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Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Started by Vajra, November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM

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booga

Uh...did not read all the comments, but I think that the webmaster would like a small detail: the yellow haired priest with sunglasses getting killed at the beach with father Alban is "father Avellino".

This movie is simply great!

Jesus (it is no joke that is my name)

This is a great movie, the story was good and the fight sequences made me feel like i was watching a movie of Santo: El Enmascarado de Plata (I'am from Mexico) and for those who belive that this movie is meant to make Jesus look bad they have to see it to the end because at the end Jesus have a very truthfull line "Don't follow me, follow my teachings" oh and if someone knows where i can get the Harry Knuckles and the treasure of the Aztec Mummy movie please send me an e-mail

Mitchell Pineo

omg i loved that movie! it wasn't bad! it was halarious though. i didnt under stand the wrestler but i like his line "make sure you get my good side, or you'ill get on my bad side"

burlesque

I love this movie

...He came from heaven/Two stakes in his hand...

lol

Max Alan Zoller

Maybe the best film after "Life of Brian". Yes I'm an atheist (I hope that Jesus doesn't kick the crap out of me) but JCVS isn't really all that blasphemous. Yes Jesus does kung-fu, yes God talks to Jesus through a bowl of ice cream, yes Mary does say that God loves lesbians etc...but... Some messages in the film are really good: "Don't follow me, follow my teachings" and "There is nothing devious in love" are truly great phrases. That said this film is ultra-cool, and believe me, if Jesus was like the one in this movie, I'm going to become a cristian!

Luriko-Ysabeth

It was your review of this movie that inspired me to rent it (and watch it with two friends and a sister), and we all loved it immensely (albeit with a few reservations, which keep it from being One of the Greatest [on the x-axis, where x equals entertainment derived] Movies of All Time). Thank you very much.

I confess to being puzzled by some of the comments: nobody watches a movie such as this for the Truth about anything (at least, I devoutly hope not), but rather for fun, entertainment, and theology bent as far as it can be without actively being insulted. (Some people also watch for insulted theology, but that isn't really my thing.) In addition, I didn't find the movie blasphemous so much as irreverent; the most questionable part might be that Christ was ridiculously underpowered for most of the movie, and I presume that was meant to give the population of Toronto every chance to get up off their butts and help save their own city from the vampires (and also because a movie that didn't would go as follows:
Vampires: Grraaagh...!
Christ: Be healed!
Vampires: *fall over as they turn back into living, breathing humans*
Audience: *snores* )
although it would have been nice if there'd been a line or two of dialogue that fully established this, perhaps in the cherries jubilee scene. (I also confess to being far too amused by the idea that, when apostles fail, it's time to call in El Santo or the nearest compatible thereof.)

But when it comes down to it, the plot remains the perfectly orthodox "the Son of Man comes to Earth, makes sure to look like any ordinary slob, gets attention with eye-catching stunts, specifically ministers to a group often perceived as outcast by God as well as man, and witnesses to/preaches love, understanding, and not murdering people for your own vanity," albeit festooned with vampires, luchadores, hot women, nonhot women inexplicably presented as hot, a ton of jokes from a nonhostile standpoint, and modern-day Toronto. I would certainly recommend this for viewing and discussion by the teen education class of any sufficiently irreverence-tolerant church, including that of my own.

Magi

I am a proud owner of this movie. I love it!

Java Black

I must say... one thing perplexes me (I realize the movie isn't to be taken seriously, but this little thing bothers me).

When the vampires are "cured"... why do they take on the personalities of the lesbians whose skin they are wearing instead of their own pre-vampire personalities?
Or were they lesbians (and a bi) prior to being infected with vampirism by coincidence?

It seems that the list of things learned should be that the soul is carried through the skin...

DoctorMcShocker

My friend, my little brother and i just finished this movie and let me say that this movie is the reason people commit suicide. I feel like i just took a sledgehammer to the nuts while getting a titty twister from a cordless drill. But this was just a warm up for us. Next we have to get through Manos: Hands of Fate.

Christian Campbell

It wasn't that the vampires couldn't swim; Father Alban had blessed the lake, so they succumbed to holy water. Don't worry, I missed this on my first viewing, too.

Kesha

JCVH is a well-written, thoughtful, and definitely not irreverant. Jesus saves the community, after all. Great soundtrack, too.

Eddie

Looks like a film that could be good because it is so bad.

Comment from JJ really disturbs me here.
Yes, the truth of Christianity is in the bible and do you know what, that book just makes Christianity look intolerant, nasty, absolutist and against nature. Authoritarian, exploitative religions like Christianity and Islam disturb me because of what is written in their respective books, their influence and the actions of their followers. Jesus, a fine example of a proper human being, but then the bible goes on to be against many things which we now know are perfectly natural. As a Humanist I know the affect Christianity in its true form can have and I fight for a fair secular society. So listen to that, JJ.

TooManyCustomers

   I dig everything about it, the acting, the sets, the lines, the lesbians (imagine that.. ), the song and dance routine.. god in a bowl of cherries (i was hoping for french toast, but you can't have everything) and Mary Magnum.. oh holy crap, Mary Magnum..

 Just an absolute winner in my book.. Sadly I haven't been so successful proselytizing to my friends, but I feel I may convert them to fans yet..


Rev. Powell

It occurred to me that if this had been made in the age of YouTube, it would probably have been posted there as a 20 minute short rather than a feature film.  At that length it would have been just about perfect.  There are some laughs here, but in my book not enough to fill up 90 minutes.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rebel Ed

As this is a Caadian film, permit me to quote a favourite Canadian, Dan Akroyd (playing his charachter, Leonard Pinth-Garnell): "Well.  That wasn't very good, was it?"  :lookingup: