I got this in the mail this am--thought I'd pass them along:
>
> > ______________________________________________
> >
> >
> > This old, but still humorous.
> >
> >
> > Subject: FW: Airline Chuckles
> >
> >
> >
> > In case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to
> > fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
> >
> >
> > After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a
> > "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
> > The mechanics correct the! problems, document their repairs on the
> > form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight
> > Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
> > some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
> > with a P)and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
> > engineers.
> >
> > By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never,
> > ever, had an accident.
> >
> > --------------
> >
> > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> > P: Something loose in cockpit.
> > S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> > P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >
> > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
> > minute descent.
> > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >
> > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > S: Evidence removed.
> >
> > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > S: That's what friction locks are for.
> >
> > P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> > P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> > S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> > P: Number 3 engine missing.
> > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> > P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> > P: Target radar hums.
> > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> > P: Mouse in cockpi! t.
> > S: Cat installed.
> >
> > And the best one for last..................
> >
> > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
> > midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> > S: Took hammer away from midget.
_________________________________________________________________
(http://sidesalad.net/archives/AirplaneMovieOttoPilotInflatable.jpg) "Those are good ones"
I've seen this before but it is always good for a laugh....
Thanks for the laughs, OH. Of course, now everybody at work now knows what I'm doing, when I should be working.