The truly terrible joke thread

[Trevor]

Two guys are swimming in the ocean off Durban, South Africa, when one of them turns around and sees two fins heading towards them. He grabs the other guy and tells him "Look at that!" The other guy goes  and says "If that isn't a 1958 Cadillac, we're in deep sh*t!" 

[Leah]

What is an owl's favorite subject at school? Owlgebra

[Mr. DS]

Where does a snowman keep his money? 

In a snow bank

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Why don't cannibals like clowns?

They taste funny.

[Jack]

What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs.

[Leah]

What did Delaware? Her New Jersey. (Sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings)

[Joe the Destroyer]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[Silverlady]

If you threw a brunnette and a blonde up in the air which one would come down first?
The brunnette ... the blond would have to stop and ask for directions first.

[Cthulhu]

Why did they bury the indian behind the mountain?
Because he died.

There's an other version of this, too:

Why did they bury the fireman behind the mountain?
Because that's where the cemetery is.

[Mr. DS]

Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet?

He was look for Pooh.

[JJ80]

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.........

[Sleepyskull]

A man walks into a bar. He said, "OUCH!"

[Allhallowsday]

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee, no cream.  A moment later, the waiter comes back and says, "We're out of cream.  Can it be no milk?"

[Paquita]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants.  The bartender asks "Hey, why do you got a steering wheel on your pants?" and the pirate says "Arr! It's drivin' me nuts!" 

[Saucerman]

This one's for Indianasmith...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers.