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XANADU - 1 Slime
Rated PG
Copyright 1980 Universal Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Kira - Olivia Newton John! Muse and organic mood ring supreme, one moment she's glowing blue, then orange, etc.
  • Sonny - Starving artist and nice guy, except he throws all his trash out the window.
  • Danny - Gene Kelly! Rich man who is unhappy with life until deciding to build Xanadu.
  • Simpson - Sonny's old boss, pretty much a run of the mill evil corporate overlord.
  • The Other Starving Artists - Sonny's friends.
  • Dancers - Also the daughters of Zeus, after noticing their ethnic diversity I'd say he gets around.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

What has Olivia Newton John, Gene Kelly, roller skates, lots of glowing blue people, quasi disco music, and never ends?

Exactly - Hell.

Living in this fairy tale torture chamber is Sonny, he is an artist with talent, at painting album covers at least. This is why Kira, daughter of Zeus and inspiration for fine art everywhere, decides he is the only one who can make Xanadu happen. With Danny providing venture capital of course. All of this nicely explains the decline of Greek civilization, Zeus and his siblings are spending their time opening roller skate dance clubs. Meanwhile the Greek population is burning goats at a furious pace hoping for a little help against these Roman fellows. ("Could we have another Alexander please, this disco thing you turned us on to is very nice, but now everyone else wants to kick our ass.") Did I mention the two lovers briefly change into a Don Bluth animation? Where's a bucket of dip when you need it...

This review is dedicated to Jenn Reinhart, recently my friend Todd and the young lady exchanged vows. Love works in odd ways, couldn't you have found a woman with less offensive social problems? (Jenn likes this movie.) Making body noises in crowded elevators maybe?

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Artists are litterbugs.
  • Most Skittles commercials were inspired by Olivia Newton John.
  • Gene Kelly can play the clarinet.
  • Mopeds are slower than roller skating women.
  • Dubbing tap scenes was beyond 1980's technology.
  • Gene Kelly does not look good in a pink pimp suit.
  • Zeus can't tell time.
  • If you use the same group of dancers over and over the one Asian girl is going to stand out.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - Let me guess, each time the changing craft orbits we get one title. Darn, I'm right...
  • 5 mins - Where in the hell did we get dancing blue people from?
  • 15 mins - How did Gene Kelly get to the pier so fast?
  • 24 mins - Enough with the screwy dissolves.
  • 37 mins - Maybe I'll get lucky and these two morons will skate into that huge fan.
  • 49 mins - You got your 80's all over my 40's. Hey, your 40's are all over my 80's...
  • 60 mins - That disturbed me.
  • 73 mins - Dude, skate through the wall, it'll work! Do it! Yes, build up speed, go, go! What the heck, that worked? Gads I hate this film.
  • 90 mins - Olivia Newton John is singing country, everything going black, mommy...

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note xanadu1.wav Sonny: "I run into this girl this morning. Never saw before in my life; she kisses me and disappears."
Danny: "What's so weird about that?"
Green Music Note xanadu2.wav Simpson: "If you start making changes, then other people start making changes, and before you know it you have a lot of people running around doing what they want to do. That's not a company."
Green Music Note xanadu3.wav Kira: "You're supposed to be an artist. Use your imagination."
Sonny: "Oh thanks a lot; I'm all out."
Green Music Note xanadu4.wav Kira: "I come from Mount Halycon. I'm the daughter of Zeus."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipxanadu1.mpg - 1.9m
The movie starts with dancing blue people. I am saying my prayers and looking for some hard alcohol to dull the pain.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 8 9 [10] 11 12 13
Xanadu
Reply #73. Posted on August 16, 2004, 10:03:55 PM by Posiedon
One good thing from this movie: people now know why I sunk Atlantis.
Xanadu
Reply #74. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by johnpenn
On long drives me and my sister will sing together through the whole movie.  There comes a point when a movie (what I call) 'crosses over'.  Then it doesn't matter what you think about it.    

'Xanadu' is like a benign tumor grown together with my soul.  It won't hurt me but it can't be removed.

I loved when the muses in the mural started coming to life.

I'm hopeless.  
Xanadu
Reply #75. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Scorch
Silly movie but entertaining anyways and what happened to her accent now? It's like she lost so much of it. Now she talks like a barelyBritish American\\Australian muse. That stronger British accent she had was one of the most charming things about her in Xanadu and Grease and other things she's done before the middle 1980's. I miss her recognisable accent, dammit! There, I feel a bit betta now.
Xanadu
Reply #76. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Kelly
Is it just me or did anyone else have a hard time believing the love story in Xanadu?  Every time Olivia Newton-John has to kiss Michael Beck she has this expression on her face like she's thinking "I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth."  No wonder she's always running away from him in nearly every scene.  She's not trying to be coy, she's just trying not to lose an eye from that gigantic schnozz of his.  

Speaking of his schnozz, you can't deny it's huge.  I mean, even as a fish and a bird he had a massive nose.  Score one to Don Bluth for that. If you listen really closely you can hear Gene Kelly insult his nose in the bandstand scene.

Danny:  Things are bigger now.  ANd this place--WHOO--sure is big....just like your schnozz.

Okay, so the "just like your schnozz" bit I made up, but you can't deny there were clear implications there.
Xanadu
Reply #77. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Blue Leopard
Gods... I remember this came out where I lived the same week my sister was born. My Mom and sis were still in the hospital (C-section) and Dad took me to the movies & McD's because we were bored and hungry at home. That's the best I can say about this film, although the animated segment was pretty well done.

P.S. Swamprat, I almost fell off my chair from laughing so hard at your first review... and the second and third. And if your marriage has survived this, it will survive *anything*...
Xanadu
Reply #78. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Arm Commander
Run! It's the tormenting Xanadu Monster! Only I and the Marauders are strong enough to put this monster to rest! Give me the D-Gun, boys!

It's time for some unsettled score to finish!
Xanadu
Reply #79. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Tys Miha
 You missed a "something to watch for"... at 14 minutes Sonny actually jumps the shark with his moped. At least I think theres a shark down there, but I'm guessing they had to edit it out because it wouldn't sign a release once it got a look at the script.
Xanadu
Reply #80. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by hutter
Thank God this move was made. I used to have a terrible time with insomnia, but now all it takes to fall asleep in 5-9 minutes is to pop this bad boy in. I'm not making this up as a joke, I really play this glitter encrusted turd when I can't fall asleep. Another good thing about Xanadu, its easier to stomach than NyQuil.
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