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COMMANDO - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1985 Silver Pictures and 20th Century Fox
Reviewed by Bill Clark on 11 July 2001

The Characters:  

  • Col. John Matrix - Arnold Schwarzenegger! Fearless hero who will stop at nothing to save his daughter from evil men.
  • Cindy - Rae Dawn Chong! Innocent bystander turned Arnie's accomplice. Lots of bad acting and puns from her.
  • Arius - Dan Hedaya! Our villain who is determined to make Matrix perform an assassination in order to regain political power. Horrible accent! Takes about four shotgun blasts to the chest.
  • Bennett - Vernon Wells! Arius' main henchman, who also has a military past with Matrix. (What a shock!) Gets impaled by a piece of piping. Shame.
  • Jenny Matrix - Alyssa Milano! Matrix's daughter, who spends most of the movie squealing and trying to escape Arius' compound.
  • Major Gen. Franklin Kirby - Matrix's "boss," so to speak. His job is to warn Matrix of the impending danger.
  • Sully - Another one of Arius' goons. Makes for several hilarious scenes. Dropped off a cliff.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

You'd think that after "The Terminator" the bad guys would know not to mess with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

This is a movie that is hardly plot-driven. It's more of an excuse for Arnold to dispense of the baddies in as many ways as possible. Let's just say that there are plenty of them to dispense of!

In Arnold's breakthrough film (at least in terms of him having spoken lines in a movie), he is pitted against a gang of thugs commanded by Arius, an evil dictator who wants to regain his political power by assassinating the current leader (it's explained in the movie for about two minutes). Who can do the job? John Matrix of course! To up the ante, the goons kidnap his daughter, Jenny (a very young Alyssa Milano).

From here the movie basically becomes Rambo times ten. Matrix is literally a one man army, and literally takes on an army (see the last twenty minutes of the film). Arnold's presence alone makes the film a blast to watch, and his dry humor works surprisingly well.

The action sequences are frequent and extremely violent. Some of the more gruesome deaths (cutting off part of a guy's head with a sawblade, cutting off appendages, etc.) just look silly. I'm sure all who were involved knew this would be a silly movie. Nevertheless, the action is perfectly outlandish and only Arnold (well, maybe Stallone) could have pulled this one off.

But the movie is so bad! With a plethora of continuity errors, bad acting, and implausibility in general, this is an easy flick to write off as mindless fun. A must-see!

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Receiving approximately ten seconds of high voltage electricity throughout the body does NOT hamper a person's fighting skills.
  • An incinerator door, when removed for use as a shield, is NOT hot.
  • Jumping off a plane's landing gear into a swamp with a depth of about three feet does not get you wet or cause any bodily harm.
  • Expensive sports cars can repair themselves after being flipped.
  • The bad guys will NEVER shoot you when you are about to detonate a bomb.
  • It is possible to remove a piece of metal piping from a wall and impale someone with it, then have one end shoot out steam.
  • Malls have an unlimited number of cops who will spend all of their energy on one man.
  • Crashing head-on into a telephone pole does no bodily harm to you, whether you are wearing a seatbelt or not.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - That's what steroids will do for you!
  • 13 mins - Shed? That's an armory!
  • 37 mins - Did someone just push Sully out of the elevator? Nah...he was in there alone...I think.
  • 40 mins - Is that rope attached to that person's leg to assist Arnold in holding him up by one foot? Say it ain't so!
  • 42 mins - What!? I thought that car was wrecked!
  • 44 mins - Oh ok, it's wrecked again!
  • 47 mins - RANDOM ACT OF BREAKING DOWN A DOOR TO A ROOM WHERE PEOPLE ARE HAVING SEX!
  • 57 mins - What a shot by Rae Dawn!
  • 75 mins - Hasn't that "extra" been killed once before already?
  • 82 mins - Oh come on Arnold! You're stronger!
  • 83 mins - Ouch.
  • 84 mins - Ouch again.

Quotes: 

  • Matrix: "Don't disturb my friend; he's dead tired."
  • Matrix: "I eat Green Berets for breakfast"
  • Matrix: "I'll be back Bennett!" (He really says it!)
  • Matrix: "Let off some steam Bennett!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note commando1.wav Bad Guy: "My people have got some business with you, and if you want your kid back then you've got to cooperate. Right?"
Matrix: "Wrong!" (Gunshot)
Green Music Note commando2.wav Arius: "Your father seems to be cooperating. You will be together with him soon. Won't that be nice?"
Jenny: "Not nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in!"
Green Music Note commando3.wav Cindy having a cow.
Green Music Note commando4.wav Matrix: "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"
Sully: "That's right, Matrix. You did!"
Matrix: "I lied." (Sound of Sully falling a long way.)
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipcommando1.mpg - 1.9m
Arnold is making his assault on Arius' fortress and cutting a swathe through the fodder thrown before him. Watch the one guy on the far left who falls down. Must have been hit by a ricochet or something...

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6
Commando
Reply #33. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by John Pickett III
Great movie.  I want to buy it and it to my B movie collection.  During Arnie's assult on the base, I noticed something strange, he must have mastered a force shield technique.  I know this because he can shoot people, but he can not be shot.  I think that he should show are boys and girls this technique all over the world.

Just my 2 cents.

John
Re: Commando
Reply #34. Posted on April 12, 2007, 09:15:11 PM by Torgo
Re: Commando
Reply #35. Posted on September 18, 2007, 05:36:23 PM by Torgo
Just a friendly reminder to all Commando fans that the director's cut DVD came out on September 18th and is most excellent.

.

Also, be sure to check out  http://commandofans.com/ as they were greatly responsible for helping to get Fox to make this special edition Commando DVD.
Re: Commando
Reply #36. Posted on November 09, 2007, 08:50:31 PM by Torgo
Re: Commando
Reply #37. Posted on November 09, 2007, 11:30:30 PM by AndyC
I've posted this before, but it's worth another look. A side-by side comparison of Bennett and Freddie Mercury. Coincidence?
Re: Commando
Reply #38. Posted on November 12, 2007, 11:55:20 AM by Flangepart
Something who impressed me a lot with this movie is the soldier who is killed at least 16 times.. He always returns a scene later in a different situation and he is killed again by Arnold!!!
Clone soldiers!

Arnie is Arnie. Whats not to love. Man, i wish I sold the blanks to the wepons master....I'd have a fortuine!
Re: Commando
Reply #39. Posted on December 19, 2007, 09:55:29 PM by Torgo
Re: Commando
Reply #40. Posted on December 20, 2007, 02:03:37 PM by asimpson2006
I love this film.  It's corny at times, but Bennett is such a bad ass.  Nothing says bad ass like wearing a chain mail vest and fighting with a knife. 

It's funny to watch Arnold attempted comedy, it's too good.
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