The truly terrible joke thread

Olivia Bauer · January 24, 2011, 05:51:28 PM

*The Doctor knocks on your door*
You: "Who's there?"
The Doctor: "The Doctor!"
You: "Doctor Who?"
The Doctor: "Exactly!"

diamondwaspvenom · January 24, 2011, 06:52:19 PM

*Disclaimer* If you laugh at this, you'll go to hell.

A rabbi and a catholic priest are urinating in a bathroom in two seperate urinals. The rabbi looks over to the catholic priest and notices a nicotine patch on his dick. The rabbi asks: "Why is that on your dick? Shouldn't the patch go on your arm?"

The catholic priest answers: "I'm trying to cut down from three butts to one butt a day"

ImaginaryFoot · January 24, 2011, 07:23:24 PM

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she misbehaved? They left the plunger in the toilet.

ImaginaryFoot · January 24, 2011, 07:29:53 PM

Why did the pervert cross the road? His d!ck was stuck in the chicken.

100Nights · January 24, 2011, 08:18:07 PM

Quote from: diamondwaspvenom on January 24, 2011, 06:52:19 PM
*Disclaimer* If you laugh at this, you'll go to hell.

A rabbi and a catholic priest are urinating in a bathroom in two seperate urinals. The rabbi looks over to the catholic priest and notices a nicotine patch on his dick. The rabbi asks: "Why is that on your dick? Shouldn't the patch go on your arm?"

The catholic priest answers: "I'm trying to cut down from three butts to one butt a day"

i laughed, but i already knew i was going to hell.

what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob

ImaginaryFoot · January 24, 2011, 09:55:12 PM

Mommy Mommy i dont like running around in a circle. Shut up or i'll nail your other foot to the floor.

ImaginaryFoot · January 24, 2011, 10:00:03 PM

Mommy Mommy i dont wanna go see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

indianasmith · January 24, 2011, 11:38:47 PM

Mommy mommy I hate Daddy's guts!!

Shut up and eat what's on your plate!

100Nights · January 25, 2011, 12:31:21 AM

What do you call a woman who's left leg is longer than her right?
Ilene.

What if she is from the pacific rim?
Irene.

What do you call a guy with no arms no legs tacked to your wall?
Art.

ImaginaryFoot · January 25, 2011, 01:01:33 AM

Mommy Mommy i dont like this spaghetti. Shut up or i will rip the veins out of your other arm.

ImaginaryFoot · January 25, 2011, 02:56:52 AM

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along the prairie and heard a rumble in the distance. Tonto put his ear to the ground, a few seconds later he said " buffalo come Kemosabe". The Lone Ranger asked how he knew. Tonto said "head stuck to ground".

Trevor · January 25, 2011, 03:08:50 AM

Quote from: ImaginaryFoot on January 25, 2011, 02:56:52 AM
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along the prairie and heard a rumble in the distance. Tonto put his ear to the ground, a few seconds later he said " buffalo come Kemosabe". The Lone Ranger asked how he knew. Tonto said "head stuck to ground".

Trevor · January 26, 2011, 01:48:23 AM

What is the only thing that Chuck Norris can't break?

Justin Bieber's voice.

Olivia Bauer · January 26, 2011, 08:53:15 AM

Quote from: Trevor on January 26, 2011, 01:48:23 AM
What is the only thing that Chuck Norris can't break?

Justin Bieber's voice.

That joke was GOOD! What's it doing on THIS thread?!

BTM · January 31, 2011, 01:19:14 PM

I grew up in a rather abusive family. I remember one time I was in my bedroom and my mom came in all mad at me. She threw me on the bed and started whipping me with whatever was handy. Through the pain I realized, "She's whipping me with my own TOYS!." Can you just see this woman Christmas shopping?

"Yeah, that'll hurt!"