic," "Altered States," "Valentino," "Tommy," "The Devils," and "The Music Lovers." Some of his less werd films I've see include "Billion Dollar Brain," "Women in Love," "The Boy Friend," "The Rainbow," "Women and Men: Stories of Seduction," and "Prisoner of Honor."
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