Main Menu

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BAD MOVIES.

Started by CheezeFlixz, June 28, 2008, 09:46:38 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Flangepart

>  Also, zombies, although they're decaying corpses, don't seem to smell.<
Hence, nobody ever asks "WHAT is that smell!" before they get et.

Mutant fish always seem to want to become land hunters.
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Alex

Punching out a window is easy and has no risk of injury.
Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

AoTFan

#137
Any bonehead with a paper clip, hairpin, or just some loose wires can pick a lock in under a minute.

Any bonehead can fly a plane and/or deliver a baby.  Heck, it's possible to do both at once.

It's really easy to knock someone out with just one punch, and you don't have to worry about them suffering a concussion.  

When being chased by a monster/killer/mutant creature, don't bother to stop and explain the situation to any passerby you happen to come across, odds are they're dogmeat anyway.

Alien planets always look suspiciously like Arizona.

Most alien females (even if they seem to be a reptilian-based species) will inexplicably have boobs and look just human enough to be hot.

A lot of places in the United States have, for some inexplicable reason, signs with Canadian spellings.

Pacman000

Kodak's right; backgrounds shouldn't be cluttered.

AoTFan

In a huge, city-wide disaster is usually still possible to drive from one place to another even if under normal circumstances it would take forever because of regular traffic.

In a zombie apocalypse 99 percent of the remaining population immediately become a***oles.

BoyScoutKevin

Quote from: Dark Alex on May 25, 2017, 08:50:05 AM
Punching out a window is easy and has no risk of injury.

As does being thrown thru a closed window or jumping thru a closed window.

Chainsawmidget

Police constantly get prank phone calls about people being attacked by monsters, maniacs, or ghosts.  That's why they never believe them. 

If you have bullets and you have a gun, the two of them will work together. 

You're not being taught proper martial arts unless you're being taunt by an old man with white hair and probably a mustache of beard. 

Ted C

The lone scientist opposed by the scientific consensus is always right. Or he's the villain. Flip a coin on that one.
"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits

LilCerberus

One thing cops hate more than having to do their jobs, is when citizens do it for them.
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

AoTFan

Never trust a hot chick that inexplicably that wants to make out with you.  Odds are good they either a) just after money, b) possessed by some demon/monster and want to kill you or c) will lead into a trap to get you mugged and/or your kidney/organs removed.

Dogs will save your life in a horror movie... unless you're in Italy.  Then odds are they're just become possessed and rip your throat out.

Always inquire as to WHY the house/property is so insanely cheap BEFORE you go moving in.

Stealing s**t from dead people never ends well.

If your dog/cat/horse or other pet acts really weird and squirrely around one particular person, immediately shoot said person.  Odds are they're up to no good anyway.

Running a fruit stand is one of these most dangerous business in the world, as these are often destroyed during reckless, high speed car chases.

Chainsawmidget

"There's a local legend about ..." no.  It's not a legend.  It really happened and it's probably going to happen again.   Soon. 

Never ever EVER go to an old cabin in the middle of the woods for spring break/summer break/the last trip before college.  If you are going, check the place out before you spend the night. 


AoTFan

#146
Gas is magical!  Although potent enough that a single line poured on concrete will instantly turn into a snake of fire when you drop a lit cigarette on it, you can soak a room (or yourself) with it and nothing will ignite until the flame actually touches something.

BTW In reality, gas makes these things called "fumes" that can combust pretty damn easily.

Also, getting shot is no big deal!  Odds are the bullet will just "go right through" and you'll be at the hospital laughing at your buddies in a few hours with NO loss of mobility or painful rehabilitation.

LilCerberus

From  just about every '60s sci-fi / fantasy ever made:
Spending days, weeks, months, or even years lost in the desert/swamp/jungle ETC. will have absolutely NO effect on a bouffant hairdo.
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

kakihara

you can avoid being hit by bullets by running in a zig-zag pattern.
you can actually dodge bullets  with cartwheels, rolling to one side, or jumping through windows.
with a little practice, you can kill or disarm someone with a knife or shuriken before they shoot you.
exterminate all rational thought.....

kakihara

....and you can treat gun shot wounds and stab wounds with whiskey.
-Whiskey not only fights infection but its also an anesthesia.
-Whiskey is  great for meal replacement and rehydration.
-Old army jeeps can run on whiskey, except russion jeeps, they run on vodka.
exterminate all rational thought.....