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The truly terrible joke thread

Started by Trevor, March 01, 2010, 08:28:37 AM

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Alex

You can send files to Bugs Bunny if you wish.

No using Google Drive though.

He only accepts Whatsapp docs.
Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

ER

How many German existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

A fish.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Alex

What do you call a woman who won't give head?

A taxi.
Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

ER

(I heard this during the 2004 elections.)

Why should the Democrats put a lesbian on the ticket?

She'd have lots of experience when it came to licking Bush....
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Alex

If someone was to do a remake of The Shining in Lego, would it be directed by Stanley Ku-Brick?
Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

indianasmith

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar . . . . followed by Batman!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

zombie no.one

why was 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 was a homicidal maniac.
please do not mock my potato.

Leah

Did you know that people eat more bananas than monkeys?

I mean when was the last time you saw someone eat a monkey?
yeah no.

zombie no.one

 I told my wife I had a car made of spaghetti, but she didn't believe it

...until I drove pasta
please do not mock my potato.

Rev. Powell

My girlfriend told me I have to stop with the constant sexual innuendo. I told her it's going to be hard.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

indianasmith

What did God say after creating a 24-hour cycle of darkness and light?

"I think I'm gonna call it a day."
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

ER

Jokes for Existentialists, Part 6:

Do people in hell dream?

Oatmeal dropped on your napkin.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

A mom took her twins in for a dental checkup, and the dentist came to the waiting room and said, "I got some good news and some bad news."

"Uh, let me guess," said the mom, "after taking a look at my twins' teeth, you realized you can finally pay off your sports car?"

"No," said the dentist, "I'm no longer hungry, and you've still got one kid left!"
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Leah

Q: What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?

A: A pool table falling from the tree.
yeah no.

Rev. Powell

Moebius strip walks into a bar sobbing. Bartender asks, "what's wrong, buddy?" Moebius strip says, "Where do I even begin?"
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...