Reveiwing Movies that Don't exist

JaseSF · May 30, 2010, 12:07:28 PM

Title:
The Mutants from the Disco

Movie Tagline
Disco's not dead.... You are!

Characters
Tony Barone - A John Travolta knockoff, only with a third nostril. Killed when a disco ball shatters and a shard lodges in his eyeball.
Eliot Burnsdale - greedy corporate big whig that's illegally dumping toxic waste in a stream that just happens to run by the local disco
Leroy Blaxton - Afro-wearing, super-funky, Bootsy Collins knockoff, and head of the disco mutants. His eyes glow bright gold.
The Mutants - If the Master's favorite satyr had babies. killed by a house cat (i'm not joking)

Plot summary
The year is 1977. The disco phenomonon is in full swing. We are taken to the construction of a new disco dance ballroom, where nearby is a polluted stream. A dump truck drops garbage, broken bottles, and small canisters of some unknown, glowing green material into it....

Flash forward twenty five years. The disco has been boarded up, but a ruthless real estate developer wants to buy the property to turn it into a Coffeebux. He sends his top saleswoman to check out the dilapated property. As she enters the musty old dancehall, she sees a strange glow coming from behind a closed door. She begins to sweat as she reaches a hand to the knob...

Suddenly, a cat springs out of the shadows and startles her momentarily. Realizing what it was, she regains her composure and gives an embarrassed chuckle.....

Things I Learned From This Movie
Disco Balls are full of toxic waste
Platform shoes make great boomerangs.
As long as mutants still exist, disco will live on.

Stuff to Watch for
Opening credits - A surprisingly good synchronized disco dance sequence.
6 minutes - There's a song called "Disco Chihuahua"? What WILL they think of next!
25 minutes - Wow. I didn't think it was possible to do that with a disco ball, but there you have it.

Quotes
"You're gonna like the V.I.P. room. You're not gonna want to leave."
"Disco's dead ma....argghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That Disco ball... It was filled with some type of radioactive goop!"

AndyC · May 30, 2010, 06:27:57 PM

Title:
The Mutants from the Disco

Movie Tagline
Disco's not dead.... You are!

Characters
Tony Barone - A John Travolta knockoff, only with a third nostril. Killed when a disco ball shatters and a shard lodges in his eyeball.
Eliot Burnsdale - greedy corporate big whig that's illegally dumping toxic waste in a stream that just happens to run by the local disco
Leroy Blaxton - Afro-wearing, super-funky, Bootsy Collins knockoff, and head of the disco mutants. His eyes glow bright gold.
The Mutants - If the Master's favorite satyr had babies. killed by a house cat (i'm not joking)

Plot summary
The year is 1977. The disco phenomonon is in full swing. We are taken to the construction of a new disco dance ballroom, where nearby is a polluted stream. A dump truck drops garbage, broken bottles, and small canisters of some unknown, glowing green material into it....

Flash forward twenty five years. The disco has been boarded up, but a ruthless real estate developer wants to buy the property to turn it into a Coffeebux. He sends his top saleswoman to check out the dilapated property. As she enters the musty old dancehall, she sees a strange glow coming from behind a closed door. She begins to sweat as she reaches a hand to the knob...

Suddenly, a cat springs out of the shadows and startles her momentarily. Realizing what it was, she regains her composure and gives an embarrassed chuckle.....

Things I Learned From This Movie
Disco Balls are full of toxic waste
Platform shoes make great boomerangs.
As long as mutants still exist, disco will live on.

Stuff to Watch for
Opening credits - A surprisingly good synchronized disco dance sequence.
6 minutes - There's a song called "Disco Chihuahua"? What WILL they think of next!
25 minutes - Wow. I didn't think it was possible to do that with a disco ball, but there you have it.
40 minutes - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICK DEES

Quotes
"You're gonna like the V.I.P. room. You're not gonna want to leave."
"Disco's dead ma....argghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That Disco ball... It was filled with some type of radioactive goop!"

Rev. Powell · May 30, 2010, 07:19:48 PM

Title:
The Mutants from the Disco

Movie Tagline
Disco's not dead.... You are!

Characters
Tony Barone - A John Travolta knockoff, only with a third nostril. Killed when a disco ball shatters and a shard lodges in his eyeball.
Eliot Burnsdale - greedy corporate big whig that's illegally dumping toxic waste in a stream that just happens to run by the local disco
Leroy Blaxton - Afro-wearing, super-funky, Bootsy Collins knockoff, and head of the disco mutants. His eyes glow bright gold.
The Mutants - If the Master's favorite satyr had babies. killed by a house cat (i'm not joking)

Plot summary
The year is 1977. The disco phenomonon is in full swing. We are taken to the construction of a new disco dance ballroom, where nearby is a polluted stream. A dump truck drops garbage, broken bottles, and small canisters of some unknown, glowing green material into it....

Flash forward twenty five years. The disco has been boarded up, but a ruthless real estate developer wants to buy the property to turn it into a Coffeebux. He sends his top saleswoman to check out the dilapated property. As she enters the musty old dancehall, she sees a strange glow coming from behind a closed door. She begins to sweat as she reaches a hand to the knob...

Suddenly, a cat springs out of the shadows and startles her momentarily. Realizing what it was, she regains her composure and gives an embarrassed chuckle... Only to be shocked when a mutant wearing three platform shoes (one for each foot) jumps out and rips her head off! Now, we get thirty minutes of idiots going back to the disco to see what happened to the last investigator and getting their heads ripped off by Saturday Night Fever rejects to the toe-tapping tunes of the Heebee Jees (a horror/disco Bee Gees tribute band), until finally...

Things I Learned From This Movie
Disco Balls are full of toxic waste
Platform shoes make great boomerangs.
As long as mutants still exist, disco will live on.

Stuff to Watch for
Opening credits - A surprisingly good synchronized disco dance sequence.
6 minutes - There's a song called "Disco Chihuahua"? What WILL they think of next!
25 minutes - Wow. I didn't think it was possible to do that with a disco ball, but there you have it.
40 minutes - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICK DEES

Quotes
"You're gonna like the V.I.P. room. You're not gonna want to leave."
"Disco's dead ma....argghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That Disco ball... It was filled with some type of radioactive goop!"

Leah · May 30, 2010, 09:10:21 PM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:

Characters:

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:

Notable Quotes

InformationGeek · May 30, 2010, 09:19:57 PM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:

Notable Quotes

Rev. Powell · May 30, 2010, 09:33:09 PM

I didn't quite finish off the last one.

Leah · May 30, 2010, 09:38:04 PM

opps, sorry, I didn't see the .... at the end of the plot summary

retrorussell · May 31, 2010, 10:28:20 PM

Title:
The Mutants from the Disco

Movie Tagline
Disco's not dead.... You are!

Characters
Tony Barone - A John Travolta knockoff, only with a third nostril. Killed when a disco ball shatters and a shard lodges in his eyeball.
Eliot Burnsdale - greedy corporate big whig that's illegally dumping toxic waste in a stream that just happens to run by the local disco
Leroy Blaxton - Afro-wearing, super-funky, Bootsy Collins knockoff, and head of the disco mutants. His eyes glow bright gold.
The Mutants - If the Master's favorite satyr had babies. killed by a house cat (i'm not joking)

Plot summary
The year is 1977. The disco phenomonon is in full swing. We are taken to the construction of a new disco dance ballroom, where nearby is a polluted stream. A dump truck drops garbage, broken bottles, and small canisters of some unknown, glowing green material into it....

Flash forward twenty five years. The disco has been boarded up, but a ruthless real estate developer wants to buy the property to turn it into a Coffeebux. He sends his top saleswoman to check out the dilapated property. As she enters the musty old dancehall, she sees a strange glow coming from behind a closed door. She begins to sweat as she reaches a hand to the knob...

Suddenly, a cat springs out of the shadows and startles her momentarily. Realizing what it was, she regains her composure and gives an embarrassed chuckle... Only to be shocked when a mutant wearing three platform shoes (one for each foot) jumps out and rips her head off! Now, we get thirty minutes of idiots going back to the disco to see what happened to the last investigator and getting their heads ripped off by Saturday Night Fever rejects to the toe-tapping tunes of the Heebee Jees (a horror/disco Bee Gees tribute band), until finally...

Olivia Newton-John arrives from the sky (as the muse Kira from Xanadu) and frightens off the mutant Saturday Night Fever rejects with her colored, glowing aura. They appear to have made their escape from her by hiding in Jeff Lyne's hair, but when she opens her mouth and sings "Physical", their eardrums explode, followed shortly by their heads. The world is saved from the mutants (but not from the terrible song) and the film ends.

Things I Learned From This Movie
Disco Balls are full of toxic waste
Platform shoes make great boomerangs.
As long as mutants still exist, disco will live on.

Stuff to Watch for
Opening credits - A surprisingly good synchronized disco dance sequence.
6 minutes - There's a song called "Disco Chihuahua"? What WILL they think of next!
25 minutes - Wow. I didn't think it was possible to do that with a disco ball, but there you have it.
40 minutes - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICK DEES

Quotes
"You're gonna like the V.I.P. room. You're not gonna want to leave."
"Disco's dead ma....argghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That Disco ball... It was filled with some type of radioactive goop!"

Leah · June 01, 2010, 07:36:19 AM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

Flick James · June 01, 2010, 10:11:16 AM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

indianasmith · June 01, 2010, 10:42:26 AM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?" Eaten by a giant booger.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

AndyC · June 01, 2010, 11:01:16 AM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?" Eaten by a giant booger.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:

Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

Mr. DS · June 01, 2010, 11:55:23 AM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?" Eaten by a giant booger.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.

Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

Flick James · June 01, 2010, 12:59:15 PM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?" Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.

Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"

JaseSF · June 01, 2010, 02:28:59 PM

Title:
The Glob of Neptune

Movie Tagline:
From outer space comes, the next big blobish beast!

Characters:
Chet Hickory - stereotypical b-movie small town sheriff who first tries to deal with the advancing glob before the National Guard takes over. Played horribly by an actor with a fake country accent and who has clearly never handled a firearm in his life.
"Boogers" McGee - the lovable town drunk and veteran nose picker, greeted by the bartender with the catchphrase: "What'll it be, McGee?" Eaten by a giant booger.
Ralphie Finkleman - local allergy-plagued college nerd. He is the first to discover that his allergy medicine works as a repellent against the glob. At first nobody takes him seriously.
"Spuds" Malarky - tobacco chewing farmhand cretin with a secret shack full of porn. Eaten by the Glob, shack and all, in the midst of attempting to... gag... pleasure himself.

Plot Summary:

Things I learned from this Movie:
Allergy medicines are the only hope for Earth when it comes to intergalatic warfare.

Stuff to Watch For:
10 minutes - That's the Glob from Neptune? Looks more like a glob from Uranus.

Notable Quotes
"My God, It's Like Reptilicus's acidic muucs and the blob combined!"