| THE 1999 MAILBAG |
From: James Bermingham
Hi, I want info, stills, video on the film Sumuru? Can you help me?
Hey there, I'm guessing you're after the 1967 version (there is a 1927 film, but I've never seen it and the description I dug up makes it look "normal") which has some secret agents foiling the plan of a female megalomaniac. Oh, and good old Klaus Kinski of course. I'm also guessing you saw the MST3K version of this, they've been responsible from introducing dozens of b-movies into the mainstream.
I found the following:
http://www.planetout.com/pno/kiosk/popcornq/db/getfilm.html?1820
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0061976
Video Search of Miami carries the tape for $25, it's probably a version cut onto VHS from a collector's 8mm. Drop by there and search for it by name. (The full title is "The Million Eyes of Sumuru.")
http://www.vsom.com/
All in all you're not really going to find multimedia files for this one, going to a search engine like Infoseek or Yahoo and browsing for "Sumuru" or "Klaus Kinski" might turn up something as well. |
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From: Oscar Garcia
Hey how's it going? Man I love what you did to the site it really rocks!! Just wrote to tell you that I really loved your review of ROTLD, and to ask a questin. Are you ever going to review the king of all cheesie sci-fi flicks Flash Gordon? I mean the movie has it all, horroble costumes, bad dialog and who could forget those cheap ass hawkmen with the cardboard wings? How can you not love the Attack on War-rocket Ajax that has to be the single most hillarius fight scene in movie history? The movie is a classic. Also do you remember an '80s barbarian flick with a guy that had a sword with 3 blades? I belive 2 of the blades flew out, but they never explained how he got them back on the sword. Keep up the good work.
Hey boss, thanks. I do plan on getting to the old Flash Gordon movies, just waiting for their release on DVD. (Guessing that should happen, with all the box sets coming out, if not I'll pick up one of the LD box sets for cheap $ one day.) The sword and sorcery movie you're after is actually called "The Sword and the Sorceror." It's sitting right behind me on the bookshelf in VHS form... |
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From: BryonySF@aol.com
I love horror movies, particularly bad ones, and I was at first delighted to find your site. However, your sexism is a total turnoff.
Want to know what I mean? You make at least one remark validating the "truth" that women want to kill men. Also the reviews are written as if for men. You alert them to female nudity and lesbian sex scenes, for example, and constantly refer to female nudity as a "redeeming quality."Tongue in cheek? No, more like tongue hanging out, pant, pant, pant.
You forget there are many female horror fans and, consequentally, are extremely offensive to many women. This is the year 1999, not 1959, so get in touch with social reality, will you?
Responding to this email was an unexpected delight for me; I do so love arguing with certain people.
If you haven't realized - my reviews are often based on satire. B-movies are trademarked for fake gore, random acts of violence, and pointless female nudity. Now about female nudity... ...I AM A HETEROSEXUAL MALE, YOU MORON. If seeing a nude female didn't interest me I'd be either gay or over sixty years of age, without pharmaceutical augmentation. Notice two glaring factors you ignored in a blind charge to assert my sexist attitude. First off I also point out male nudity in the films - often accomplished by yelling something about not needing to see another man's rear and ending with "No! Arrggghhh!" Secondly, in all the images and picture files on the site you will not find one single nude female. Frontal nudity that is; there are one or two rear shots, but the one which comes to mind ("Welcome to Planet Earth") illustrates a point I made in my Lessons. Considering the website has over 700 images and over 200 videos that speaks volumes.
I don't wish to, nor expect to change your opinion. Please do not visit the site ever again. |
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This is an IM conversation between Gary and myself. He was having some keyboard problems...
Badmovies: So, have you seen a copy of Melissa yet?
Czganczy: A copy of Meissa?
Czganczy: (My e11 key is acting up)
Badmovies: Hehehe!
Badmovies: New Word Macro Virus.
Czganczy: Nah.
Czganczy: I don't worry about such things much.
Badmovies: Hmm, I think we will start seeing it by the end of this week, it's much like Happy99.
Czganczy: Ah yes, what a joy.
Badmovies: Of course, well check wired.com out, they have an article on it.
Czganczy: Okie, wi do, thanks!
Badmovies: Oh, the message board is open for business. Some people have already posted.
Czganczy: I saw :)
Czganczy: Good to see it actuay, think it wi do we.
Czganczy: (goddamn this keyboard)
Badmovies: You have to stop that, it's cracking me up.
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| Our next email was submitted as a user comment on Delicatessen |
From: elliot_breeden@woodberry.org
You must be completely devoid of all brain cells. Anyone with the intelligence quotiant of an ichthyoid would see Delicatessen as a great movie. You have obviously completely missed what the movie about. Anyone who would call this movie bad is a certified moron. Spare us all and shut the hell up from now on.
Amazing how many insults you can put out in a few sentences, isn't it? You obviously didn't take time to read through the site and understand my motives. Dispensing criticism, without fully understanding your subject, is the trait of a complete jackass. I liked this movie, anything with a four slime rating is definitely worth watching. Not many people are going to pick up a film subtitled in English about apartment dwellers eating their handymen. I will, I'll go out and find those movies which are the hidden gems most would pass by. You, my ignoramus friend, probably have a difficult time accepting other's views when you manage to understand them. In this case you entirely missed mine, go and throw bones at the monolith for a while. Oh, and by the way, your ranting is missing a word, I suspect "is" was meant to precede "about." In addition, "quotient" is the correct spelling. Accusing someone of being a moron is much less convincing when you fail to proofread.
Run along and tell mommy the bad Marine called you a male donkey, that is all.
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From: Sandy
Just a quick note to let you know I finally received the video "Santa Claus", possibly the worst movie ever to take up space. It IS the one I wanted, you were right on the mark. You really know your bad movies. Thanks again.
Good to go! I'm about to place another order myself (picking up that one, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," and a few other titles). Oh, Amazon.com offers "The Terror of Tiny Town" if you really like bad movies. It's a western, but the entire cast are midgets. Shetland ponies and all... (of course I own a copy).
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From: James
Why would you give "Raiders of Wu-Tang" and "Kung Fu of Eight Drunkards" a rating of Pg-13?
Well, there's a bit of nudity in "Drunken Wu Tang" (Princess' butt goes waggling by sans clothing.), but other than that it's just the violence from the fight scenes. Perhaps they'd be PG - I'm just giving my opinion.
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From: Juan
Hey, I e-mailed you before (I'm sure you remember :)!) Anyways, I was wondering why you didn't have a message board, so that all us lovers of bad movies can talk (sorta) to each other and waste endless hours on your site? I think it would be a great idea, and hey, you better give me some credit for the idea! And I was hoping I could get on your mailing list for any new stuff or anything, your sites pretty cool and I was hoping I could get the scoop before all of them other guys. Oh, and did you ever see the wonderfully BAD movie, Sundown? It's a vampire flick that's surprisingly good, and it had the one, the only, David Carradine of Kung-Fu fame! It's like a western/vampire movie, with a lot of good premises like artificial blood and wooden bullets (how do wooden bullets keep accurate? Would the wood sustain the velocity? Who cares?) Anyway, I hope that I ain't bugging you with this SECOND e-mail. I hope that your site gets the recognition it deserves. Peace out and Semper Fidelis! (I wish I was a Marine...)
Juan, I couldn't remember your first email off the top of my head (the site does generate a surprising amount), but I sure as heck had it in my archive. You suggested "Terrorvision" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." Thank goodness for good filing habits. "Sundown" is one I'm pretty sure to have watched. It has a batlike creature on the cover and a field in the foreground? Think Steve and myself rented this once, more than likely yours truely fell asleep. I've done that on a few movies, one time Steve woke me ranting about how bad the flick was. Something about traveling to Mars, then the astronauts are crossing a lake on a raft and snakes attack. Sometimes it's difficult to communicate with Steve after he's been drinking Wild Turkey... Gary (The Server Administrator) and myself were discussing a message board the other day. I'm going to try and draft something up using PHP in the near future. That's the same language the User Comments system is using.
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From: Squishy the Squid
Aw, damn, killer site. Visited it back when you only had four flicks, glad I came back to visit. Reviews are so funny I almost crapped myself. Just one idiot detail I didn't see in the Mutant review, which, for me, was the funniest moment of jaw-dropping stupidity in the only film I've ever walked out of (with less than five minutes left!). Not only does Doc Tate not notice her assistant mutating into a zombie-vampire less than five feet away, the mutation occurs in stages exactly as Tate describes them into her recorder! Oh, God, the memories! Would love to see King Kong Lives (sequel to the 1976 remake) join your batch of bad films. Keep up the excellent work.
Thanks, I'm glad you didn't crap yourself on account of my site though - the legal implications are obvious. Can't you just see that one in front of Judge Wapner? Entirely correct about the assistant turning into a mutant in time with her description, awful... ...I still shudder when that movie comes to mind.
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| This actually came in as a comment for Carnosaur |
From: Anonymous
please show more naked women
As in there are already naked women on the site? Where? Unless it's the stripper who is always sitting on top the server when I visit (she's some sort of weird "Bad Movie" groupie) then it's doubtful you've seen one.
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From: JOKER54677@aol.com
you stupid rhetard who has no social lifwe make a better webssite. drewbie094 is the only person who likess it.
Now, I'm guessing he was speaking about my Monster Island website folks, not Badmovies.org. Unfortunately the idea of letting me know which flew out the window, right along with everything else. Don't laugh, your tax dollars are paying for this lad's education, including the spelling class.
Hey, do you want some more information on this harsh critic of the web? Here's his profile via AOL:
Member Name: JOHN M. OR MIKE ROCH OR SEYMOUR BUTZ
Location: PLANET SHAKATAZOOKATIEFIDCKLYDUM
Birthdate: 500 A.D.
Sex: Male
Marital Status: I AM A PLAYA IN A PLAYA TOWN
Hobbies: DRUMS,LISTENING TO THE BEST BAND EVERCLEAR,BASKETBALL
Computers: ONE THAT MAKES BILL GATES LOOK LIKE ALEX
Occupation: SCHOOL JANITOR HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Personal Quote: "I ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST LAUGH" -JOKER "EVERCLEAR RULZ!" -JOKER "A GUN A DAY KEEPS A BULLY AWAY!" -JOKER "JUST PICTURE ME ROLLIN'" -2PAC
Well, I decided to instant message the young miscreant. Perhaps to learn exactly what was wrong with the website, my truthful expectation was some half wit throwing insults at me.
Badmovies: If you're going to call someone a retard or insult their website you might consider checking a dictionary...
Badmovies: Okay, that's the two minute rule for responding. Scratching your head and wondering who the heck I am? It's the guy who runs Monster Island and Badmovies.org - sent me an email earlier, remember?
Badmovies: Let me help you out: "you stupid rhetard who has no social lifwe make a better webssite. drewbie094 is the only person who likess it."
Badmovies: Okay, and now it's been five minutes. Next time you plan on degrading anyone I suggest sticking to someone less intelligent than yourself. Probably better stay away from bigger boys as well, despite your "gangsta" profile.
System: JOKER54677 is not currently signed on.
I should have expected as much, but feel free to express your thoughts on the matter directly to JOKER54677@aol.com, he's sure to appreciate it.
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From: Steve DeShazo
You must review this movie. A terrible Kung Fu movie. It is called Kung Fu From Beyond The Grave. It involves the not so ordinary theatrics of kung fu movies and their budgets. There are zombies, these merlin looking guys with tongues that touch the ground, rituals that involve stealing hearts out of mortals (only during orgasms) , a white guy who is supposed to be dracula, and this hell bent magician with a really kooky face. The special defects department really went all out with Atari looking lightning bolts and stuff. This is a must review. I think that Ocean Shores Video made it. Thank you.
"Kung Fu from Beyond the Grave!' I'll put this one on my "More Slime I'm Looking For" list right away! It sounds crazy, just like Drunken Wu Tang was. Too bad I have no idea where this Navy bomb loader named John is anymore - he had a great line on the crazy Kung Fu movies. (I owe knowing about "The Crippled Masters" to him.)
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From: Todd Reinhart
Jeff told me a funny story last night after he got off the phone with you. He wanted to tell you but forgot. One of Jeff's coworkers at CBS apparently teaches at Columbia, and is a big fan of your site. During a break in a lecture (he apparently teaches a computer based course in image manipulation or something) he went to your site and showed some of the people who stayed in the classroom your site as well as downloaded some MPG's. Apparently another speaker got up after the break and as she was starting her presentation she noticed an odd media icon on the desktop which she clicked and opened one of your MPGs on a 9'x12' projection screen. Apparently the whole class died with laughter although Jeff couldn't remember which clip it was. Anyway, thought you'd get a kick out of that little story....
HEHEHEHEHEHE! (Todd is a personal friend of mine.)
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From: DMG
Hello!
I used to write for a bad movie site myself, the Movie Pit ( www.geocities.com/athens/9200/index.html ). I appreciate your cause of exposing and reviewing bad movies. I have seen quite an amount of bad films. You gotta see "Disco Godfather", or under its alternate title, "Avenging Disco Godfather." If you ever need help reviewing any movies, put me in charge of "Manos-the Hands of Fate." Easily the worst film I have ever seen. Well, keep up the good work.
P.S. I kick ass for the Lord!
You know, I need to start up a section for reviews submitted by others. Guess I could do it manually for now, someday automating it would be even better. Another gentlemen by the name of David Emery dropped off a review for "Christmas Evil" (which I haven't seen, but it looks darn good) and the piece is very well written. After doing some other website work I'm going to slide that review in somewhere... ...sorry, a little sidetracked. If you want to write up a review for "Manos: The Hands of Fate" - I'm all about posting it and giving you credit. Really need to find someone who wants to work on a whole section one of these days, like doing interviews (Phone, face to face, email, IRC, etc) with people involved in bad movies (actors, directors, special effects, etc).
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| Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2008 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder. |
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Little girls will happily substitute a big, ugly toad for a doll. 