(http://shopping.yahoo.com/video/images/muze/vhs/sm/03/113303.jpg)
This movie is included in the DRIVE-IN MOVIE CLASSICS 50 MOVIE PACK.
I'm speechless. I swear that none of the actors in this movie had any professional training and probably never appeared in anything bigger than a high school play before they made this piece of crap. There are at least a dozen instances where the actors flub their dialogue, but they didn't bother re-shooting the scenes.
In addition to the stiff, emotionless acting, the production values are as far down in the pit of garbage as you can get.
* The interior sets basically consist of cheap, paneled walls, shag carpets, and a few chairs and lamps.
* The fight choreography is stiff and looks very rehearsed . . . one actor will just stand there waiting for the other actor to make his move . . . the punches and kicks miss by about 6 inches . . . the flips are slow and deliberate . . . it basically looks like kids wrestling in the back yard.
* The theme song goes something like: (waka-doink, waka-doink, waka-waaaa) "Get down! The guy from Harlem! Hmmm!" (waka-doink, waka-doink, waka-waaaa) . . .
* The camera hardly ever moves and there are very few film edits within each scene. For instance, in the office scenes, the camera is set up facing a desk. Actors just come into the scene, say their lines, and then exit. The camera stays in the same spot and they hardly ever edit in any close-ups, reverse angles, etc. It's just like watching a play that somebody decided to film with a home movie camera or something.
I challenge you to watch this movie from beginning to end. I did it, but I think the men in the white coats are coming to take me away soon . . .
(waka-doink, waka-doink) . . .
And I'm sure the doctor will inform us: "I'm sorry, but Burgo's mind is lost to us all... All he can do now is mutter 'waka-doink, waka-doink' all day long. What a tragedy..."
Speaking of which, if you do go to the crazy house, who gets your dvd collection?
Dean:
If they send me to the crazy house, I'll have a huge "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" competition for my DVD collection. It will be limited to the people who participate in this forum. Everyone will get a set of clues about where my collection is located, and the first one to reach it can have it.
Burgo:
I had some questions about the 50 movie pack, but don't want to waste your time, if you can point me in a direction that has answers to these questions.
1. How many of the movies are solely available in dvd form in this collection?
2. How is the video quality on this collection?
3. Where is the cheapest place to pick up this collection (best I could find so far is Amazon for $16.47)?
4. How edited are the films on the collection, especially the horror films such as "Don't Open 'Till Christmas"?
5. Are any of these films available on another Mill Creek Entertainment collection sans the logo that I've read pop up on these ones?
dc:
I will do my best to answer your questions:
1. I think that a lot of the movies in the 50 movie packs are also available as single discs that you can pick up for $1. Many of Scott's comments in this forum seem to indicate this. Also, the same company that issues the 50 movie packs also has smaller packs (10 movies, 20 movies, etc.) that are basically "slimmed down" versions of the 50 movie packs (same movies, just fewer of them in each set). I would say that very few (if any) of these movies are exclusively available in this 50 movie set. (Even if they are exclusively available right now, I suspect that someone else will release them soon).
2. Most of the movies I have watched so far in this collection (and any of the other 50 movie packs I bought) are VHS quality or better. Some are actually very sharp, clear copies. Overall, these collections are of higher quality than I ever would have expected for such a low price. On average, though, there are probably about 2 or 3 movies in each set that either have pixillated video images, sound problems, washed out colors, etc. But the percentage of what I would call "unwatchable" or "nearly unwatchable" movies is very low. Probably the most annoying one I have seen so far is in the CHILLING CLASSICS 50 MOVIE PACK. The soundtrack on the movie BELL FROM HELL is so muffled and foggy that you need to turn up your volume and really strain your ears to hear some of the dialogue.
3. I bought mine at Best Buy, but only because it happened to be readily available and I didn't want to go home, order it and wait for it to be delivered. I think the Best Buy price was $22.99. Normally, I buy my DVDs online at DeepDiscount DVD. Unfortunately, they don't have this 50 movie pack listed for sale yet. So, as we stand right now, Amazon may be as good a place to buy it as any.
4. I can't really speak for how "edited" all the films are because there are so many that I have never seen before. I would say some are the complete, uncut versions, but others are versions that were edited (normally for U.S. drive-in release) and issued under alternate titles. For example, COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE is in this collection. This is a retitled version of THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA. I may never watch the version in the 50 movie pack because I already have the Anchor Bay, uncut, widescreen version of SATANIC RITES . . . Also, UNSANE is in this collection, which is a retitled version of TENEBRAE. Again, I already have an uncut, widescreen TENEBRAE DVD, so I may never watch UNSANE. Another one is THE WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMAN. I have the uncut, widescreen version called WEREWOLF SHADOW. For the most part, I don't think the movies are purposefully edited for this collection. I just think they may be the U.S. theatrical release versions which were often shorter than the original European versions. One movie that I am POSITIVE is edited is from the HOLLYWOOD LEGENDS 50 MOVIE PACK. It is called THE KLANSMAN starring Lee Marvin. I read some reviews of this movie that mentioned shocking scenes of racial violence that are definitely missing from the version in the 50 movie pack. After that long answer, I have never seen DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS, so I can't comment on it.
5. Mill Creek / Treeline Films seem to "overlap" a few movies from time to time. In other words you might find 1 or 2 movies in the Drive-in Classics pack that are also in one of the other 50 movie packs. The Mill Creek logo is only slightly annoying. It appears on the lower right corner of the screen about 3 times during each movie. The logo is only there for about 10 or 20 seconds, then it fades out and pops up later. It is NOT on the screen throughout the entire movie. For this price, I can live with it.
Thank you for those very informative answers. It sounds definately worth the $16.47 price tag. I'll probably pick it up after I get done watching the Karate Kid collection, Blood Trilogy Pack, and Demon Seed, which I ordered a while back.
* The theme song goes something like: (waka-doink, waka-doink, waka-waaaa) "Get down! The guy from Harlem! Hmmm!" (waka-doink, waka-doink, waka-waaaa) . . .
That struck me as funny and I'm still laughing every time I read it...
From what you have told us about this movie, I'm extremely surprised that it was even distributed!
I dredged this up in response to the current horror/blaxploitation thread . . .
I was just reading a thing at teleportcity website where a guy tried to review a bunch of the mil creek things, but it seems like he hasn't gotten very far
Veering off-topic from Guy From Harlem and onto the reviews on Teleport City.
He reviews Hercules Vs. The Moon Men. I watched this when I was a kid, and was utterly amazed by the whole thing. And when it came to the climax, I was two inches away from the screen. Herc was in danger and the Moon Men were closing in and the girl was screaming and then - "Scene missing" - and I get to see Herc riding off into the sunset or whatever the last shot was. What the hell happened? And it is sad to say that I have been sooooooooooo tempted to by the Warriors 50-movie set JUST to watch how that movie ended.
Thank god I'm a cheap bastard.
Okay, back the the usual nonsense. Just had to share.