Reveiwing Movies that Don't exist

[Chainsawmidget]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
______________


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________

[Rev. Powell]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
______________


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________

[retrorussell]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________

[JaseSF]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
_____________
_____________

[Chainsawmidget]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
_____________

[Rev. Powell]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[AndyC]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[retrorussell]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[AndyC]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[InformationGeek]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[indianasmith]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[JaseSF]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[retrorussell]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[Chainsawmidget]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary

Fritz Olaff is conducting secret and highly illegal experiments with Chaz Winthrop III's funding.  In order to test his experiments, Fritz tends to offer homeless people handfuls of cash to test his "new medicine".  (Suffice to say, they never get the cash.  Most don't survive.  After a long boring opening where not much happens and people talk about it for too long, Fritz happens to stumble upon Curtis Snellinger drunk in an alley.  Too intoxicated to say "no" to Dr. Olaff's offer, he's taken back to the lab and given the most recent version of Fritz's animal DNA injections. 
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"

[JaseSF]

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary

Fritz Olaff is conducting secret and highly illegal experiments with Chaz Winthrop III's funding.  In order to test his experiments, Fritz tends to offer homeless people handfuls of cash to test his "new medicine".  (Suffice to say, they never get the cash.  Most don't survive.  After a long boring opening where not much happens and people talk about it for too long, Fritz happens to stumble upon Curtis Snellinger drunk in an alley.  Too intoxicated to say "no" to Dr. Olaff's offer, he's taken back to the lab and given the most recent version of Fritz's animal DNA injections. 
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?
48 min - Apparently six times in a row...no, make that seven!


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"